I get this occasionally. People get the impression that I'm anti-marriage. I've had a fantastic marriage for almost 14 years now, but I'm not going to sugar coat the facts that marriage involves life changing sacrifices for men that no woman will ever fully understand or appreciate. I'm not anti-marriage. I'm anti-uninformed, pollyanna, shoulda saw it coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children for life, marriage.
We have good sex. Mrs. Tomassi still looks amazing and she's fun in bed, it works, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't better while we were single. We knock it out 2-3 times a week, with a hummer on her off weeks, but even in the best marriages, logistics, familiarity, and the simple agency that all women believe they have (and too many men confirm for them) with regards to sex changes the dynamic. Remember the first 3 months of ƒucking your LTR? You and she rearrange your schedules just to better facilitate day long marathon sex sessions? None of that urgency is found in marriage - unless you're trying to have your first kid - it's all about the conditions and the motivation.
I don't regret MY marriage, but I'm pained by what most marriages are. If I had to do it all over again I'd definitely still marry Mrs. Tomassi for a variety of reasons, but I would've proceeded into it completely different. I would've held off from proposing marriage a lot longer and enjoyed the sexual tension that only single-life competition anxiety can produce. It was a long learning process for me to realize that there are certain precedents that need to be established BEFORE a guy even considers marriage. The most critical time a man has with regards to establishing frame and tone of a long marriage is while he still has a very real grasp of how motivating competition anxiety is for women while single. That inner chump needs to be replaced with positive, confident masculinity, before you put a ring on her finger. Because if you unplug from the Matrix during marriage she will always remember you as the chump you were before marriage. Changing that perception is a tough road to hoe.
