Would you date a poor woman?

[Deep Dish]

For me, no.

I’ve had people argue with me on this but, with (false) idealistic love concepts thrown out the window, let’s face the facts: poor people choose to be poor.

I don't care if someone grew up all poor, it's their choice they didn't make anything of themselves. I've met people who have gone from poorness to greatness, through hard work, and the last thing they will ever be found is complaining about the state of the world. You won't hear them indulging in conspiracy theories or how someone had just screwed them.

But in the world of the currently poor, everyone has just screwed them. Really, it's an unending drama. You quickly come to realize either they are the most unlucky person on this planet... or it's all their fault. And yes, it's their fault. They whine and bytch but ultimately it comes down to them: they suck with money and suffer in the motivation department. They blame everyone else for everything wrong in their life... except for them.

Look, I don't want to inherit someone's poor spending habits and I like keeping a mellow life. I don't want to drive someone all over town all the time. I don't want to continually deal with disconnected phone numbers or dialing some strange phone number because they mismanaged their phone. I don't want to be someone's lifeline to having a life. It suuuuuucks the life out of me.

They will say how "true friends" are "rare" and how people "stab them in the back", but really, they themselves cause the chaos and then blame people for retaliating or leaving. It's all summed up in my favorite lyrics by Fiona Apple: "You fondle my trigger and then you blame my gun."

A few weeks ago when I hung out with STR8UP, he said a classic line which is impossible to argue with: you can judge how someone by looking at their balance sheet.

Anyway, no, no poor women for me. I'm moving up in the world and can't, won't, have someone's poorness blow up in my face, which is always bound to happen. It's not being superficial, it's keeping it real.

 

[al77]

Don't you think it is all relative? Who is poor? One can be poor for you, but for somebody else she is ok.

If it happens you are quite rich - it is understandable you don't want a woman with different standards of life.
But if you are not rich, note that any woman (poor or not so poor) will suck most of your money anyway eventually. If she is poor, at least she will not suck too much of it. And if she is above avereage finance wise, she will demand a lifetsyle that you will have to provide for her. Where is the advatange of not dating poor women???

For me, no.
Look, I don't want to inherit someone's poor spending habits and I like keeping a mellow life. I don't want to drive someone all over town all the time. I don't want to continually deal with disconnected phone numbers or dialing some strange phone number because they mismanaged their phone. I don't want to be someone's lifeline to having a life. It suuuuuucks the life out of me.

They will say how "true friends" are "rare" and how people "stab them in the back", but really, they themselves cause the chaos and then blame people for retaliating or leaving. It's all summed up in my favorite lyrics by Fiona Apple: "You fondle my trigger and then you blame my gun."

A few weeks ago when I hung out with STR8UP, he said a classic line which is impossible to argue with: you can judge how someone by looking at their balance sheet.

Anyway, no, no poor women for me. I'm moving up in the world and can't, won't, have someone's poorness blow up in my face, which is always bound to happen. It's not being superficial, it's keeping it real.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Rich, poor, they all look the same upside down.

I'd use the same rule I do for 'professional women' - is she hot? Men don't care how much money a woman has, our what she does to earn it. It isn't status that attracts us, that's what attracts women; no, she's gotta be hot. An HB9 who knows how to turn it out is exceptional whether she's running a company or standing in the wellfare line.

You said dating, so I'm not making concessions for an LTR, that's a whole other situation. But if it comes down to a hot poor girl or an HB5 who's loaded, not many guys will be asking the poor one for her W-2 form before they hit it.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I'm with my man 'DISH here. Not only am I never going to allow myself to be a chicks VISA or Diners Club card, but her friggin' chauffeur either. Gas is getting expensive and I'm too lazy to keep stopping at gas stations rather than by them.

Chicks on WIC or other government programs may be nice as Mother Theresa but won't do anything to better herself or get her life in any discernable order has no place in mine.

 

[( . )( . )]

I dont "date" regardless but as usual I agree with Rollo, worrying about a chicks financial status is not something men do, its for chicks.

Poor? who cares I still wont be paying for her sh!t and she still has a snatch yes?.

 

[mcqueen207]

I had a LTR with a woman that made significantly less than I did. It was a real drag because she resented the fact that I could afford things that she couldn't.
Which basically led to her resenting me because she couldn't "keep up with me"
because I refused to eat tofu weiners and boxed macaroni and cheese. I wouldn't do it again.
I can relate to trying to get ahold of her..but couldn't because her phone got cut off.

