"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Would You Consider This Disrespect?

soulforge

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That would only emphasise how disrespectful you thought she was. I would most definitively have walked, there's always some way to get home. I would rather have a difficult time with transport than to stay in the same house as a bitch.

In this instance you would have walked away, and left her even tho it was Christmas Day? Seriously..
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Billtx49

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In this instance you would have walked away, and left her even tho it was Christmas Day? Seriously..
She turned that day into crap for you and you have that amount of concern for her ?
 
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soulforge

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She turned that day to crap for you and you have that amount of concern for her.…

If I had a choice that day.. i would have left.. its hard when you have made plans on Christmas Day.. family friends etc etc..

But yes looking back now, leaving no matter what, was the best option..

Thanks to SS i realise now, that NO amount of chit should ever be tolerated..

If they treat you poorly.. give them the gift of missing you.
 

Serenity

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In this instance you would have walked away, and left her even tho it was Christmas Day? Seriously..
No day is valid as justification to be a bitch, so yes seriously. Again it would emphasise just how much of a bitch she was for you to walk away from Christmas. As you think it's crazy to walk away then, so does most other people and probably her too. Which makes them realize just how shitty they were for you to walk away, despite it being a "special" day.

Christmas isn't free-pass-to-be-a-bitch-without-consequences day.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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soulforge

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No day is valid as justification to be a bitch, so yes seriously. Again it would emphasise just how much of a bitch she was for you to walk away from Christmas. As you think it's crazy to walk away then, so does most other people and probably her too. Which makes them realize just how shitty they were for you to walk away, despite it being a "special" day.

Christmas isn't free-pass-to-be-a-bitch-without-consequences day.

Just to be clear, do you mean walking away for good? Or just to teach her a lesson?? Soft Next

Because she had already had once chance from me when she previously disrespected me at the early stage of dating.. and again it was in public.

I think walking away was harder for me, as we had moved in together.. living together etc etc..

So walking away alone would not had been enough.. I would have had to also tell her to pack her chit and move out.

Since the day of the Christmas incident, it was an awakening for me and a realisation that I was dealing with a very chitty and un sympathetic person..

Not only would she behave in a rude manner, but would also be very dismissive of my feelings and accept zero responsibility!

Either way.. I dumped her only 3 weeks after Christmas.. the result is still the same... me and her are over..

Whats shocking is.. she actually believes that it was me who treated her poorly..
 

Billtx49

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Whats shocking is.. she actually believes that it was me who treated her poorly..
No shock there, it's your fault so she can feel good about herself. As a side effect, it also enables her to keep dishing out her sh/tty behavior.
 
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Billtx49

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Lol what a serious C@NT
Women are all about how they feel, about men, other women, kids, pets, and themselves. Of course if they are emotionally unstable, then the over the top sh/t can hit the fan with anyone at any time.
 
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ubercat

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Mate it's never easy they r the storm you are the rock. That's how it has to be. My girlfriend was sick so last night I took around soup and meds. And of course she brought up the fight the other night. Basically she wanted me to explain my actions and apologize. I told her no wrong = no apology. I did explain and then told her that was her last explanation ever. That she is my girlfriend not my boss and I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

Now I normally I would have just conveyed that covertly I made allowances because she was sick and English isn't her first language.

Of course she cracked out again but you just can't give them control. It's bad for you and it's bad for them because the secret is they don't want it.

She's generally a very good girl but if it ends so be it. I'll compromise on a lot of things but not my self respect.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Serenity

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Just to be clear, do you mean walking away for good? Or just to teach her a lesson?? Soft Next
I'm the type that walks and see what happens. If she continues being shitty, blaming me etc. then I'd say it's over and stay away.

If she later apologises, she understands what she did, why it was wrong and I believe her then I would forgive. There's no forgiveness for repeated offenses though. In your case I had probably walked away (given transportation options) and told her to pack her shit and move out the next time we spoke.
 

soulforge

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I'm the type that walks and see what happens. If she continues being shitty, blaming me etc. then I'd say it's over and stay away.

If she later apologises, she understands what she did, why it was wrong and I believe her then I would forgive. There's no forgiveness for repeated offenses though. In your case I had probably walked away (given transportation options) and told her to pack her shit and move out the next time we spoke.

There was zero acceptence of wrong doing, infact she completely blamed me... also there had been previous incidence too.

One serious one, where I dumped her.. but caved in after weeks of texting from her..

Then another incident where she asked me to help her dig out her garden, which took hours.. I took lots of items to the scrap yard for her, my back was pretty bad that day too..

