Wounds taken in the field (kinda funny)

[ikkenai]

Man, last night I was at a club that's traditionally known as the youngest spot in the city, filled with girls in the 18-20 range. I'm 23, and it's easy pickins'.

So I'm doing my thing, flirting, getting numbers, acting like I own the place, which I pretty much did.

Have you ever done the "Here, have this" routine? You finish your drink, and you go up to a girl and introduce yourself like you're going to shake her hand - but instead, you give her the empty drink. Breaks their frame, and is generally a good laugh.

So I'm walking, and I finish my beer. There were no hot girls around, but I hate to pass an opportunity to improve this gag. So there's this frumpy, acne-scarred broad 'A' and her obligatory trollish sidekick 'B', both obviously having taken the bus from the cheap part of town. I give the beer to 'A' and walk off to the nearest bar.

SHOCK AND GASPS RANG OUT behind me. I feel a empty bottle hit my back. I laugh and shrug it off, as I kind of saw it coming anyways. I mozy up to the bar to get another drink, and 'B' comes up and BLAH BLAH BLAHS in a cranky voice. WHY DID YOU DO THAT, THAT'S RUDE, YOU'RE A LOSER, WAAAH!! I give her some witty retort, and get a nice slap in the face. Ouch. My gut reaction as a man is respond to physical attacks from either gender is a punch to the face, but I showed the self-restraint that humorless ogres couldn't.

Man, I learned my lesson. Never even bother with ugly chicks. They're worthless. If you have good looks or game, you will WAY oversell yourself to these sour-faced hooches. They don't have any concept of "flirtation" unless the guy is on pulling AFC crap, and have eggshell-thin egos coupled with a love of making a spectacle (in hopes of generating the attention they are denied, and therefore so pathetically crave). Screw 'em.

 

[ikkenai]

in retrospect, I should've just knocked that fat sow to the canvas. thinking you can get away with anything just because you can cower behind the "you can't hit a girl" joke of a moral code.

(I'm not for hitting girls, but I hate girls that think they can do whatever without fear of reprisal)

 

[suikeisuru]

"obligatory trollish sidekick"

 

[frivolousz21]

the fat bytch hit u?

where do u live?!


u shoulda punched her in the stomach hard..see if she would hurral.

then say I coudnt tell if she was a ogre or a women

 

[ikkenai]

finally i agree with you about something

 

[frivolousz21]

im not as "sensative" or feminem as you think.

things ive said were said wrong or taken out of context.

we probably and surely agree on what attracts a women.

I probably have more faith in there are good women out there.

also could do with, what part of the world I live in

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
im not as "sensative" or feminem as you think.

Lady, you would make Richard Simmons cringe.

 

[frivolousz21]

Lady, you would make Richard Simmons cringe.

being a good person and being feminem are differnt things.


u cant let it go

 

[Dysfunctional]

This has got to be the funniest thing I've ever heard man :crackup: I HAVE to try this one sometime if I ever see an HB10 in the club.

 

[Tazman]

Am I missing something? If you hand her the drink then walk away how's she going to take it as a joke? Even after the other girl came up to you and asked why you did it, you say you just shrugged it off. Doing that to any girl would surely offend them if it isn't clear you're joking or you don't bother to laugh and take the empty glass back. Getting slapped in the face in public has to be humiliating.

 

[ikkenai]

Dude, they put their hand out to shake yours, as if you're introducing yourself. Instead of getting a hand shake, they get my empty glass.

UNEXPECTED STUFF = HUMOR

It's what some guy calls "****y and Funny," forget what his name was though.

 

[darth yoda]

They threw a bottle at you...you should've expected it to escalate when she got in your face.

You showed great self-restraint though, I don't know what I would've done.

But yeah, UGs aren't worth anything, just a waste of time.

 

[Tazman]

Dude, they put their hand out to shake yours, as if you're introducing yourself. Instead of getting a hand shake, they get my empty glass.

I understand how it works, but if you just walk away without taking the glass back I can see it becoming a bit insulting (unless you know the person I guess).

 

[locarius]

Any normal socially adjusted person would know it is a joke. I would have told her this right to her face, and explain "I've done that 100 times before and you are the first person not to get the joke. Congrats." She'll feel pretty stupid, and you'll keep face.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

Originally posted by locarius
Any normal socially adjusted person would know it is a joke. I would have told her this right to her face, and explain "I've done that 100 times before and you are the first person not to get the joke. Congrats." She'll feel pretty stupid, and you'll keep face.

Perfect way to recover right there

 

[C00L]

theres a difference though. If your a confident good looking guy doing it to a hb8+ then fine, its a good gag.

Doing it to blatantly unattractive girls comes off as *******ish and ****y, which you obviously knew since u said you expected the bottle to hit you in the back.

My point is you got what you had comin. Sure these were trolls but whatever, you did it to demean them and not to joke around with them in a flirtatious manner. That much is obvious.

 

[spiker]

so you go to shake with your right hand and the glass is in your left hand?, Thats gonna have to eb a pretty rapid transfer of glass to hand before she catches on what is happening!!!

I'm gonna practise this tho!
Its a classic!

 

[ikkenai]

It's explained a bit clearer when I heard it the first time, in Dave Deangelo's interview with Craig. Give it a try, I'm just making it soudn complicated.

I've been meaning to post for a while on this subject, because upon further reflection, it happens a lot. Younger girls, hot or otherwise, are totally f'd up by the cold approach, because they have had it so few times in their lives.

At university, I'll approach a girl and a friend with something (i hate to use this phrase) ****y and/or funny - like bopping them on the head with an empty water bottle, punching their arm, whatever. I start talking and they're like "Uh, do I know you?"

The cold approach just soars over the heads of sooo many girls, it's like they just saw an alien landing or something. It's as if they've never seen a pickup before, and their reaction is to go "What the hell," act weirded out, or get defensive.

Yeah, they're odd approaches, but mindbendingly effective. Furthermore, I wouldn't be doing them if I haven't had success with them! I put a lot of time into just being outgoing enough, not overselling, gauging my targets... I'm not just attacking people like some lunatic.

 

[spiker]

"Dave Deangelo's interview with Craig"

do you have the link for this?
I like your style mate!, and if it doesn't work at least ur out having a laugh and theres a comedy factor to it!

just brilliant!

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Yeah, these college chicks don't have any experience with people doing cold approaches on them, hot or not. I can just go talk to some girl who is walking near me or in my class and they will always be really surprised and by the way they act and talk, I can tell they have never done this sort of thing. It amazes me how many men in college are too pu-ssy to talk to the women around them, but I guess for me, that is a good thing. Like everyone on here already knows, most people hook up through parties and social circles, not by cold approaches, so that is the reason most women are caught off guard by it and don't understand it. I think this is good for the guys who do them, but you have to remember to keep your cool because the girl simply doesn't know what to do. David D claims that hot women are approached constantly, like 10 times a day or something stupid like that, but I think what he really means is that they are "hit on" maybe that many times, not directly approached. There just aren't enough brave men to do that. Whatever sells his stuff though right?

To the original poster, did you have friends or other girls you knew there?
This could have been a really good opportunity to make things even funnier. After being hit in the back by the glass, I would have grabbed my back and fallen to the floor, acting injured, saying, "oh shi-t, my back, my back, ahhh," haha, and then when the girl showed up I would have put my hands near my head to protect myself and pretended to be afraid of her like she was some kind of monster, telling her not to hurt me. If this doesn't get a laugh and show everyone you're a cool guy, I don't know what will.