"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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****y/smooth comeback for this message

droppinthej

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whats up guys, im in college and here is a message i just got from a girl i graduated high school with, we've been talkin back and forth the past couple of days:

delta zeta definitely knows the meaning of a good time... as far as bringing zack down.. i dont know if i'm that found of him lol but whatever u want to do! anyway almost every night partying here- its fun and crazy.. gosh college is so fabulous! lol talk to u later! bye
p.s. i still think about our days in the 3rd and 4th grade *sigh* lol



Anyways, I am having brain farts tonight and want to come up with a smooth ****y phrase to put in the ps of my message, in response to the 3rd and 4th grade note, thats when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, if you can even call it that, i was the first boy she had a crush on
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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flexion_

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ps... luckily we are both much smarter and things have grown much bigger in most of the right places since then - we should investigate this further. ;0
 

kiz

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Originally posted by flexion_
ps... luckily we are both much smarter and things have grown much bigger in most of the right places since then - we should investigate this further. ;0
lol that's good :D use that.
 

droppinthej

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haha im diggin that one......anybody have other suggestions before i email her back tonight?
 

mrRuckus

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Originally posted by droppinthej

p.s. i still think about our days in the 3rd and 4th grade *sigh* lol



p.s. You're still not over me? Are you going to turn into another one of those girls who won't stop leaving panties on my porch? My parents are starting to question my panty collection and it's starting to get uncomfortable.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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AndyW

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ps - delta zeta may know the MEANING of a good time, but maybe you need someone to actually SHOW you a good time...
 
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