Wow....now im stumped

[Roobs]

Ok guys....I thought I had my **** together again, but now Im second guessing myself, and looking for some advice.....

To cut a lot of crap: I went out with a girl long distance for close to 2 years...saw each other like every 2 months, and had a seriously great relationship, loved her family blah blah. I end up moving closer to her for Uni, and a month later **** hits the fan. I was pretty messed up by it.

I know that at the time, I wasn’t sure of myself, I was in a new city, away from my friends, and was clinging to her, looking to her for direction, and blowing off my commitments for her-- Im pretty sure my behavior had a fair bit to do with why it ended.

I cut all contact from her as soon as i walked away from the "breakup talk" we had.

Fast forward 3 months. Still no contact. I’m all right, going to the gym a lot, getting fit, going out, and generally getting into the dj game again. But to put it simply she's still all up in my head.

Today I get this email from her

"Hey…haven’t talked in a really long time…like I’m not sure if you never wanted to hear from me again but I thought I’d see how things were going for you anyway lol…it’s kindof weird not having u around at all anymore and I do miss you and it would be nice to try and maybe work on building a friendship between us… I just thought I’d see if it was something you wanted to try too…
Anyway, hope things are really good for you…
------<>"

Now I don’t know how to reply—-at this point, I’d consider being her lover again, but sure as hell won’t settle for being another one of her many guy friends and sitting by as someone else is ****ing her. A point I think I’d only be at if I was 100% satisfied with my life, my time, and who Im spending it with.

So my question is this: any good advice on how to handle things here? How to articulate myself without coming across as a babbling wuss, bearing in mind this is a girl who I hold a lot of respect for?

Cheers

 

[kratosnofear]

She probably got used or played by someone and is remembering all the good times with you. All you'll ever be to her is a temporary lover to make her feel good about herself and once she does she'll break up with you again. I'd only be friends with an ex if she could be used as social proof, but that's rare. I'd tell her how great things are going for you and that you're seeing someone and a friendship would be inappropriate.

 

[Roobs]

yeah, she may well be in crawling back mode....but "tempoary lover"...mate we went out for 2 years......Im not a fan of the bull****ting to make myself look good...but thanks for the suggestions

Im thnking I'll tell her, that Im generally great, blah blah....and that we can catch up for some coffee after my exams ---I wanna find out if she's single (if not it's gonna be a damn quick coffee), and if she still entertains me like she used to.....

thoughts?

 

[Alphamale1821]

thats a good way to approach it. My thought on meeting up with your ex are see hows she's doing explain how great your life is and if she's single either keep a healthy friendship with her alive or push the odds and have her as a friend with benefits. Either way you make the decision and don't let her suck you in with any of her bull crap. Do what you want with her on your terms don;t let her get you in to anything that you don't want to do.

 

[Moofahsa]

Run far away from that situation.

You'd just set yourself up for more problems-

 

[Roobs]

can you elaborate?