Would you have a serious relationship with your OLD oneitis?

[bigneil]

Think of the second most recent girl you had oneitis for, one it took you months to get over. Probably from 2011 or 2010.

If she called you today, would you even consider having a long term relationship with her? Or are you completely over her to the point where she couldn't convince you if she tried?

I suspect the latter in a big way, which would prove what an illusion we fall under when we try to hold on to them.

 

[SoSuave666]

If you have been away for long enough I say do whatever you want. If you are in more control now than then, and feel as though you can handle it, go for it. The problem arises when you have backslid in the past. You never truly know her intentions. If she got a taste of you backsliding, she probably just wants some reassurance that she still has your balls. If she pushes for a relationship, she probably wants one with the beta you, not the new you. Just play it by ear I say. The real problem with relationships is that unless you are with your future wife, the relationship will end. SOMEONE has to end it (usually the female). Someone leaves with power, someone leaves with a busted up ego. Over time I believe someone's perception of you can change from beta to alpha or what have you. Everyone is entitled to mistakes...it just takes women a long time to change their perception. I believe in the thought that people deserve second chances too. If you are going to get back together with one, go in with the mind frame that this is THE second chance. Don't tell her, but know it in your own mind. If you go around shutting the door and closing the case on every chick that rejects you you will die a lonely man.

I also think there are more options than just the ones you give. Perhaps an option should read "I would consider a relationship - I'm over our past relationship though"

 

[konmai]

of course, the latter. the only reason i'd take her back was to phuck her, and she'd just be a memory of one of the girls i've phucked but was also once my crush. nice to put things in perspective i guess. girls you thought you'd never get over, you will. there are always lots of girls out there who are going to better than her.

seriously, there were maybe 2 girls i thought were "perfect". never thought any girl would surpass them in my eyes, but yet the next girl has always been better than the last. not sure if it's about me just being in a different stage of my life and having altering taste that sometimes goes along with it or if the girls are indeed, actually better than my previous ones. also, it could be that i've improved my game and am surrounded by more choices.

 

[bigneil]

I assume most if not all of us would still sleep with them, so that wasn't an option.

 

[SoSuave666]

It also depends on whether or not she was a tolerable oneitis. Was she awful to you? Toying with you? Or did she lay it out straight and tell you it couldn't be anything more than platonic and you went nuts anyway. Was she BPD? Lot's of different types of girls out there.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I would nail her just to get even with stats, no different than playing call of duty with a boring gun just to unlock the achievement.

I know it sounds childish but I believe in full honesty to be constructive here.
Dont get me wrong, I wouldnt do it out of rage or hate, simply to fill a hole in my record.

And of course that would repay my decrease of self-confidence after being friendzoned in the past with interests.

 

[konmai]

I assume most if not all of us would still sleep with them, so that wasn't an option.

somehow you must've glossed over my first few words.

 

[PDubb75]

Unfortunately, I'm still dealing with the oneitis. I had no choice but to answer yes, since I am still not over her.

Our breakup was because of distance, so if that were to change, I would go back for sure.

 

[comic_relief]

man, my first oneitis was almost 8 years ago (man, i've been here a long time). I barely remember what she was like or who she was. I talked to her recently and from what I gathered. She was unemployed or starting work at a rehab clinic, never left the state, and basically never grew up much at all. So I am happily not interested in her.

- comic_relief

 

[comic_relief]

oh but I would still sleep with her if given the chance!

- comic_relief

 

[Tryingtoimprove]

Relationship? Hell no. Why try and have a relationship with a girl who already rejected you and probably has memories of you acting like an unmanly b1tch over her? Talk about a an uphill battle and a great way to probably revert into your old self.

Unless the girls was:

A. Objectively off the charts awesome in the present and you still woulda gone wild over the chance to date her even if you had no past history together.

and

B. Clearly attracted to you in the present and in no way holding on to her perception of you in the past.

But this is highly unlikely as hell because as you improve, you meet better women, so if you truly have improved from your past self, you've probably met better women than her and she probably ain't worth your time.

 

[bigneil]

As you improve, you meet better women, so if you truly have improved from your past self, you've probably met better women than her and she probably ain't worth your time.

That's a key point to rejection is that it inspires a DJ to improve himself. What sucks is not getting a chance to show them how much you improved because they wrote you off permanently on your first slip-up.

 

[perseverance]

Not in a million years, I'm delighted I had the strength to boot her out for good after she came back twice.

I've moved on, she missed out, sucks to be her.

 

[bigneil]

"Love is the illusion that one c*nt is different than another."

 

[Leporello]

Nah, I saw her on Facebook not long ago and she hasn't aged well.

 

[perseverance]

"Love is the illusion that one c*nt is different than another."

I swear it was you who disagreed with me when I said that love doesn't exist?

 

[Cassify]

i definately would f*ck them just to thank for making me a new man
but there's no way in hell to enter in a serious relationship with them as ppl above stated

 

[bigneil]

I swear it was you who disagreed with me when I said that love doesn't exist?

Good memory. I have two definitions. The other being an intangible, emergent property of physical intimacy.

 

[DanDaMan]

Bigneil, what about love being about friendship and respect for another another person, to the point where you care about them enough to put their needs ahead of yours, and do not want to cause the other person pain? If two people mutually feel this way about each other, then cant you conclude that they both are in love with each other?

Don't be so cynical... Or else your reality will start to mould itself around your perspective. Lots of things in life are like in that movie Kingdom of Heaven or whatever it's called, the guy says "It means everything and nothing (at the same time)". which is it for you?

 

[juicywa]

im still not over my oneitis. so yes.