wtf is a special friend...?

[solo1]

so anyway to me she's a good friend and i dont really care if im in the zone.
anyway, so V-day we hung out....i didnt get her jack.
Turns out she got me a card and some heart shaped lollipops, which im not allowed to eat.

i dont know, she mentioned some mushy stuff in the card, and used the term friends so much, but nothing in the romantic sense.
however we make out, and she lets me kino her practically everywhere. And she worries when i dont pick up the phone or call her when i told her i would.

Call it a curse or a gift, but i seem to be able to understand people easily and their viewpoint.

This leads me to think that it's possible for a guy to be 'the nice guy (not in the afc sense), and the lover at the same time (c&f, teasing).'
Hard to explain, it's like your trapped between reality and fantasy.
In my scenario, trapped between friendship and lover.

If this is the case, there must've been something i did wrong to lead me where i am with her. And if there is, it could happen again in the future. I need to find out what it is.

If any of you have been in a similar situation or understand the problem, then please do tell me. i think my problem is osmetimes i offer advice (not guy/girl problem related) to the person....which lovers normally dont do?
They say your spouse can be friends and lovers at the same time, but i dont see how its possible....what aspects of the friendship are not allowed to be present, if this kind of relationship is to even function?

 

[governor]

I reckon you need to decide which one you want - friend, or lover, if that's the way you want to look at it.
though I believe it is possible to be both.
You said you didn't mind if you were "in the zone" but also that you guys kino and make out etc.
if you're in the zone, it means they aren't attracted to you and they would be talking to you about all her other boy problems (which she isn't). if you were "in the zone" she wouldn't be making-out with you.
As long as you aren't trying to find a solution to her every problem (or telling her all of yours), i don't think it's that big an issue.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

Maybe by "special" she's calling you retarded?

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by governor
I reckon you need to decide which one you want - friend, or lover, if that's the way you want to look at it.
though I believe it is possible to be both.
You said you didn't mind if you were "in the zone" but also that you guys kino and make out etc.
if you're in the zone, it means they aren't attracted to you and they would be talking to you about all her other boy problems (which she isn't). if you were "in the zone" she wouldn't be making-out with you.
As long as you aren't trying to find a solution to her every problem (or telling her all of yours), i don't think it's that big an issue.

That my friend, is hardcore KBJing and also a jab at other socalled DJ's out there. It's all relative...

Being in the zone, is sometimes a good thing. You do get to be called the 'special' friend. Especially when you become FBuddies. Taking 'the zone' to an all new level. Very few PUA's and players know what it's like to be in 'the zone' so they tell you to stay away from it. They have become so emotionally insecure that 'the zone' to them means failure, since their entire method relies on 'getting to yes' and not working out a problem over time.

Maybe by "special" she's calling you retarded?
That is what you call C+F, I laughed my head off thinkin about this I'm looking at the girls half of the game, and making it a manly game.

"what the hell? You calling me retarded for?" "I'll be with my friends, come sit on my lap when your ready to say sorry, bye"

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
Especially when you become FBuddies. Taking 'the zone' to an all new level. Very few PUA's and players know what it's like to be in 'the zone' so they tell you to stay away from it. They have become so emotionally insecure that 'the zone' to them means failure, since their entire method relies on 'getting to yes' and not working out a problem over time.

perfect example of a virginal KBJ.

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by Egoist
perfect example of a virginal KBJ.

They have become so emotionally insecure that 'the zone' to them means failure, since their entire method relies on 'getting to yes' and not working out a problem over time.

personally i dont see anything wrong with cutting your losses and moving on. But many times you can also reap the benefits by working out problems and deciding what both parties want. If you both equally want the same that's a deal breaker there, if one of you dont then all there is to do is move on.

To each their own i suppose....but hey..the more women in your life the greater your social proof.

i think governor pretty much summed up what i needed ot hear.
WTF is a KBJ?

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Originally posted by solo1
personally i dont see anything wrong with cutting your losses and moving on. But many times you can also reap the benefits by working out problems and deciding what both parties want. If you both equally want the same that's a deal breaker there, if one of you dont then all there is to do is move on.

To each their own i suppose....but hey..the more women in your life the greater your social proof.

I think you already have your answer from your initial post, before governor even responded to you. I was just giving my general thoughts... as far as 'not letting this happen again'

Why not strive for it? What's so bad about being a friend and a lover at the same time?

Is it just because it's a waste of time?

If so, you might be able to break down what a waste of time is to me...

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by ethnomethodologist
I think you already have your answer from your initial post, before governor even responded to you. I was just giving my general thoughts... as far as 'not letting this happen again'

Why not strive for it? What's so bad about being a friend and a lover at the same time?

Is it just because it's a waste of time?

If so, you might be able to break down what a waste of time is to me...

I dont know, but i dont believe its possible to be a friend and a lover while you're exclusive, each other starts having expecations of each other and eventually problems arise...that the friend part barely comes into the picture.

im not saying its a waste of time, however any type of relationship takes investment of time.

A part of me wants to be bf/gf with someone. however sometimes because of the friend part mixed with lover, women may not see me as BF material. well thats what i think anyway.
i suppose its all good, im in no hurry to be tied down, not yet anyway.