Would you have a serious relationship with your OLD oneitis?

[Z Man]

This is a tough question:

The girl that lead me to ultimately find this website 10 years ago. I have dated several girls since then and I measured them all in my mind, using my oneitis as the standard of comparison. None of the other girls have quite measured up to her( or rather, the "fantasy" of the girl I made her out be to be in my mind ). I took her out on a date and only interacted with her on a handful of occasions after that but she rejected me, claiming she wasn't ready to date and "still needed to grow up". She was 19.

I couldn't handle that. And it drove me to this website, to David DeAngelo's snake oil products, and to immerse myself in several PUA theories and product offers. My whole reason to change myself was for her.

Fast forward to now. I have slowly changed my focus to improving my self, my character, and my goals in life, for ME, not for another person. I am a better, more mature person now than I was when I was trying to win her over.

And her? I have learned that she got married a few years after I went NC with her, to a guy a few years younger than her. He had heart problems and died about 2 years into marriage after a lengthly hospital stay. She has now been widowed for about 3 years.

Found her on Facebook a while back as I was also friends with her sister back then. She is still beautiful and sexy body and no kids at 30.

She STILL has not accepted my friend request on Facebook! LOL.

I keep reminding myself that she had her chance with me yet chose somebody else. Sigh. Win some, you lose some..

 

[bigneil]

Bigneil, what about love being about friendship and respect for another another person, to the point where you care about them enough to put their needs ahead of yours.

Sounds good in theory but chances are, even your mother and brother are not putting your needs above their own, nor are you theirs. Love is conditional.