****y+Funny: Do You Still Use It In Your Game?

[Micheal Moon]

This is pretty much standard DJ stuff as I've been reading the forums since I joined.

I've never used this before until recently. I used it on a girl at work pretty much spontaneously ). I wasn't even trying it just came out. (I think the material I've read on this sunk and somehow manifested itself)

Anyway the girl ate it up and got a good response. Took me a while to use it I guess because its not my style. I usually rely on my wit as my style of humour. Slowly I've been able to mix my wit w/ teasing to expand on my style.

That being said since a lot of you are real experienced with this stuff, just a couple of questions

1)Do you guys find it effective?

2)Does it pretty much work on most girls/women across different ages, walks of life, or only on younger girls?

I ask becaue there is a new girl I wanted to get, but she seems more refined and sophisticated than other girls I usually meet. Its hard for me to see C+F working on girls like this.

 

[jophil28]

I ask becaue there is a new girl I wanted to get, but she seems more refined and sophisticated than other girls I usually meet. Its hard for me to see C+F working on girls like this.

" ...girls like this " ?? Do you mean that you believ that "refined" women have no sense of humor and don't like male attention if it is a tad arrogant?
ThIs cheeka is EXACTLY the best candidate for C&F. TRy it - she will act all snotty shocked at first BUT she will eat it up (while she is telling you how much she hates you and how much of a jerk you are ).

Uppity women are my specialty. They are so used to AFCs treating them like a princess...

 

[squirrels]

Is it supposed to be "part of a game"?

I try to be that way with everyone. The real test of someone's personality is how they react to unusual behavior. ****iness, cracking jokes at stuff you wouldn't think is funny, making fun of people (in a friendly way, of course, not being mean), crossing the boundaries of convention...that's the ONLY way you find out more about someone.

You can use standardized social interaction with a girl (or anyone else) all you want and get responses all day. But it doesn't mean you have anything in COMMON with that person. The only way you find that out is to custom-deliver something outside the range of normal social protocol and see how the other responds to it.

Don't think of it as a tactic to try to impress a woman. Think of it as a TEST of HER personality. If she can't respond well to you being a little ****y and busting her balls, do you REALLY want to be with that woman for any length of time?

Even if you F*CK her, then she'll probably be the type to get all whiny and emotional if she can't take a joke.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

Naturally, if you are not funny or ****y, it's more difficult. It helps to believe in yourself, and to know that you are da sh*t. If you can laugh at yourself, then you're on the right track. I joke about what a horrible lover I am, and how I'm not really that big, etc. Like I can give them the best two minutes of their lives. lol! Women I've been with, find this funny.

 

[azanon]

IMO, the technique is a bit childish. I have 2 or three women (girls, because they do this) who do this to me all the time. It seems like the most common form of flirting I see at work. coc* a put-down joke not really meant to hurt feelings, then laugh and giggle. To me, they come accross as silly child games and it definitely doesn't make me think sexual thoughts about them. Given that, I certainly have no intentions of employing a similar style.

If I wanted a woman, I just go batently head first, make it obvious i'm interested, talk with her and ask questions about her, then ask her to lunch. I'm just too old to play those silly games and way too damn cool for them.

coc* and funny seems like a geek's style for getting women. Maybe it does work, but I'd rather maintain my pride and dignity even if it costs me a silly girl or two that such a technique would actually work on.

 

[STR8UP]

coc* and funny seems like a geek's style for getting women. Maybe it does work, but I'd rather maintain my pride and dignity even if it costs me a silly girl or two that such a technique would actually work on.

As Rollo has mentioned before, c0cky+funny is simply an imitation of the behavior of a male who has options.

Granted, it isn't going to be a personality trait of ALL guys with options, but it IS one way that a man who perceives himself to have a high value will act when around a woman. And it's easy to distill this into a "method" that can be learned and used.

 

[azanon]

Granted, it isn't going to be a personality trait of ALL guys with options, but it IS one way that a man who perceives himself to have a high value will act when around a woman. And it's easy to distill this into a "method" that can be learned and used.

I have to acknowledge it problem does work on some women. I know one single guy here at work who does that c+f routine to the point that he's just plain obnoxious to me. I'd say obnoxious, matter-of-fact, but ultimately I guess that's just my one opinion.