 

[legolas]

No, but neither would I date a rich woman unless she had the right attitude. Like Mcqueen said, it'd be a drag.

I don't fully agree that poor people choose to be poor, unless you mean a choice at the subconscious level by accepting their situation. It's when you're fed up that the wheels in you head begin to turn.

 

[Deep Dish]

Yes, the question was dating, not merely fvck buddies. For fvck buddies and one nighters, absolutely, the only thing which ultimately matters to the male mind is is she hot and what microscopic organisms are crawling between her legs. Not about the state of her mental health or how clean she keeps her bathroom. But for dating, for those who choose, obviously if you don't pay attention to a woman's finances then it might chop off your dyck.

al77:
Don't you think it is all relative? Who is poor? One can be poor for you, but for somebody else she is ok.

If it happens you are quite rich - it is understandable you don't want a woman with different standards of life. But if you are not rich, note that any woman (poor or not so poor) will suck most of your money anyway eventually. If she is poor, at least she will not suck too much of it. And if she is above avereage finance wise, she will demand a lifetsyle that you will have to provide for her. Where is the advatange of not dating poor women???

I come from the middle class and with middle class women at least there is disposable income that she can help pay her way with, instead of everything on me. But dealing with poor women is literally like taking care of a child (but a bitter one who can recite conspiracy theories). You are correct, sir, rich women are not for me unless I ever reached that same level. I used to work in some restaurants which catered to rich people and I can't hold a candle to their lifestyle on a continual basis. I have millionaire relatives, I have slept in mansions, but surely dating a rich girl cannot be afforded on a middle class income without someone becoming bitter.

KarmaSutra:
Not only am I never going to allow myself to be a chicks VISA or Diners Club card, but her friggin' chauffeur either. Gas is getting expensive and I'm too lazy to keep stopping at gas stations rather than by them.

Classic!

djbr:
To answer the question of the thread, yes, I once did. The girl was slick but I did not let it go too far. But it was clear to me that she was making artificial value of herself in my eyes so she can hook me up. I could see the artificial pregnancy coming. It happened with my cousin and it was going to happen with me.

Interesting. The last poor girl I almost dated--high school dropout, no life, no job--was also very conniving. I didn't let it go far, either, mostly because I could sense the ulterior motives. If you told me she would pull that crap, I'd believe you.

This is so clear in my country. The actual president (who is indeed an idiot) did what he would love to. He raised the minimal wage, MANY assistence programs who literally GIVE money to the poor, so on. Do you see anyone climbing the ladder? Haha. Nice to see taxes' money being dropped on things such as alcohol.

Just to share, my current line of work happens to be determining welfare benefits to poor people and at least over here in the US there are tight restrictions on welfare. You can't use food stamps to buy beer or cigarettes and if you get caught buying food for someone else in exchange for cash, you'll get thrown into jail. Transactions are all electronic and so it's tricky to beat the system. It's also not enough money to get by with, making it difficult to justify using the precious money towards beer. And maybe that is why I almost never see homeless guys apply for aid. They don't want the responsibilities which come along with aid, like working at least 30 hours a week, and it's not beer money.

mcqueen207:
It was a real drag because she resented the fact that I could afford things that she couldn't. Which basically led to her resenting me because she couldn't "keep up with me" because I refused to eat tofu weiners and boxed macaroni and cheese. I wouldn't do it again. I can relate to trying to get ahold of her..but couldn't because her phone got cut off.

Amen!

 

[ElChoclo]

I know a guy who has been married twice and divorced twice. His first wife earnt a multiple of his income, and when he got laid off, he became the woman and started doing the cooking. She decided to have some extra home cooking in the workplace. Next marriage he proudly tells me when I ask what she does for a living, that "She's retired" I ask, "Christ, how old is she?" He says, "No she's wealthy." That one lasted 12 weeks.

Possible lesson, don't go for money women if the other qualities are missing. Other possible lesson, forget the money. There were no luxury goods when evolution hardwired human brains, so the chances of it being a vital dietary ingredient are negligible.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Dating=Fvcking in my book. If you define this as LTR then that's a different story. I would certainly keep the socio-economic status of a woman as a modifier for any potential long-term prospect, but only so far as it bnefits a guys own protection.

