Wow! Rejected with BF excuse

[Sp1kez]

I work at a mall, and it is very easy for me to meet girls, however I never try the cold approaches, the ones I meet from there are usually the ones that come up to me and start making conversation.

A few weeks ago, I was just sitting there and I see this chic walk by with a couple of her friends.......I scoped them out and she made eye contact with me......as she was walking away she looked over her shoulder and caught me staring....she kept walking.

Later on she comes back the other way and does the same thing.

I don't see her for like a week. Then one day Im just sitting there and I see that she her walking, however she has the uniform of one of the stores near where I work. yes she works in the mall too!

So yesterday as i was walking to work I see her standing up outside her work and as I walk by we make eye contact and she smiles, I smile back.

I waited a lil bit then made up my mind to approach her......I didnt have anything to loose. So I go to her, and as Im talking to her she gets this HUGE smile on her face and starts getting RED! so I tell her If she'd like to join me for coffee sometime and she says "I would love to!......but I have a bf" right there I didnt know what to say...forgot about the "I just met you and you're already telling me about your problems?" thing , so i just said "Oh thats cool, I respect that, well I'll see you around" and smiled and left.


I dont know why she kept giving me those looks and smiles if she has a BF but Im pretty sure I'll be seeing her around, so I need to work on BF destroying patterns so that I can use them while talking to her....... Any ideas?


Sorry about long post, kinda needed to let it all out. Oh and my ex-called and said she wnated to "hang out" lol.......I dont know if its a good idea after she tried to LJBF me...

EDIT- Revised grammar.....geez

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by Sp1kez
I work at a mall, and it is very easy for me to meet girls, however I never try the cold approaches, the oens I meet from there are usually the ones that come up to me and start making conversation.

A few weeks ago, I was just sitting there and I see this chich walk by with a couple of her friends.......I scoepd them out and she made eye contact with me......as she was walking away she looked over her shoulder and caught me staring....she kept walking.

Later on she comes back the other way and does the same thing.

I don't see her for like a week. Then one day Im just sitting there and I see that she her walking, however she has the uniform of one of the stores near where I work. yes she works in the mall too!

So yesterday as i was walking to work I see her standing up outside her work and as I walk by we make eye contact and she smiles, I smile back.

I waited a lil bit then mad eup my mind to approach her......I didnt have naything to loose. So I go to her, and as Im talking to her she gets this HUGE smile on her face and starts gettign RED! so I tell her If she'd like to join me for coffee sometime and she says "I would love to!......but I ahve a bf" right there I didnt know what to say...forgot about the "I just met you and you're already telling me about your problems?" thing , so i just said "Oh thats cool, I respect that, well I'll see you around" and smiled and left.


I dont know why she kept givign me those looks and smiles if she has a BF but Im pretty sure I'll be seeing her around, so I need to work on BF destroying patterns so that I can use them while talking to her....... Any ideas?


Sorry about long post, kinda needed to let it all out. Oh and my ex-called and said she wnated to "hang out" lol.......I dont know if its a good idea after she tried to LJBF me...

Dude, I'm not picking on you, but it's extremely difficult to read a post with so many spelling, and grammar errors. Take English 101, and come back.

I make mistakes too, but sometimes this gets ridiculous.

 

[Tazman]

A girl in my college class initiated "kino" on me, so I decided to pursue her (never even spoke to her before). She showed all the signs of interest and then mentioned her boyfriend in a conversation we were having. I decided to leave her alone and yet she would still try to get my attention (to this day she continues). I don't get some women.......

 

[So Many Ways]

I've gone up to girls who were burning a hole through my forehead, then I approach, only to hear the "boyfriend" mentioned in the convo.

I've also had a similar scenario as above, only for the female to completely ignore me once I opened my mouth.

I've had girls initiate a conversation with me, only for their boyfriend to be a few feet away!

I've had times when I noticed a girl check me out for weeks at a time and when I finally act, she forks over the digits and tells me she has a bf over the phone. This, or a variation of this, has happened to me several times.

