"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Would you?

O

Onion

Don Juan
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Hello fellas, I am confused with this and need help. I am in a relationship with this girl and things are going well for us so far. Her IL is high and constant txt and call all happening.
Yesterday morning she decided to drive some 3 hrs to a beach in VA to spend quiet time by herself. After visiting the beach and doing things around town she spent the night in a hotel. She was at the local club drinking (a couple of beers) and socializing with the locals. Throughout the journey she kept in constant contact with me, video chatting, sending me pictures etc.

I was originally OK with the trip, but as the night progressed I begun to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing and questioned her. I felt she put me in a situation where I was in constant wonder of her motives and what may happen.

She went crazy!! She said I should allow her to have her own time (which I have no problem with) and that I don't trust her and this is coming from my insecurities. She said she loves me and she would never do anything to hurt me and cause issues in the relationship. We ended up having a massive argument and her questioning our suitability for a relationship. Mind you this is a girl I am hopping to take it to the next level. We have not spoken since last night.

What would you say to that? How best to handle this situation? Am I in the wrong here?

I really appreciate your help.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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G

G_Govan

Senior Don Juan
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Great replies but I actually think it's worse.

I believe she literally went out there and cheated on you.

1.)she decided to drive some 3 hrs to a beach in VA to spend quiet time by herself.

2.)she spent the night in a hotel.

3.)She was at the local club drinking (a couple of beers) and socializing with the locals.

4.)She said I should allow her to have her own time (which I have no problem with) and that I don't trust her and this is coming from my insecurities.

So "her own time" involves the beach (where guys will approach her), the club (where guys will approach her more aggressively) and drinking so she can loosen her inhibitions? She didn't even do this with friends/acquaintances which is quite odd for a woman, usually they need the company of others for these environments.
 
G

G_Govan

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Mauser96 said:
The thing is, if she wanted to cheat, she didn't have to travel 3 hours to do it. There is more to it.
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Absolutely, but given such little information it seems very plausible.

That "gut" feeling is rarely ever wrong.
 
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