Here's what I mean; Credit card debit is at an all time high in this country. More than 80% of Americans are $12K or more in debt with at least one credit source. Combine this with the fact that women are accepted as the primary consumer in the U.S. and you can see where I'm going with this. Statistically, women are consistently more marketed to and their first experience with credit expenditures is during their college years, 18-25. Anyone who's been to college in the last 10 years can attest to how aggressively credit companies market, and outright pander to students on campus. By the time a woman graduates from a 4 year program she, on average, will have accrued $8K-$10K in credit debt.

Now, lets take this a step further and introduce divorce law practices. In most states divorce standards consider ALL assets and debt liabilities to be the joint responsibilities of BOTH parties as shared. So the short version of this is that you, as her husband or her ex-husband are responsible for at least half of her debt load by signing your name on the marriage contract. Meaning, as her husband or ex-husband, you are essentially co-signing the agreement she made with VISA, Mastercard or American Express so she could fvck that hot guy in Cancun on Spring Break in the Foam Party, or help fund that hot little lingerie outfit she bought on the card at Victoria's Secret in her junior year in to turn on that old "Jerk Boyfriend" she told you was so terrible, but really pines for.

That's gratuitous I know, but not too far from the mark. I should also add that her student loans are also "community debt" in the event of divorce. And divorce would be a relief in this sense since you will undoubtedly be expected to jointly pay more as her husband than what you'd be required by law to pay in debt resolution and spousal support.

I can name at least 2 fellows I've counseled who make it a practice to do a credit check on women they consider LTR potential. This is a very cheap and discreet way of putting a woman into a nuts & bolts, "numbers" perspective. How much more leverage would you have in your personal relationships if you knew what financial predicaments a woman was facing? Think of the covert advantages this would give you? And it's dirt simple to do - many sites offer this as part of an overall background check package for a meager $40 (the price of a date?).

 

[Desdinova]

I have to agree with Rollo that if you're just dating the woman, who gives a fvck about her financial status?

However, if you're keeping an open mind for a future LTR, that's a bit of a different story.

Poor with no effort: The woman doesn't try to make anything of herself, and wastes her money on crap instead of paying bills. She'll waste your money on crap too.

Poor with effort: The woman has a job, but not a well paying one. She works to pay the bills, but the standard of living takes it's toll on her. These women are money-conscious, and won't waste their money on useless crap. Likewise, they won't waste your money on useless crap.

Rich Women: I have no fvcking clue since rich women are a turn-off with their lavish lifestyles. However, I've seen ones that are "rich" because they get their money from their parents, boyfriends, guy friends, etc.

I, myself was raised in a poor home because my father was a drunk and a gambler, although he made good money. Through his lousy example, I worked at using my money wisely. I've been poor, but I also had all my bills paid. I worked at protecting my line of credit. I'm now at a point in my life where I'm fairly happy with my financial status, although I'd like to further my success.

Remember, there's always two sides of the same coin.

 

[Big Pappy]

don't forget to be a man

Ah, to date a poor woman. I like to "date" them. A poor woman generally has a vastly superior understanding of the value of a dollar.

Is her lack of means her own fault? Of course it is. However, let's be honest. Many of us are at different stages of our own lives. One fellow owns his own home, the other rents, another lives with his parents.

I live on a boat! A 1967 38' Chris Craft Commander. Not much space, but my free time after work is vastly more than someone with a house. And my monthly expenses are just a fraction as well. This way, I'm able to save more money, and invest it in a diverse way, spreading my risk, and letting more of my hard earned money work for me.

Think the gal that goes with her beau every friday knows that I bank 60% of my pay? I'm driving a Nissan Altima, 2002 - paid for already, because my monthly expenses are low.

I don't care what others think about my bank balance. I am closing on a house in 11 days. And I'm going to rent the house out to pay the note, plus a little extra.

Don't mistake a poor woman for a stupid woman. And don't mistake a wealthy one for one who's disciplined and wise in matters of money.

For a casual evening out - who really cares? It's all about whether or not you two can laugh and enjoy an evening together.

For long term romance, the factors that determine long term romance success are not always apparent, this is why you date the same one more often, to learn more, only by letting her speak more of herself, in her effort to get you to say more.

We don't talk that much, about us. We prefer to show them what we are about.

Making assessments about a girls wealth, that's all fine and dandy if you have very little yourself. And if you do, and you've worked for it, I suspect that qualities that enable a gal to be poor are what will send you screaming for the hills, not the size of her wallet.

