WTF is wrong with this..

[Noobie]

Ok, so I'm in university and everytime I go clubbing, there's always a new girl that I've met prior to the clubbing event (meaning we're friends beforehand - met at uni) that I dance with. As the night progresses, I eventually end up making out with her and the next day or even afterwards she'll be so cold to me and not talk to me anymore...

I don't understand... am I ruining their reputation...? It's not like I ever tell anyone that it happens.... neither am I looking for sex or a LTR... all i did was kiss her for a prolonged period/makeout... can someone explain why they are so cold to me afterwards..?

 

[Noobie]

btw... i think it's because it's awkward apparently, but I don't understand how... I really need a third opinion on this... I'm too caught up that I can't think properly why..

 

[foomee]

yeah after dating my girlfriend for a year i've gotten to know some of her friends and whenever they hook up with a guy they ignore him the rest of the semester because they think its awkward and they're embarrassed, only not.

 

[Noobie]

but why are they embarassed... is it wrong to makeout even when the conditions are right? What should I be doing instead... :S

 

[NewAndImproved]

If you're not getting the results you want, mix it up.

If you've been making out w/a girl for an extended period of time on the dance floor, your goal should be to move her back to your room or hers, or at the very least get a number. There's no point otherwise.

If you just make out w/a girl and bounce, you haven't made it worthwhile for her to meet up w/you again. You haven't brought her into your world. You certainly haven't made her comfortable.

 

[Noobie]

ok, first of all, not that I'm gay or anything but I'm not looking for a lay.... for reasons I won't say. However, a good time is what I'm looking for since exams are so stressful in uni and blah blah... anyways these people aren't one night people, they're pretty much my friends that I met a month ago that I keep it flirty with.

I guess my main point is that when I go clubbing I just want to have a good time by making out with girls that show interest in me but what actually happens is that they end up ignoring me afterwards. And I donno why....

 

[NewAndImproved]

ok, first of all, not that I'm gay or anything but I'm not looking for a lay.... for reasons I won't say. However, a good time is what I'm looking for since exams are so stressful in uni and blah blah... anyways these people aren't one night people, they're pretty much my friends that I met a month ago that I keep it flirty with.

I guess my main point is that when I go clubbing I just want to have a good time by making out with girls that show interest in me but what actually happens is that they end up ignoring me afterwards. And I donno why....

My advice still applies. Get their # and hang out!

 

[legolas]

but why are they embarassed... is it wrong to makeout even when the conditions are right? What should I be doing instead... :S

It's the slut label that they fear. No matter how the whole thing goes, the fact that she "hooked up" with a guy she just met is enough to make her feel guilty.

Depending on what you want you could do a couple of things.

If you want to date them, don't make out with them on the first encounter, just a few quick kisses and make sure you tell her that the reason you won't make out is because she's special and you want to wait. You just want to slip under the anti-slut radar.

If you just want to continue to hook up like this, well keep doing what you're doing.

 

[horaholic]

Basically, they feel cheap for doing what they did, but there are ways you can counter it. Mystery understands the psychology behind this. Do a forum search for 'buyers remorse"