My style is friendly but direct, going straight in for my target, holding a gaze and focusing on being a good listener to the woman i'm talking too. Sure, I will laugh during the converstation when its appropriate and natural to do so, but I just flat out refuse to act like a goofball.... I mean coc*-and-funny.

This is just a reminder that DJ bible, DeAngelo and all of the experts is just a guide then you take it from there. With different personalities, it just makes sense to take and leave some of the advise. For the C&F, i'm mostly "leaving" that advise on the table.

 

[Nighthawk]

I don't see how being ****y and funny (my natural state) is either 'geeky' or 'goofball.' It's not called 'weird and crazy.' Fine if it's not your bag, but I don't get what you mean.

 

[joekerr31]

my personal belief, and it goes against what many believe here, is that without a bare minimum level of attraction being ****y and funny doesn't matter.

so with this new 'sophisticated' woman, if she doesnt find you attractive, your C&F won't work. youll come off looking like an AFC that is trying to get her attention.

but if she is attracted to you, even just a little, C&F always works.

C&F is basically the equivalent of pulling on her pig tails. if she is attracted to you she will play in to it. if she's not she will give you the cold shoulder.

now when you say this woman is 'sophisticated', it sounds to me like you are really saying that she is 'cold' (ie. she doesn't joke around easily). but i've yet to meet a woman who was attracted to me that didn't respond to C&F.

i dont care how cold they are, the moment you start with the C&F they will play in to it. even if all they do is give you that 'god, you are so silly' smile and then walk away.

a woman who is attracted to you will always respond positively to attention that you give her.

C&F is foreplay, pure and simple.

where a lot of guys mess up who don't use C&F is that in essence they aren't using foreplay. which makes them appear selfish - as though they just want to get laid.

C&F says to a woman 'im interested in you and interacting with you. i'll worry about getting in your pants later. right now i want to have fun conversing with you.' which puts women at ease - they feel as though they can let their guard down and that they don't have to worry about you making moves on them 30 seconds after meeting them.

 

[Micheal Moon]

Thanks guys, good advice.

I like what joekerr said in that its a lot like foreplay. Good b/c I realize I like doing it so I'll try it on the new one when I get the chance.

 

[STR8UP]

The most enjoyable interactions I have had with women were with an EXCHANGE of C&F.

Kind of like sparring. You BOTH establish interest and have a good time with it.

I do this with my AW friend all the time, even though we are only friends (maybe that's why we get along). It's a little lopsided in that I'm usually the one busting on her a little more, teasing her about being old and such, but she does throw it back a little and it makes for a fun interaction.

So yea, it does work when there is at least some attraction. It can help elevate value and amp attraction.

I think a big part of the reason it works is that it projects attraction COVERTLY. In other words, you are letting her know you are interested by showing attention, but that you are not NEEDY by the attention you give being sort of "condescending".

 

[#41]

so with this new 'sophisticated' woman, if she doesnt find you attractive, your C&F won't work. youll come off looking like an AFC that is trying to get her attention.

A problem I think I run into frequently.

I have a real smash-you-in-the-face sense of humor -- comes naturally with the job I do. I know for a fact that people find me to be funny, but I think I come off as AFC to women because that natural attraction just isn't there.

So what's left for the rest of us non-attractive (not ugly, just not attractive) guys? I find self-deprecating humor to be hit and miss -- mostly I think it just makes me look insecure, which I don't like.

 

[mrRuckus]

I find self-deprecating humor to be hit and miss -- mostly I think it just makes me look insecure, which I don't like.

Maybe you're just not any good at it. Or you're worried about nothing. I've never gotten anything but positive responses to self deprecating humor. Especially if part of your image is your ****iness so that there's a nice contrast that leaves the girls confused.

Humor in general is a great test for people. I have no use for anyone who isn't able to vibe with it, and it serves as a test of intelligence and wit. I mean really... if some chick is going to see me as insecure because i crack a few self deprecating jokes that i obviously just made up, then fvck her... i deal with enough stupid people in every day life that i don't need one in my personal life. The same with people who think they're above humor and act like because you can make people laugh you must be acting like some monkey goofball.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

When women do to me at work, I gotta smile. Because they are just teasing, and that tease leads to a little more tease, and a little more tease, until she's getting undressed to jump your bones.