wow, I never knew it was this difficult...

[TakenDirectly]

There's this one girl that I wrote about before that just felt like nothing would work. I would get moderate attention, but only when I gave some to her. Basically I was looking to see if she had any interest in my, but man it's like nothing was good enough. So I've been doing this whole sort of "ignoring" her thing and wow I never knew it was so difficult. I see her often (this one actually works near where I work), but having to hold back from saying "hows it going" or "hey" was such a tough thing. Fact is that I finally feel like "screw it, I gave her enough, now she has to work for mine", but I feel like a failure since I see it as "well I guess I wasn't good enough for her to even say hi how are you". Don't feel too much like a failure, but I always take hits to my pride pretty hard. Well, just thought I'd share that. Some might feel like this, but I guess the message is to move forward and learn. It always hurts, but it doesn't last forever.

 

[Interceptor]

It 'hurts' because she didnt give you the narcissistic ego validation.

You sound like you like her, but really NEEDED her validation and approval.
And that's coming from a place of neediness and weakness.
Be careful withthat attitude, women are not there to inflate our egos, and looking for them to validate that narcissistic side is a bad deal..
Think about this. And learn how bad it is to look at women from that perspective.

The only women you should EVER be concerned about are the ones who CARE ABOUT YOU and your Feelings.

If they dont, and you still NEED thier attention...you are making a big mistake.


Get this handled now, so you wont go after women who dont want you , and you dont go after women needing their attention and validation.

 

[TakenDirectly]

It's just one of those moments you know?

I mean, it felt like I played it well enough to joke and be ****y, but in the end NOTHING. It's not so much that I liked her (although she is kinda cute), but this was more of a "practice" that I just felt should of gone a lot better. So yeah, I did kind of feel like I needed it because I felt I did everything right, yet nothing went like I hoped it would.

 

[Desdinova]

I finally feel like "screw it, I gave her enough, now she has to work for mine", but I feel like a failure since I see it as "well I guess I wasn't good enough for her to even say hi how are you".

The problem is you need to have enough value for her to 'miss you'. If you're just another guy, she won't care if you never say hi to her again. If you give intense attention and then take it away, you will get a reaction out of her. She needs to feel happy / excited while she's around you, and when you don't give her attention she'll dwell on why you're too busy to make her happy / excited. You need to get yourself stuck in her brain if you want to become too valuable for her to lose.

 

[TakenDirectly]

The problem is you need to have enough value for her to 'miss you'. If you're just another guy, she won't care if you never say hi to her again. If you give intense attention and then take it away, you will get a reaction out of her. She needs to feel happy / excited while she's around you, and when you don't give her attention she'll dwell on why you're too busy to make her happy / excited. You need to get yourself stuck in her brain if you want to become too valuable for her to lose.

Weird thing is that I thought I did. I made her laugh, I showed interest (not too much). I joked around with her in a way that I got her to even think I'm cute (at least I think so, unless she was joking around too). Honestly, I just think there's another guy she's liking and as long as he gives her attention then she just doesn't need mine. I wouldn't say it's over, but when I read a book like The Game and hear stories of guys who still get girls attention weeks and months after I'm just perplexed at how so much of my effort was for nothing. It could be a oneitis thing, but it's annoying and frustrating. So much that I just took a 3 mile run without even feeling tired every time I remembered what happened lol.

 

[n00bPimp]

I havent heard that many stories where ignoring actually worked and the girl came back.

 

[TakenDirectly]

but aren't there a lot of stories where constant attention drives the girl away?

 

[Wodan]

Totally agree with interceptor, I think alot of people when just starting out go for someone they like, that they have no idea likes them and more often than not doesnt, they then get a massive kick in the ego and try to regain it by carrying out the same process on others, 'the player is born'