Spent maybe 5 hours or so helping her out.. I later asked her to drop me off in her car to the town centre so i could do some shopping.

She rudely snaps.. No i won't be.. go get a bus!

Thats the appreciation I got.. the thing is I didn't even mind if she didn't want to drive me into town.. thats okay

But why be so fuking rude about.. why not just speak with some fuking decency..

I told her to fuk off after that.. didn't lift a finger for her.. just told her she can sort her own garden out from here on.

But yes dumping a chick like this is the only option.. unless you want to lose all self respect and dignity.
 

soulforge

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Mate it's never easy they r the storm you are the rock. That's how it has to be. My girlfriend was sick so last night I took around soup and meds. And of course she brought up the fight the other night. Basically she wanted me to explain my actions and apologize. I told her no wrong = no apology. I did explain and then told her that was her last explanation ever. That she is my girlfriend not my boss and I don't have to justify myself to anyone.

Now I normally I would have just conveyed that covertly I made allowances because she was sick and English isn't her first language.

Of course she cracked out again but you just can't give them control. It's bad for you and it's bad for them because the secret is they don't want it.

She's generally a very good girl but if it ends so be it. I'll compromise on a lot of things but not my self respect.
You shouldn't apologise if you did no wrong man.. don't be manipulated into doing so..

I only once accepted wrong doing to my ex.. when I shouted at her, because of her ****ty attitude...

I later regreted admiting wrong doing, as it was her chitty provoked me to get angry.. its better to walk away, than to get angry with a chick..

Anyhow, keep your frame.. hopefully she will back the fuk down!
 

dustmuffin

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Just to be clear, do you mean walking away for good? Or just to teach her a lesson?? Soft Next

Because she had already had once chance from me when she previously disrespected me at the early stage of dating.. and again it was in public.

I think walking away was harder for me, as we had moved in together.. living together etc etc..

So walking away alone would not had been enough.. I would have had to also tell her to pack her chit and move out.

Since the day of the Christmas incident, it was an awakening for me and a realisation that I was dealing with a very chitty and un sympathetic person..

Not only would she behave in a rude manner, but would also be very dismissive of my feelings and accept zero responsibility!

Either way.. I dumped her only 3 weeks after Christmas.. the result is still the same... me and her are over..

Whats shocking is.. she actually believes that it was me who treated her poorly..
Don't be hard on yourself. You learned a good lesson and will act differently in the future.
 

Reykhel

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She disrespected you because you don't fully respect yourself.

Being with her demonstrated that and she felt it like an undercurrent. She's old with two scummy teenage kids and
she felt condescended that you lowered your standards to be with her. She resented you for it.

She resented you for hoping on a train and traveling one fvcking hour after work to spend time with her and her scummy daughters and
two random lads that probably filled her orifices before you arrived.

She disrespected you because you're frame was never strong enough with her. How could it ever be, you entered into a ltr with her instead
of allocating her the role of "the old slag who sometimes svcks me off when I've drunk too much Old English cider mixed with fosters".

If your frame had of being strong enough you would have retorted back something like "where's your fvcking money? you invited me didn't you. "

You've got to let her know..."this doggy bites back, bytch"
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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soulforge

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She disrespected you because you don't fully respect yourself.

Being with her demonstrated that and she felt it like an undercurrent. She's old with two scummy teenage kids and
she felt condescended that you lowered your standards to be with her. She resented you for it.

She resented you for hoping on a train and traveling one fvcking hour after work to spend time with her and her scummy daughters and
two random lads that probably filled her orifices before you arrived.

She disrespected you because you're frame was never strong enough with her. How could it ever be, you entered into a ltr with her instead
of allocating her the role of "the old slag who sometimes svcks me off when I've drunk too much Old English cider mixed with fosters".

If your frame had of being strong enough you would have retorted back something like "where's your fvcking money? you invited me didn't you. "

You've got to let her know..."this doggy bites back, bytch"

Lol let me tell you.. I never let that bish get away with anything..


The first time she disrespected me, I dumped her..

When she disrespected me on Christmas... I called her out on that Chit.. I let her know she was out of fuking order..

Then 3 weeks later I dumped her ass, and blocked her out..

I was in a 18 month relationship with her, so spending Christmas together would not be considered as unusual..

Where I would FULLY agree with you is this..

There was many red flags with this chick from day one..

She should only ever had been a fuk buddy and nothing more..

She had already proved to be pretty worthless as a GF
 
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