You are a Virgin

[intraining]

You are 23 years old and have never had a girlfriend or a fling with anyone.You are not seen as ugly or a jackass yet you still dont have the confidence to talk to a girl.

Jacking off becomes a daily thing and you hate doing it because you know having a female do it would feel 10x better.You have been close to getting an escort because you want to know how it feels.You back out and never pickup the phone because you will feel like you have failed after its said and done.

Your daily routine is getting old and your days of fun have never started.People have told you to not have a gf and just **** as many girls as you can in your 20s but you are almost to the half way point.You avoid talk about girls at work because you know you have nothing to contribute.Everyone has been in relationship/fling except for you and when asked you just nod and agree as if you know what they are talking about.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO????? you have a job and a nice car but no confidence.What the **** is wrong with me why cant i just break out of this ****ing shell? is it that hard? no then why do i have such a problem with this.I swear if another year passes im going to go crazy.

Maybe i have a problem? or maybe im just a healthy male that wants to feel what everyone is talking about around him.I cant go anywhere without someone talking about sex or a relationship and its driving me nuts.Im trying to avoid online dating because i want to do it on my own face to face but it looks like its going to be the last resort

 

[HandyAndy]

The fact that you wrote most of this in third person, and the last sentence in first and third person makes it hard to decide if your talking about yourself or just talking in general...

So what is it?

 

[intraining]

I apologize i was halfway through it and was telling myself how stupid it was but i clicked submit anyway.It is about me

 

[asskickery777]

Get Into A ****ing Club. Every Night. 2 Months Later, You Score.

 

[FloridaLurker]

what kind of club?

im not exactly in this guys situation but im lacking local friends and have a hard time making them

 

[germxoriginal]

ok sounds pretty bad, but don't be too hard on yourself. this is what you do, go around the mall or a social environment and say hi to every single girl you see. simply say hi. that will help you loosen up on approaching girls

 

[TheBaconator]

You just gotta dive in head first. Go after chicks. I bet you haven't pursued or even approached many women. Am I right? If so you need to ask yourself why. Only you can answer that. Why is it you fear them? Why are you intimidated? They bleed the same blood as males do, they sh*t just like we do, they are human.

So what if you get rejected! A lot of great people throughout history have had to deal with rejection. It weeds out the strong from the weak. If you think about it you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain in trying to pick up every attractive girl you see (well unless you get a clingy psycho or something). Best case you get a girl and turn in the V card worse case she turns you down. That's it, no real harm in that.

You need to be the one to make the steps though. Good luck.

 

[just2elegant]

well...your not the only one, I'm in the same boat. I can pull girls all the time too. I've learned not to stress it though, I've come to realize how much I have been able to accomplish in my life compared to my peers because I didn't have a girlfriend to worry about. I don't regret the person I have become because I didn't have sex yet. Its just a curveball that life is throwing me and once I smash one I'm gonna be a monster. Good luck brother!!

 

[BlakeW5]

well...your not the only one, I'm in the same boat. I can pull girls all the time too. I've learned not to stress it though, I've come to realize how much I have been able to accomplish in my life compared to my peers because I didn't have a girlfriend to worry about. I don't regret the person I have become because I didn't have sex yet. Its just a curveball that life is throwing me and once I smash one I'm gonna be a monster. Good luck brother!!

That's funny because I was the exact same way. I waited later than all my friends (if they're telling the truth lol) to have sex. The amount of things I was able to teach myself and learn in that period was astounding! I'm very proud of the person I am, I'm smart, multitalented, and love to learn and I blame that all on not jumping on the first oppurtunity I had to have sex (it allowed me to focus). And actually, when I finally did, I became a monster. Getting laid became easy and I practically overdosed on it there for awhile.

But to the OP, I agree with Baconater. I think it's just because you're really not trying. The only thing wrong with you is a lack of action. It really isn't that hard. If you spin a roullette wheel enough times you'll eventually hit your number. Getting women is a lot like learning to ride a bike. At first there will be a few bumps and bruises, but once you finally learn you'll wonder why you thought it was so hard in the first place. The common thread between both of them is you have to try. You'll figure it out, just don't be detered.

 

[everywomanshero]

Agree with lack of action. Being with women is very easy, but a lot of guys make it complicated in their heads. Because of this lots of people are ready to sell you books, CDs, etc giving you 5 trillion "tricks". All you need to do is start taking action. Actually go out and try without spending 10 hours rationalizing what could happen if you did take action. make yourself a win-win deal. If you try for 30 days and still cant get laid, you'll get yourself an escort. Start taking action and soon enough you'll think this is no big deal.

