Would you stick around with a Hot but Poor Chick?

[SomethingClever]

So i'm goin out with this 9er, but the thing is, her financial situation is bad and it kinda gets in the way of things, not to sound materialistic or anything. Whenever we go out, i usually have to pick up the bill. And when we do something that doesn't cost anything, she doesn't like it and *****es like crazy.

Like last night, we went to hookah, and her friend came along. I bought some weed, and i was almost out of money, and we already agreed that we were gonna split the bill. But then i find out they don't have the money, and we've already been served. They wanna dash. I don't want to because i'm a regular. What ends up happening is the 9er pays for more than half the bill, but with money that she's not supposed to spend.

I mean, it is possible she's taking me for a ride, but she's got it pretty bad. Like she's on food stamps, she kinda lives in the ghetto and her house is like crap. Like she doesn't have any heating and hot water.

So i don't know what to do. Should i drop her and look like a materialistic douche bag or should i stick with her and let her bleed me dry? Cause she's a very sweet and thoughtful girl. Like she does a lot of nice things for me and gets me presents out of nowhere. Sure they may be cheap and frivolous, but it's the thought that counts right?? I really don't know.

 

[Igetit!]

Well first of all: Don't smoke weed. Say no to drugs. Hee,hee.

Ok,let's see. My first question would be,Who asked who out? If you approached her and asked her out,then why would you complain about spending money on her? She was out just minding her own business,then all of the sudden,out of the blue,you stepped to her and asked her out. You initiated the first contact between the two of you,then you expect her to pay for you when you asked her out? Why is this even an issue in the first place if you like her? If she's trying to take advantage of you,then ok,I can see your point.

You asked if anyone would hang out with a hot,but poor chick,as if she CHOOSES to be poor or something. Obviously this girl likes you,I mean,you said that she's sweet,thoughtful,and gets you gifts out of nowhere. And you want to trade her in for what? A girl who's selfish,inconsiderate,but who has a lot of money?

 

[SomethingClever]

Yeah, i already know the whole inviter pays rule, and the thing is, doesn't that only apply on THE FIRST FEW DATES? I mean, we're kinda past that. I mean, I understand that just posting this thread already labels me as a materialistic douche bag, but i'm not Bill Gates, and i do have to pay bills just like everyone else. I just need help making a decision, because i do like the girl and it's more than just physical attraction. But these are hard times we're living in, and i'm just trying to be realistic.

 

[Aragon034]

To asnwer your question, yes, i'd dump her, but i'd never get into that situation in the first place because i make it a habit to date/hook up with women on my same financial standing.

It might sound materialistic, but dammit i like my hair thick, black and full, i don't want to loss it to grey and baldness THIS young with drama like that!

 

[Igetit!]

You're trying to be realistic? Well so am I. Didn't you say that this girl is on food stamps? Are you that bad off? I doubt it. What I don't understand is,if the two of you like each other,then what's the problem? Generally when dates are successful for both people,it's because of a connection between the two of them,not because of the activity of the date. In other words,it's the people involved that make the date work,not the movies,or bowling,or a nice restaurant,or wherever else you can think of.

Most men don't have this problem. When they first see a woman,it's her face or breasts,or figure that turns them on. I rarely hear of a guy looking at a woman and saying,"Man,look at the size of her purse! I bet she has a roll of cash stashed in there!"

Going by your logic,only rich people should date. But hey,if you want to dump her over money,be my guess. I'm just curious to know if you were happy with her and if everything was going fine up until you found out her financial situation,then you starting losing attraction for her.

 

[SomethingClever]

You guys both make compelling arguments. Igetit! makes sense. We do like each other, and money shouldn't be a problem if that's the case. I mean, it's not like i'm marrying her. But i can't help but think of that freecreditreport.com commercial where the guy marries his dream girl, but her credit was whack and they had to live in her parent's basement. That's a harsh reality some people wake up to everyday.

 

[Zhade]

This is really a decision you have to make (yeah, like you didn't know that! ). What I mean is that you need to weigh the costs and benefits and see if it works for you.

I find that her complaining about doing free, fun activities is a red flag. I can understand that the situation she lives in might leave her really envious for fancy things, but money only makes people happy in the short-term (there's actually been psychological research done on this. People only have a long-term increase in happiness with wealth going from below poverty level to being able to pay for their basic needs). She doesn't like going on walks with a park? Is she only happy on dates where you are spending money on her? Are you ok with this?

From your perspective, it comes down to this. Are you, personally, going to be happy paying for this girl's needs for as long as you remain in your relationship? Because that's probably not going to change.

 

[SomethingClever]

Yeah, see, that's the thing. I can't help but have this irksome feeling that she's taking me for a ride. But at the same time, i feel bad for having that paranoid feeling, because she doesn't seem like a gold digger. She really is a nice and thoughtful girl. I don't know, i'm leaning towards sticking with her, but i can't shake the feeling that this is somehow gonna end badly for me.

 

[In Motion]

Dude, dump her. She is NOT worth it.

Btw, I answered wrong on the poll. I assumed, the question was; Would you stick around with a Hot but Poor Chick?
So I answered No -_- But I guess you changed that.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Most of them don't want to work and they want a free ride. If you don't mind her living off your back, go ahead.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Dating a poor chick is fine. Spending money on her is fine as long she reciprocates in other ways (taking care of you however she can.)

However, as has already been mentioned, the fact that she bltches about doing free stuff is a definant cause for concern.

It seems like your main problem is worrying about being a douche for dumping her for her economic situation. Don't. It's fine to have standards for your girls. It's not about you being shallow or materialistic. It's about you being with someone worthy of you.

 

[OTB]

Dude, dump her. She is NOT worth it.

Btw, I answered wrong on the poll. I assumed, the question was; Would you stick around with a Hot but Poor Chick?
So I answered No -_- But I guess you changed that.

Yes, I must admit that the choices in this poll are quite confusing at first.....



The question being, "Would you stick around with a Hot but Poor Chick?

To only add to the confusion, the actual choices have the exact opposite meaning of the words at the beginning....


If you just left the choices of "Hell yeah" and "No", then it'd be much simpler

 

[DJDamage]

Why are you always feeding her then?! go out on other dates where money shouldn't be much of an issue.

As for your other question, you better believe that this girl is taking you for a ride. You are getting her accustomed to getting free sh1t without offering to pay and if she is that poor to begin with she should be working her ass off somewhere instead of having the time to go out on dates.

I just hope you ain't taking her to some fancy ass resturants. If you go out each time and pay for her food, you are going to end up being poor yourself. Take her to cheap fast food places, that should take care of some of the problems.

 

[SomethingClever]

Yeah, my bad on the options. I was kinda half asleep when i made this thread. But yeah, i'm probably gonna give her another shot. She called and apologized for "all the fuss".

Thanks for the input everyone.

 

[puma183]

Provided you don't marry her, why not?

 

[Asteconn]

If a poor girl expects me to pay constantly, I'd actually tell them to go forth and urinate. Especially so as I'm a full time student, and as such I have no money of my own. If she doesn't constantly expect me to pay, then that's fine.