Wow, I treated her like ****

[JLW]

I'm in an LTR with a girl.

Basically, lately I've been taking her for granted.

She went off on vacation for 5 days. I didn't call her once. When she called me, I was pretty mean to her, asking "Why she called".

Then, I didn't want to go to a concert with her that I got tickets for, for her birthday.

Then, she invited me to go to a fair (like where they have amusement park rides and stuff), and I said I would go, but then I backed out of it.

Then she was saying how she's responsible, and I said "NO YOU'RE NOT!" (she really isn't, but she's gotten a lot better and she was very insulted).

It's always good to go by the motto "never put ***** on a pedestal." But I basically treated my LTR girlfriend of 7 months like complete and utter ****. Oh, and of course, she's terribly hurt. She thinks that I don't like her at all, and for good reason.

I apologized to her over the phone, of course, saying I don't know what the **** got into me over the past few days, but I don't know if that's enough. And I tried to reassure her that I really do like her.

Then, I said I would go to the fair with her, and I'd like to come with her. She said "maybe". I just responded, "Well, call me up if you want me to come, I'd like to go with you, but I can understand why you would want some time alone." And I left it at that.

I was thinking I would come to surprise her at her house to apologize, and maybe burn her a CD or something.


I mean normally that's a bad idea, but I was a COMPLETE *******. And I think it would sorta even it out.

I just thought I'd get some opinions.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

That sort of thing happens to the best of us. I've pulled crap like that before and you just need to apologize and reassure her that you still like her... but also tell her that you were under some stress that had nothing to do with her.

Don't become too apologetic... just say sorry and then give her the best damn sex you've ever given and she'll feel reassured. The CD idea is good, but I wouldn't go too far in trying to buy her apology.

Keep things physical and get her hot.

She'll forget the bad stuff once you bring on the "love"

 

[MightyMate]

You acted really stupid.

 

[Impact]

If you like her, stop being mean and treating her like sh1t.
If you dont like her, let her go.
A real man is never disrespectfull with a woman, especially if its his girl.

 

[ValleyDJing]

In my opinion, that ***** up on a pedastal stuff, is only for the girls that are *****es or think they can do better than you. If the girl has been treating you good, there's no reason why you can't be a good man to her. and I agree with canada here...give her some good sex. Passionate sex...not the stuff where you just go for yours and beat up her ***** and all that. You gotta do this one to please her.

 

[JLW]

Well yea, I'm pretty much surprised she didn't dump me through all that.

She treats me pretty damn good.

I apologized to her in person and burnt her a CD. I figured it would counter-balance my totally ****ty behavior.

So we went to the fair together with a bunch of friends and that was cool, too.

I think I smoothed things out.

The wildly good sex thing was out of the question. Time of the month.

 

[niceguydying]

If you really care for this girl YOU WILL STOP treating her like a doormat! Sorry to lay it out as such for you, but if you don't take your kids to the circus somebody else will. Get my drift? Hey look, I have done that same junk in the past and it comes back to haunt you. I am not talking about being an AFC with her. It is called mutual respect and she wants it like you do. Did you get jealous or something that she went on vacation without you or something? Don't put her on the pedestal and treat her like you want to be treated unless you want to be single again. I hope my post doesn't make me look like an AFC.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I hope my post doesn't make me look like an AFC.

Not at all man, that was some solid advice. There's a fine line between AFC-ness and mutual respect.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree, complete AFC behavior. What guys need to realize that it's seldom about the girl or what she does, it's all about how he reacts to it. If any negative actions are based solely on emotions he needs to step back and take a good look at himself.

 

[DJ4Life]

she said she was hurt, and think you dont like her

she never asked you for apologies

then why did you SAY sorry? And oh yeah, it was over a phone too, real personal and intimate don't you say?

if you are really sorry for what you did, show it by action, take her to a movie, amusement park, set up a date for ice skating, dine at a good restaurant etc

overdramatic apologizing in many cases make you an AFC, there's nothing more of a turn off for women than a jerk (you) turning into a wussy

and you know what the girl is thinking? she's probably thinking about some sort of revenge for treating her **** for, SEVEN months??

and on top of that you ASKED her for her forgivness, and ASKED her if she will go to a fair with you etc. 20 bucks say she will play hard to win back

you are in for a rough ride, and i dont wanna sound like a fag too, but you probably deserve it

 

[00Kevin]

sounds like you over reacted. you made her upset and now you are kissing her ass.

if you want to keep her then start acting normal. Don't continue to try to make amends. I would just keep a distance for a bit and focus on other things like the gym or something productive. When she calls tell her that you are very very busy.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

This is truly amazing. First you treat her like shyt, then you put your tail between your legs and act like a wuss.

Rarely if ever, does it pay to apologize to a woman. They will instantly see you as weak and use it against you. You made the choice to treat her like crap, now live with your decision and shut the hell up.

You guys have to remember: when women dump you, they don't feel bad about how terrible they treated you. In fact, they usually view you with disdain and think you deserved even worse. A lof of guys on this board can probably indentify with this. Women are RUTHLESS when they dump you, so please don't feel bad about how you acted, and certainly don't compound the problem by apologizing.

 

[insanity]

exactly... i never tell a woman sorry, even if i'm in the wrong. it's really bizarre too that if you wait long enough the woman will come to you and apologize even if you were in the wrong. how weird is that.

women are very ruthless. if you dump them, your the badguy. if they dump you your still the badguy.