Wow, I just discovered some my Blue Pill writing

[MtnMan]

Holy crap, I was just cleaning the place up (dinner date here tomorrow night). I found some stuff I had written right after my ex had dumped me and moved out. This was in november of 2013, so not very long ago.
I wrote my thoughts every night for the first couple weeks. It was sickening. Could not be more beta or blue pill. I would quote some of it, but I threw it in the wood stove and disposed of it. I also found a letter I had written to her begging for a second chance.

Here I am a few months later, I made serious lifestyle changes, gamed her back for a bunch of hot sex and broke that off too. Its crazy how much my life has changed in the last few months.

Thank you guys for posting here, this has been an invaluable resource. I am starting to learn game, and having some halfway decent luck. More importantly I am having fun meeting women, which I never really had fun with before. Its so great to realize chicks want to F me, and if I approach enough women I CAN get laid.

It still hurts to realize that my ex really can never be relationship material for me. Part of me still loves what I thought she was, but I have lost all my respect and attraction for her. Its just that feeling of being close to someone for so long that continues to linger.

Man that stuff I wrote was disturbing. I was tempted to keep it as a painful reminder of what I became, but ended up getting rid of it.

 

[TheSlasher]

Heh. I thought that the reason why you almost wanted to keep them is for having some good laughs whenever you feel like it.

 

[MtnMan]

maybe i should have kept them, but my knee jerk reaction was almost illness, so I chucked them. I am already chuckling about them now.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Hey bruh I'm happy for you sincerely.

One thing I wanted to say though:

Its not luck, its your game.

ON FOWARD!

 

[LondonTowers]

LMAO.. this happened to me too mate, I checked an old email account where I had all these email drafts I was gonna send my ex when we broke up (luckily I never did).. the kind of **** I was writing shook me to the core! But then it's breaks ups that drive us men to find the knowledge we have here and you look back and think god damn I am lucky to have gone through that experience. Attachment takes a while to get out of your system, but that's fine, as long as your rational mind is back. NEVER become the emotional joke you found squirming in those letters.. I kept mine to remind me of how far I can fall!

 

[Jair213]

Haha same **** happen to me too, months ago.
I cringed and almost cried of anger.

 

[MtnMan]

Glad I posted this to see others have had such similar experiences. It seems like a different person was writing those things, and it really was a short time ago. I guess when I feel like I still have so much to learn, I can think back on that and realize how far I have already come.

It helps a lot that I have a girl coming over tonight for a dinner date (driving an hour on a friday night). She currently seems to have very high IL, and that helps smooth out the down.

LMAO.. this happened to me too mate, I checked an old email account where I had all these email drafts I was gonna send my ex when we broke up (luckily I never did).. the kind of **** I was writing shook me to the core!

Well put, for a moment there, reading through those things I was frozen. I wanted to stop reading, but made myself read all of them. It actually sped up my heart and caused me to feel flush. It really did shake me to my core for a couple hours. That feeling has passed, but wow. More powerful that I would have imagined. I am sort of glad I wrote that stuff down, even though it was embarrassing to read.