I also once met a chick in a club (big surprise), engage in a makeout session, get her #, call her up and her bf answers the phone.

Variations of these kind of scenarios happen all the time. Don't be suprised when it happens and don't take it personally. It's their issue, not yours. Also, sometimes a woman will bring up a bf as a sh!ttest, or they want to f*ck around on the side.

 

[MindOverMatter]

she smiled and established ec with you because she liked the attention you were giving her. girls in relationship do this because they like the feeling of knowing that if for some reason their relationship doesn't work out, they're still wanted by guys.

 

[Fatality]

Maybe she liked you, but still likes her boyfriend and isn't the cheating type.

 

[penkitten]

dont hang out with the ex that wanted to ljbf you.
she still wants to ljbf you.

 

[Qualtran]

I dont know why she kept giving me those looks and smiles if she has a BF but Im pretty sure I'll be seeing her around, so I need to work on BF destroying patterns so that I can use them while talking to her....... Any ideas?

Thinking in terms of "BF destroying patterns" does not seem like the best approach to me. The only way you can "destroy" a bf is if the girl decides that she is more attracted to you and doesn't like her bf that much. At this point you don't even know the girl and she may not even have a bf, so you should forget she said anything about a bf and continue to be a dj. Girls always seem to have some sort of defense up, and true dj's have a way of seeing through that defense and getting what they want.

 

[allan976]

Spikes,

I'm in week 7 of DJ (mature man's) bootcamp and I run into the 'borefriend' line all the time, either when the girl initiates eye contact or more often when I cold approach. Sometimes I get a number and then hear about the boyfriend or he's mentioned during the course of the cold approach before or after I try to get a number. I've been trying to run borefriend destroyer routines but my heart's just not into it. I feel like I'm crossing a line when I do so.

Qualtran, it would be helpful if you gave an example from personal experience of how you've overcome the borefriend objection/test/reality.

In terms of my my own concrete experiences, borefriend destroyer routines can often leave a girl frozen with a deer in the headlights look since they expect guys to tuck tail and run upon mention of a (real or imagined) significant other, but like I said I feel 'wrong' trying to get a number after the mention of a boyfriend. That is, I'll run the lines, but feel 'bad' about doing so, and often won't try to get the number. My guess is that persistence is key. Again, I'd love to see field reports from others who've been able to get past the boyfriend objection. Props to Spikez for highlighting this thorny issue.

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by Qualtran
Thinking in terms of "BF destroying patterns" does not seem like the best approach to me. The only way you can "destroy" a bf is if the girl decides that she is more attracted to you and doesn't like her bf that much. At this point you don't even know the girl and she may not even have a bf, so you should forget she said anything about a bf and continue to be a dj. Girls always seem to have some sort of defense up, and true dj's have a way of seeing through that defense and getting what they want.

If the girl didn't like her boyfriend that much, she most likely wouldn't tell you she had one in the first place.....

 

[biggestplaya]

come on brother pull yourself together, u should have thought about that before hand. i approached a girl and she said that im already seeing somone, grabbed er hand (kino) while slowly storking it i said no ring means not that serious she was speechless then i sed well join me 4 coffee and if you want bring him along to she said its alrite il *** alone.

RESULT


Biggestplaya

 

[Enzo]

Just give her your number and say "If your boyfriend fvck up, call me"

 

[Sp1kez]

Yeah I should have told her "Well here is my numbe rin case it doesn't work out"

I Saw her today, we were walking on the same hallway on the way out of the mall........I said "hey" and she looked at me and smiled and said "HI!" then when we got to the parking lto I told her "Bye" and she said "See you around"

I was gonna say 'So about that coffee?" but there was people around so I just ignored the whole issue...

 

[crowes22]

Basically be aloof, ignore her almost. Do a search on BF posts, a real search. See what Pook has to say about BF's. It's true!

--Crowes