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WTF happened here, was I in the wrong?


Don Juan
Oct 7, 2002
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tuscaloosa, al, USA
Me and this girl dated for 2 years, on the outside ALL of my friends and cohorts said we were perfect for each other, we were both the same age, had the same taste in music, had all the same friends, had same jobs (bartenders), we really clicked on those levels.

About 3 months into the relationship, after spending EVERY DAY together (we were exclusive) the sex got really weird. She would only have sex with me if her back was turned to me, I.E. she would just roll over on her side and no even participate in sex, it was like jerking off but with a vagina. I asked her if she was attracted to me or what. She said yea and said she had some sexual problems, (which wasn't a deal breaker as long as things got better) As time went on there were long months to as where she wouldn't have sex with me but like 2 or 3 times a month. We would get in the bed and I would start messing around with her and she would say, "not tonight but in the morning" Morning would come and no sex, or she would be angry about it.

We broke up like 5 times during our relationship, I was the one usually initiating it as she was super possessive and jealous. She accused me of cheating for over a year! I never did.

As time went on, she would make comments like, "your the stronger one and I don't like it" She would have to be with me every minute of every day. For six months she went to drug court and I was her only friend as all of her friends (who smoke pot) wouldn't hang out with her. It wore me out. I encouraged her to get a life of her own as she was drownding me with her insecurities. This girl was HOT and she could sing, but she would never believe me.

The last year was weird, she worked in the bar down the way from me, she would get extremly pi$$ed if we did well at my bar and their bar didn't, it got to the point I wouldn't answer her phone calls at night because everytime she would come up after hours when I had people still there she ruined everyone's good time.

When we first got together we had talked about moving away and opening our own bar together she was supposed to save up 10k to open the bar with me, well the bar I was working at the owner wanted me to come in as partner, I asked her if she had her 10k to open it and she said no. So I took over half of the bar and have been very successful since.

We broke up again and the 2 conditions I gave her was that she had to clean her room (it was in squallor, clothes literally knee deep and her dog had buried trash into it) and to get a checking account. She never cleaned her room and it took her 4 months to get a checking account. She told me she wanted me to be more loving and etc. but that's hard to do when she didn't come up with her end of the bargain. I was more loving and stuff for like a month but when she didn't clean her room or anything I started to pull back

about the last 2 months of us being together she was telling me that she wanted to marry me and such. I had reservations though, I felt like I was putting in more into the relationship then she was, she would never meet me half way she would only come about 25% of the way. So I broke up with her on a Sunday. I have felt terriable about it ever since. After we broke up we met a couple of times (like 2 weeks later) and she was like, "you need to move on with your life" and such, I was in shock I was hoping to get back together with her as I really did love her. I found out later that she had hanging out excessivly with this guy that she works with. The day after we broke up I heard through a mutual friend that she started hanging out with this guy like every day since.

The thing I don't understand though, she's 30, the guy she is dating now is 21 and works in the kitchen where she works at.
I'm 30 I own my own bar and am fixing to buy another bar, can anybody shed any light on WTF happened here, I'm still in shock 2 months later, I've fooled around with other girls, hadn't been laid yet though, but I'm still in love with her and it fu#$kin suxxs.


Master Don Juan
Jul 19, 2004
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Originally posted by Itsatisfies

1. about the last 2 months of us being together she was telling me that she wanted to marry me and such.

2. I found out later that she had hanging out excessivly with this
guy that she works with. The day after we broke up I heard through a mutual friend that she started hanging out with this guy like every day since.

I've found that relationships turn sour about the same time the sex goes bad. Kinda like jumping the shark.

1. She would have married you and divorced you soon after taking 1/2 your stuff. Soooo fukked up.

2. Oh, the guy she's been wanting to be with. Yep - she's probably been grooming him for the position for a while. Also, it seems like she likes younger guys.

Bro, sorry to hear another sad tale like yours. Sounds like she was using you for a while. Like for most of the relationship. She really wasn't that into you. She faked her part in the relationship or at least you were so blindly in love that you didn't see the signs that she had checked out of the relationship.

So, life lesson learned. You now know what you DO NOT want in a relationship. I had this happen to me when I was about 24 years old. Similar situation, but different ages and time frames. I bailed when I could tell she was just sticking around b/c I had potential. Our relationship lasted maybe 2 months total. She went right back to her ex. The same guy she would talk about quite often. (another sign - when they talk about a different guy alot).

You'll get back up.

Big Eee Zee

Master Don Juan
Mar 14, 2005
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heres how i see it

1.) you seem like the man
2.) she seems like a mess
3.) dont worry about it.

you have your **** together, go get laid by a hot chick.


Senior Don Juan
Oct 20, 2005
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After reading the part where your girl would only have sex with her back turn to you just cracks me up hahaha

Sorry after that I lost focus on what you're trying to say, so move on is what I suggest.. she obviously got issues, you don't. Forget about it.