"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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****y/Funny Personality gone?

J

jlazz

Don Juan
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Over the summer I somehow developed the ****y/funny attitude and was really confident in myself...I'm actually suprised...I worked at a country club and when girls would approach the desk I always threw a few lines at them and was able to keep their interest. I even had one girl completely smiling in nervousness the next time she came up to order something. She was blushing...her friend said "sorry she's just a lil shy ;-)" in other words "she likes you".

It meant nothing to me though because I was full of myself and didn't give a **** about what people thought. I ended up getting a girlfriend because of this...I had her laughing all the time and she didn't know what was coming out of my mouth next. I was unpredictable.

But I lost it! Later in the relationship I lost that personality/attitude and started getting clingy.

Anyway, I'm single again and need to get it back. I'm a bit more insecure than I was before. What are some good reads that can put me in the ****y/funny full of myself, but not jerk mindset. It was reading stuff on here that got me into it, but it was some specific articles.

Most of all...I was funny and knew it. I've pretty much lost it. I don't see how I did, but now that I think about it I did. And before, I would say jokes w/ a serious face and now when I'm with friends I'm always the one cracking up and looking like an idiot. I was the guy telling jokes and having people cracking up and now I'm on the receiving end.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A

AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
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I feel you man, I'm in the same boat right now ... it's like I've dropped the crown and someone else took it from me, and now I'm following instead of leading.

I'm bumping this, cuz I'm interested in what might come out ;)
 
J

jlazz

Don Juan
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So how do I get it back? Should I reread the stuff that initially got me confident? It was reading articles in the DJ Bible and some other sites that changed my way of thinking...
 
D

diablo

Master Don Juan
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Louisiana, USA
Please read a section's description before posting in it!.

DJ Tips - Post a tip, technique, idea, or article...



In the future, please try to post in the right section.

Moved to DJD...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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M

monster squad

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I was similar to this.

I was always a natual arseh0le, but I held back. Then I found this place last spring, and decided to break down the dam and be myself. Girls threw themselves at me, and life was good. Got hooked on one, became cilingy, then emotional, then horrible to be around.

I'm only just NOW starting to come out of this. I don't think you can just force yourself out of a rut like that. It just takes time.

While you're waiting, you could try becoming a hermit (and do a lot of whatever interests you), and re-emerge when you're ready. Maybe you're just running on low and need a recharge.
 
M

Magnatolia

Don Juan
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There was a technique I've read about. Haven't tried it personally so can't say how effective it is.


Go back in your mind to the time when you were confident and concentrate on how you feel. While doing this make some sort of body action (scratch ear, press on wrist) - something that's not publicly embarrassing. What this does is associates that action with those feelings. It might give you the boost you need.

Cheers
 
S

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Originally posted by jlazz
Over the summer I somehow developed the ****y/funny attitude and was really confident in myself...I'm actually suprised...I worked at a country club and when girls would approach the desk I always threw a few lines at them and was able to keep their interest. I even had one girl completely smiling in nervousness the next time she came up to order something. She was blushing...her friend said "sorry she's just a lil shy ;-)" in other words "she likes you".

It meant nothing to me though because I was full of myself and didn't give a **** about what people thought. I ended up getting a girlfriend because of this...I had her laughing all the time and she didn't know what was coming out of my mouth next. I was unpredictable.

But I lost it! Later in the relationship I lost that personality/attitude and started getting clingy.

Anyway, I'm single again and need to get it back. I'm a bit more insecure than I was before. What are some good reads that can put me in the ****y/funny full of myself, but not jerk mindset. It was reading stuff on here that got me into it, but it was some specific articles.

Most of all...I was funny and knew it. I've pretty much lost it. I don't see how I did, but now that I think about it I did. And before, I would say jokes w/ a serious face and now when I'm with friends I'm always the one cracking up and looking like an idiot. I was the guy telling jokes and having people cracking up and now I'm on the receiving end.
Click to expand...
Seasonal affective disorder?

I've been ten kinds of AFC the past couple months...haven't had much game at all. Haven't really had that much DESIRE for the 'tang.

Maybe you should give it a rest and focus on yourself and come back to it in a couple weeks.

It's great to WANT to be better with the women, it's very bad to NEED to be better with the women. I found I was happier when I didn't put so much emphasis on performance...just a desire to play the game well is enough.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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