NINJA PIMP
Banned
Congratulations.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Wyldfire and I are getting married!
- Thread starter NINJA PIMP
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Oh come on...tell the truth...you didn't dare get in the bed and just put my velvet zebra undies on your head. I heard you, woke up and chased your pimply a$$ out of my house with my 0-Cedar Angler Broom and beat you about the head with it about a half mile before you started to cry and beg for mercy.
You, Sniffy, are NOT the "DJ" you make yourself out to be!
And the only visit we're making to the justice 'o the peace is over that restraining order...
You, Sniffy, are NOT the "DJ" you make yourself out to be!
And the only visit we're making to the justice 'o the peace is over that restraining order...
diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Messages
- 4,366
- Reaction score
- 8
That's disgusting, you sicko. She's like 100 or something. Wyld could be your gram.
A laugh!
aaaaaahhhhhh... alittle humour here is always good once in a while:crackup:
Now on a serious note...
CrotchSniffer: You are a sicko with some whack fetishes.. I mean... whats next? U wanna start sleeping with sheep?
Laterz...
aaaaaahhhhhh... alittle humour here is always good once in a while:crackup:
Now on a serious note...
CrotchSniffer: You are a sicko with some whack fetishes.. I mean... whats next? U wanna start sleeping with sheep?
Laterz...
GlutusMaximus86
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2002
- Messages
- 638
- Reaction score
- 1
Actually she is.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Re: A laugh!
I wouldn't be so quick to criticize anyone since you resemble an Elvis impersonator! :crackup:Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
aaaaaahhhhhh... alittle humour here is always good once in a while:crackup:
Now on a serious note...
CrotchSniffer: You are a sicko with some whack fetishes.. I mean... whats next? U wanna start sleeping with sheep?
Laterz...
CrotchSniffer
Don Juan
Dont get so upset, honeypie. I will make amends...
Everybody, I was just kidding, Wyldfire actually gives pretty decent head, but then again, how can you not when you have no teeth?
The only "head" you got that night was from my broom and those panties, and it was the "above the neck" variety. Oh, and for the record...the cops told me they had to use tweezers to collect Sniffer's DNA via a sperm sample. Apparently he feverishly masturbated into those panties he was wearing on his head. Oh, they said he had a shag carpet growing on his a$$, too.
CrotchSniffer
Don Juan
Your pretty face was all over my carpet baby. I can't believe the sick, depraved things you do for fun! You can live in denial in front of these people, but I know I had a piece of your soul that night, when I entered your forbidden sanctums past the back door. I looked deep into your eyes, past all your defenses, that's when I knew you were the Dirty Sanchez type. And you kiss your mother with that same mouth!
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
blah di blah......
And in case you never realised, i WAS joking when i said the thing about the sheep ( :crackup: ), no need to start getting personal:nono: :trouble:
Laterz...
Girl.... You cant say that based on ONE picture that you have seen of me... I have MANY dress codes and styles, I just so happened to be wearing clothes that resembled him at the time that I took that picture
And in case you never realised, i WAS joking when i said the thing about the sheep ( :crackup: ), no need to start getting personal:nono: :trouble:Laterz...
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Re: blah di blah......
Man this I gotta see!
If you're good Aequitas I can recommend you to a guy I know who makes bank here in vegas posing for photos with tourist for tips! I'm talkin like 200K a year!! No lie, and it's all tax free too!
All you have to do is trade your human worth, self dignety, and complete concept of how reality works and you'll be rich! Rich I say!
Oh and best wishes to the happy couple. Your relationship seems to be off a better start then most of the ones I've witnessed as of recent.
You mean there's truth in this photo graphic evidence?
Man this I gotta see!
If you're good Aequitas I can recommend you to a guy I know who makes bank here in vegas posing for photos with tourist for tips! I'm talkin like 200K a year!! No lie, and it's all tax free too!
All you have to do is trade your human worth, self dignety, and complete concept of how reality works and you'll be rich! Rich I say!
Oh and best wishes to the happy couple. Your relationship seems to be off a better start then most of the ones I've witnessed as of recent.
Oh Crotch...you're just so silly. I played a cruel joke on you. I hired a female impersonator to pretend to be me and get it on with you. That wasn't really me and that wasn't really my cattle prod you were "violated" with. I was in the closet video-taping you. There's good news, though...Joey would love to see you again and he only costs twenty bucks! On top of that, I got $200 for that videotape from www.bizarrebuttboy.com!Originally posted by CrotchSniffer
Your pretty face was all over my carpet baby. I can't believe the sick, depraved things you do for fun! You can live in denial in front of these people, but I know I had a piece of your soul that night, when I entered your forbidden sanctums past the back door. I looked deep into your eyes, past all your defenses, that's when I knew you were the Dirty Sanchez type. And you kiss your mother with that same mouth!
Re: blah di blah......
I'm being sarcastic and having fun with this thread, dude. Relax. You aren't a bad looking guy...I never said that. It was your hair, collar and sideburns that made you look like Elvis in that picture. I just say what I think. At least now you know NOT to wear that shirt with that hair and sideburns.Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
Girl.... You cant say that based on ONE picture that you have seen of me... I have MANY dress codes and styles, I just so happened to be wearing clothes that resembled him at the time that I took that picture
Laterz...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
y0
But hey... I admitt though, Its not the best pic and it DOES make me look like Elvis .... When i get my new port folio made i'll send u some PROPER pics:yes: Now go on and go make CrotchSniffer like a good "wife" :crackup:
[EDIT] I meant "wife to BE"
Laterz...
lol.... funny how when i send that pic to other girls they dont leave me alone afterwards?
But hey... I admitt though, Its not the best pic and it DOES make me look like Elvis .... When i get my new port folio made i'll send u some PROPER pics:yes: Now go on and go make CrotchSniffer like a good "wife" :crackup: [EDIT] I meant "wife to BE"
Laterz...
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Also in demand
Some how I could see Wyld and Croch making use of some of the other services here in vegas... like the 24 hour annulment law! It's a regular war of the roses!!
Hehe there's a high demand for that position too aequitas! Male stirppers make a bundle here in vegas. Concidering how many bachelorette parties are thrown here every year, there's a serious shortage of male entertainment!Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
lol PRMoon... For 200 000 American Dollars a year I'll work as a male stripper!
Laterz...
Some how I could see Wyld and Croch making use of some of the other services here in vegas... like the 24 hour annulment law! It's a regular war of the roses!!
Re: y0
Sorry, but ol' Sniffy is going to have to find himself some other wifey-poo. Marriage is against my religion.
Yeah, well a lot of girls think Elvis is "sexay"...Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
lol.... funny how when i send that pic to other girls they dont leave me alone afterwards?
[EDIT] I meant "wife to BE"
Laterz...
Sorry, but ol' Sniffy is going to have to find himself some other wifey-poo. Marriage is against my religion.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.