Would you seek revenge if it fell in your lap?

[Thorninmyside]

Found out my ex SO's new guy is chatting up other girls on facebook and I have screen shots to prove it.

If you were me, would you ruin it for this dude by passing the info on? He did work on my fiancee after all and I feel that returning the favour would be fair to say the least.

I know a lot of you wouldn't bother, but be honest if you would. No moral high horsing please!

 

[TheException]

No....dont be pathetic.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Must be awesome having life **** down your throat and just being able to walk away. Thanks for not judging!

 

[asa_don]

No....dont be pathetic.

agreed.

why are youi even taking the time to take screen shots? bang chicks instead, you are too hung up on your ex with too much time on your hands.

 

[zekko]

Look, it doesn't seem like it now, but this guy did you a favor by showing you what an unfaithful woman your fiance was. You dodged a bullet by not marrying her. Better to find out now than after the ceremony.

The problem with revenge is that you are looking backwards when you should be looking to move on. I know that isn't easy sometimes but it's the healthiest thing to do. Besides, if this guy is the cheating type it's going to come back to bite the two of them soon enough, in its own time. Also, I'm not sure that talking to girls on Facebook is really evidence of anything. And even if it is, you're better off leaving the past in the past and doing what is best to improve your future fortunes.

 

[VikingKing]

That's retarded man. You have nothing better to do with your time? You care way to much. This will only make you look bad, and temporarily feel better, thne you feel like a jack @ss. Go find something constructive to do with your time.

 

[samspade]

Look, it doesn't seem like it now, but this guy did you a favor by showing you what an unfaithful woman your fiance was. You dodged a bullet by not marrying her. Better to find out now than after the ceremony.

The problem with revenge is that you are looking backwards when you should be looking to move on. I know that isn't easy sometimes but it's the healthiest thing to do. Besides, if this guy is the cheating type it's going to come back to bite the two of them soon enough, in its own time. Also, I'm not sure that talking to girls on Facebook is really evidence of anything. And even if it is, you're better off leaving the past in the past and doing what is best to improve your future fortunes.

^^This, and what the other posters said as well.

The temptation for revenge can be overwhelming when you feel you've been "wronged." These other people have to live with the consequences of their own actions. Believe it or not, you exposing something won't necessarily ruin anything and will only serve to make you look obsessive and pathetic. Move on!

 

[SSuaveSavior]

Why not?

Most on here preach that contacting your ex is weak and pathetic. Your ex is not an enemy, she is human and would benefit from this information - just as you would.

If you want 'revenge,' sleep with a lot of women, however, it does not always make you better off in the end.

 

[backseatjuan]

You would be giving her a favor by making her aware of this. If you want revenge conceal this fact and let it back fire by itself later down the road.

 

[Huffman]

If you really haaaaaaaaave to....

then don't contact her yourself. Maybe just leave some info where she will find it. Don't show that YOU did research on her relationship. That would look weak. Because it IS weak.

She will probably attack you anyway. Why'd you violate her privacy? Why you're still not over it? The whole thing will blow up in your face.

So, if you must have your revenge, sit and watch from afar. If you show your cards, you will look pathetic to everyone involved. She will tell her friends.

Don't **** it up even more.

 

[VladPatton]

Passing this opportunity to take revenge will be a great step in you moving forward, so don't even bother. Consider it a test of your fortitude. They'll eventually fück each other over naturally in time.

 

[HoneyHitter]

YOU think she'll regret gettin with this guy if you show her how he's cheating on her. But snitching on her new BF will only proof to her that her new BF is a REAL catch. Women don't think like men.

The best revenge is doing better for yourself. And completely forgetting about her.

 

[donking]

I guess I would disagree with the majority of the posters here. I enjoy righting wrongs that others have incurred have upon me. I take joys in this.

If it doesn't take too much effort, go for it. Just don't let it be something that could get back to you in the future.

It really depends on if you're doing it from a place of strength or weakness. If you are doing this to get back with her, then you're probably feeling weak. If you truly don't give a f, sure why not - especially if it costs you nothing but a few mouse clicks.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Good feedback guys. I'm considering everything written.

I'm not coming from a place of wanting to hurt my ex. We've been friends a long time and probably still will be, but if a douche is going to take her, at least take care of her and respect her, you know, dignify the fact that I played it nice because I wished for her happiness. Now I just think a little slice of justice should go this douche's way. I'm already getting back on the scene myself, clearing my head with the company of new ladies and that is a slow but steady part of moving on. That, and hitting the gym twice a day.

What I have on me is a bunch of screen shots from private messages telling a new facebook friend she is beautiful, telling her he's not seeing anyone serious, soliciting certain kinds of photos from her, her responding in kind etc.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Good feedback guys. I'm considering everything written.

I'm not coming from a place of wanting to hurt my ex. We've been friends a long time and probably still will be, but if a douche is going to take her, at least take care of her and respect her, you know, dignify the fact that I played it nice because I wished for her happiness. Now I just think a little slice of justice should go this douche's way. I'm already getting back on the scene myself, clearing my head with the company of new ladies and that is a slow but steady part of moving on. That, and hitting the gym twice a day.

What I have on me is a bunch of screen shots from private messages telling a new facebook friend she is beautiful, telling her he's not seeing anyone serious, soliciting certain kinds of photos from her, her responding in kind etc.

Sounds to me you are in a good healthy mindset. When you honestly wish your ex well and care for her happiness, you've moved on and found peace.

Reading this, makes it seem like perhaps you are trying to protect your ex, rather than get revenge on that guy. That is something to think about.

I don't have any advise, other than taking steps towards revenge is taking steps backwards in life, rather than moving forward.

However, if you deeply feel you need to protect your ex, that may be a different situation. Only you can decide that.

 

[Married Buried]

Do what you want to do. If you are still on talking terms with the slut, send her the damned screenpics. You know you want to, so do what you want.

I have done this before, I found out my ex BPD was banging a coke head. So I found his record on the court site and showed her, and she dumped him.

It doesn't matter man, it's an act of futility. She hopped on a different c/ck the next day. You can't win with this, she ain't coming back to YOU no matter what.

 

[zekko]

Just out of curiousity, how is it that you have access to this guy's private messages?

 

[Thorninmyside]

Just out of curiousity, how is it that you have access to this guy's private messages?

I was telling a friend about my ex and this guy, and the friend told me she new another girl he was tuning up on facebook, a friend of hers. So she got the friend to send me screen shots.

I am going to go against the rest here and say absolutely let her know. The guy sounds like a total douche.

It would be helpful however to better understand the circumstances of what happened before as there would be some cases where I would just walk away.

An ex of my girl wrote to her a couple of days before she broke up with me (which she told me about), but obviously the conversation led to them taking about having another go at it. They've been dysfunctional from the beginning and never made it work but obviously something (investment) pulls them back together in between their other relationships. I personally think they should let each other go find who they're supposed to be with but some people have to stick their hand in the fire more than others to knowing when they're getting burned.

We were best friends before falling in love. I still consider her that way but I'm going NC at the moment just for my own benefit.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Thanks Danger. I feel it's at least fair.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Thanks Danger. I feel it's at least fair.