"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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wtf do i do to regain this girls trust?

The challenger

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ok so around januaury i met this girl and we hit it off great. we didnt rele date much but we talkeda **** load and stuff. now while this was going on i dated some other girls and pretended like i didnt like her. i whud go "yo so great, i danced with melissa at blah blah party" cause i thut it whud give me some social proof and make it seem i dont like her and stuff

now the weird thing is. like a lil after we pretty much stoped talking to each other. we were supposed to go out this one day but she flaked and said she was tired but asked if i whud still drive her to this thing. i said na i cant unless we go now, and after we just barely talked to each other.

yesturday however i randomly decided to talk to her again so i imed her. and we talked and it wasnt bad. then when i woke up today i relized the reason shes acting rele cold and stuff is cause i think i hurt her in some way. and this girl has alot of baggage sorta and isnt trusting at all, so hurting her once cud get her extremly defensive. anyway so i THINK i hurt her by talking about other women and stuff like that back when we both knew we liked each other and then it probably got worce when i decided to stop talking to her.

anyway so, how exactly do i get her trust back?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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The challenger said:
..anyway so, how exactly do i get her trust back?
The chances of her trusting you will be low until you can learn to trust that you are a good enough guy for her to be interested in. Like edmond said, you have to be mature enough to realize that you game playing is for kids. If she was doing it to you we'd tell you to next her, wouldn't we?
 

The challenger

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ya.. thats what i was thinking to. u guys just reconfirmed it thanks

i was thinking of straight up telling her or showing to her that i like her and im done playing games.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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The challenger said:
...i was thinking of straight up telling her or showing to her that i like her and im done playing games.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.....

Telling her = Straight up AFC
Showing her (within reason) = The DJ way

Actions speak louder than words, it's cliche but it's true if showing/determining interest level. Showing a woman should be genuine, in my book that means showing her something that another guy couldn't buy at a store. It's something that has no price; something that has everything to do with you and not what you can buy her. Get the picture?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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The challenger said:
ya i no TELLING her is afc, but whats a good way to show her?
Be G-E-N-U-I-N-E.
 
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