 

[Desdinova]

Don't mistake a poor woman for a stupid woman. And don't mistake a wealthy one for one who's disciplined and wise in matters of money.

Very well said

 

[KarmaSutra]

People tend to think being poor is a state of mind. It's not. It's a complete lack of discipline on his/her part. Just like any other junkie, the need to spend that last nickel burning like fire in the pocket, is another form of dependence.

I've always had respect for my money and the work it took to accumulate it. That respect then becomes a state of mind.

 

[al77]

Now, lets take this a step further and introduce divorce law practices. In most states divorce standards consider ALL assets and debt liabilities to be the joint responsibilities of BOTH parties as shared. So the short version of this is that you, as her husband or her ex-husband are responsible for at least half of her debt load by signing your name on the marriage contract.

So if you have an account in your name (not a joint account) with some savings, in case of divorce a court will make her entitled to a half of your money in your own account???...
...at least this is not happening when we hear news: no rich guy is paying his ex half of what he has.

 

[STR8UP]

For a casual thing it doesn't matter at all.

The 20 yr old that I have been hooking up with has no money and doesnt even have a job to be able to make money anytime soon. The 33 yr old I have been seeing is polar opposite. Good job, big house, nice car, and money to spare. I haven't spent a penny more on either one of them than they have spent on me, so it doesn't matter.

If I were considering a girl for a long term thing, it doesn't matter if she is rich or poor but it DOES matter 100% what kind of attitude she has about money. If she doesn't have any money at the time but I can see that she is moving in the right direction I am willing to give it a chance. On the other hand even if she appears to be rich, if she doesn't show good judgement with money, I'm outa there.

 

[Hitman10000]

I commend your honesty Deep Dish, albeit a poor selfish reason fed with possible bad relationships of "poor women" you've had relationships with. I've dated poor women, and the way I see it is if they have an eye for the bargain/deal/the right fair prices then they're game for me. They know the value of the dollar and know when it's unfair to another person.

Then there are the poor women who are really immature money hungry witches. They're like gold diggers, infact they are gold diggers inside and out. They were either pampered when as a child given the world to them by their lackluster fathers or they didn't get everything in the world but now want everything and they use their body to achieve that goal. These are the type of women you want to stay away from. But do give credit to the women who penny pinch or enjoy doing "free" things, they could if they wanted to make you pay and they know you would especially if you had a weak backbone. My own mother knew the value of the dollar and instilled those values in me, I look for women who have similar values and I tend to get along with those women. I never got along with the more materialistic capitalist worshipping breded women though, not much of a loss really because there are a lot of smart women around.

 

[penkitten]

Then there are the poor women who are really immature money hungry witches. They're like gold diggers, infact they are gold diggers inside and out. They were either pampered when as a child given the world to them by their lackluster fathers or they didn't get everything in the world but now want everything and they use their body to achieve that goal. These are the type of women you want to stay away from. But do give credit to the women who penny pinch or enjoy doing "free" things, they could if they wanted to make you pay and they know you would especially if you had a weak backbone. My own mother knew the value of the dollar and instilled those values in me, I look for women who have similar values and I tend to get along with those women. I never got along with the more materialistic capitalist worshipping breded women though, not much of a loss really because there are a lot of smart women around.

funny how i thought most of the more wealthy women were more of the really immature money hungry witches.
dont ever under estimate someone who has nothing and yet can get a meal on the table and never bounce a check.

 

[KarmaSutra]

For a casual thing it doesn't matter at all.

The 20 yr old that I have been hooking up with has no money and doesnt even have a job to be able to make money anytime soon. The 33 yr old I have been seeing is polar opposite. Good job, big house, nice car, and money to spare. I haven't spent a penny more on either one of them than they have spent on me, so it doesn't matter.

If I were considering a girl for a long term thing, it doesn't matter if she is rich or poor but it DOES matter 100% what kind of attitude she has about money. If she doesn't have any money at the time but I can see that she is moving in the right direction I am willing to give it a chance. On the other hand even if she appears to be rich, if she doesn't show good judgement with money, I'm outa there.

Spot on

Good to see you back brother.

 

[Heretolearn]

So if you have an account in your name (not a joint account) with some savings, in case of divorce a court will make her entitled to a half of your money in your own account???...
...at least this is not happening when we hear news: no rich guy is paying his ex half of what he has.

That is the law in Australia.