"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Yet Another Attenshun Seeking Story

M

moogster

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Well I got involved with this girl 6 months ago and took it real slow. But she wore me down gradually with all the techniques seen in the posts about bpd and hpd, as well as the attention seeking stuff. Man she was good but not good enough. She was a bit of a freeloader too. Anyway, I stupidly fell for her and then I began to see the red flags more clearly. Issued an ultimatum at christmas that if she didn't amend her behaviour, she'd have to leave.

Long story short, she borrowed some money off me to visit her mom, with whom she has a love/hate relationship. In fact, I think she was playing out that relationship through me as well. It began with all this clingy, needy sh*t then the distancing behaviour. I began to realise she has serious problems. On return she did the we'll be better as friends than a couple. Fine there's the door...

Thing is now she is emabarking on a smear campaign against me. Really nasty stuff and I did get angry for awhile. Trouble is this is still going on 2 months later. I tried being friendly with her (big mistake) now I'm avoiding her completely. She can really pull the wounded little girl stuff well. So guys I'm asking what would ya do in a situation like that? I mean how best to handle the lies and distortions....

Rgds,
moogster
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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resilient

resilient

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BPD are bad cases, but the healthiest thing you can do is wish her well, but don't answer her calls/emails.

Those head cases always need a shrink, not another bed buddy. It's a vicious cycle, just be glad you didn't get strung along further than when you realized it wasn't healthy.

She's after you now for attention and can guilt you into doing things with manipulation. Don't let her.

Best bet is to keep her distant and spin more plates.
 
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moogster

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gherald said:
what is BPD?
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BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder
HPD = Histrionic Personality Disorder

- women with these characteristics aren't worth the effort, they will drain you emotionally. You could do a search on this forum for more complete definitions. Basically, learn the signs/red flags and avoid at all costs. Trust me, been there done that.
 
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