 

[brewbaron]

been there. done that. truth is sex and relationships are really no big deal. its natural and you innately know how to do it. stop treating the issue like its life or death, if you assign so much significance to it you are setting yourself up for failure. being a virgin does not diminish your worth in any way. remember: perception is reality, you project to others how you see yourself.

also you need to get over yourself and try online dating. its easy, its fun, whats not to like. and if you are awkward with women, even in the slightest it provides you with a huge advantage .. the chance to have them interested in you before you even meet.

 

[DrD77]

You sound like me. I agree with the other people in here, its because I haven't taken any action at all. I'm too damn terrified that i'll fvck it up. I know that I can get women easily, but I haven't tried at all. I just go to work/school come home every night and read this website for tips or for other people that are in my situation. still no women. nothing has changed because i haven't taken action.

 

[true romance]

actions create emotions

join local sport team, dance school, surround yourself with women..

go out and make it happen...stop whining....

touch your balls if they are still there..

 

[trd323]

To the OP, The feelings you describe is normal, everyone on here and 90% of men have those feelings. It is INSECURITY and telling yourself that you are never good enough. There is no magic pill, advice, or a short cut to breaking out of your mentality. It is all up to you to improve your situation. DO NOT GIVE UP. I am 26 years old and only found my true self a few years ago.

What I did: Threw out everything I thought I knew about pick up. Picked up a few books and just kept reading until a book finally clicked and I was "unplugged from the matrix". It was nothing specific, but one day everything just made sense. And I will tell you that ALL THE PICK UP STUFF IS BULLSHTI (mystery, style, mehow, etc). You need to find who you are and what you stand for and never let anybody shake your reality.

Books I read in order: The power of NOW, any Tony Robbins book, The way of the Superior MAn.

YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY.

Choose now if you want to live your life miserable and depressed or curious and free. YOU CHOOSE.

When I started I tried to emulate Brad pitt and george clooney in Oceans Eleven. Just ask yourself all the time if you were in a movie what would Brad Pitt do that makes every man want to be him and every woman want to be with him.

GOOD LUCK BRO, DO NOT GIVE UP.

CHOOSE YOUR REALITY RIGHT NOW.

 

[intraining]

I can talk to women but when it comes down to me wanting to talk to them because i think they are a potential match i fail.Maybe its because i was burned by the last girl that said she liked me........i thought i was going to win but what happened? she went back to her bf.I was played with and didnt see it because i was to blind to see what was going on.I have been on 1 date in my life.I went to that girls house about 5 times.Why didnt i escalate the situation? i dont know and its way to late.

After all that bull**** i told myself never again and gave up but now its eating me inside.I was so alive when we hanged out and it felt great knowing someone likes you for you.Yes i know a girl will not bring you happiness but its that one road that i have never ventured on.

 

[Lexington]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm also 23. I was an extremely shy and socially awkward child. For years, I was very shy even to talk to my male peers. I was petrified of talking to adults other than my parents. I have mostly conquered those fears, but they still persist to a small extent. Sometimes, I get the urge to avoid people I am acquainted with because I feel shy to say "hello" or engage in a casual conversation.

As a teenager, I became more outgoing and less shy with dudes, but I was still absolutely terrified of girls. Girls weren't repulsed by me. They'd often be quite friendly, but I'd always remain in the friend zone because I was terrified to make a move. I would never get after a girl because I was scared to death of rejection.

I am now working on conquering this fear. At the end of the day, you can't be afraid to make yourself vulnerable. Yes, there is a chance you might get rejected or hurt. But if you take no risk, you'll receive no reward. You've just gotta go out there and put it on the line.

It makes sense logically, right? But logic alone isn't enough to cure a deep-seated emotional issue. I find that it helps to keep working your way up in baby steps. Think of it like inching your way to edge of the diving board before taking the plunge.

Try making closer platonic friendships with girls first. Be comfortable around them. Be comfortable to joke around with them and hang out with them. Be comfortable horsing around with them. Then try working on striking up conversations with strangers. You'll be surprised to learn that most people are actually quite friendly.

If you practice that a little, you'll be ready to step the edge and make the dive. Even if you crash and burn, at least you can tell yourself that you tried. It's much more agonizing to sit there and think about what COULD have been.

You just gotta keep chipping away at that fear. I admit, I'm not all there. But I have made some remarkable progress. It might be frightful at first, but think about when you succeed. You can look back and laugh.

Good luck in your endeavors, I hope you succeed!