"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Would you consider a date with a lady who lives in the same building as your ex LTR?

RickTheToad

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That's the situation. I've been here before and chickened out. She lives in four building complex and a lady previously messaged me, but I stayed away. Another lady wants to meet up and it seems she lives in the same complex. It's not that I am afraid of my LTR ex, it's just it will throw me way off my center with her looking on; should we run into each other. BTW, the lady is way better looking and younger. I've done my best to stay clear from her when I am in her city. It was a really bad break. More for her than me.

This has happened before to me. I've never had a good peaceful breakup, and the last time this happened, the ex made a huge scene.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Desdinova

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That's why you make the first move when you see your ex. Greet her, be pleasant, be confident, and then give her a pleasant farewell. You steal away the power when you make the first move. She will hate you when you're not around, but if you're holding the power in person, she won't say a fvcking word.
 
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Would I make a move? If I wanted her, yes. Would I hesitate? No. But then I also know that the ex would then also want me as well after that.
There might be some holes in your concept and definition of hypergamy.
That gives you two spinning plates. For all YOU know, your ex has mentioned some interesting things to this new woman and now she wants you.
 

RickTheToad

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That's why you make the first move when you see your ex. Greet her, be pleasant, be confident, and then give her a pleasant farewell. You steal away the power when you make the first move. She will hate you when you're not around, but if you're holding the power in person, she won't say a fvcking word.
We're first going to meet the next town over and proceed from there. I get what you are saying, but if I'd even approach, she'd problem go into a rage. I know it's going to happen eventually, just still not mentally there.

Would I make a move? If I wanted her, yes. Would I hesitate? No. But then I also know that the ex would then also want me as well after that.
There might be some holes in your concept and definition of hypergamy.
That gives you two spinning plates. For all YOU know, your ex has mentioned some interesting things to this new woman and now she wants you.
No chance with the ex. We were going to get married and then things broke down bad during the engagement period. I woke up and kicked her out, ended the relationship and never reached out again; nor did she. I've purposely stayed away from her and our main hang out joints so I'd stay far away from her. Now, this one is not only in her city, but in one of the buildings she lives in.

I'm just going to to step by step. Might as well go into the belly of the beast and get over with it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Billtx49

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If they know of each other, passing acquaintances or better, it’s a definite no. Even if they’re not, if the Ex sees you there with the new girl, things could turn nasty very quickly.
Keep separation between your women unless you’re looking for some potential unnecessary drama in your life…
 
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RickTheToad

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If they know of each other, passing acquaintances or better, it’s a definite no. Even if they’re not, if the Ex sees you there with the new girl, things could turn nasty very quickly.
Keep separation between your women unless you’re looking for some potential unnecessary drama in your life…
I do not even go to the same places as my ex when I am in the cities in which she works or resides. It was a very bad break.

This one asked for a raincheck as she's still traveling for business. She owns her own company or something. She was in Hartford one day, then Boston, now supposedly Chicago. I just said we'll reschedule when you get back. Never heard back. I'd be amazed if I hear from her. I have supposedly two others I meeting up with. One is the attractive lady I posted prior and the other is another one who has some decent pics, but one that is't the most flattering. So, I am a bit wishy washy on her. Whatever happens, happens. Not sweating it. At least I get some practice.
 

Alvafe

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dude I wouldn't even care even if its was the girl sister, worse with can happen is nothing happen, teh best the jealousy of the other will push the new girl faster to you since she will see some competition.

if is like you said a bad break up(meh moot point break up is break up don't matter if "good" or "bad") even more reason to not care, I will repeat what I alwyas says, the ex part means she is not your problem anymore, you shouldn't give a flying fuc!< about what she thinks
 

IKO69

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It would maybe be worth for it for the potential jealousy that would ensue. Guys commonly fight over chicks, lets reverse the roles for a change.
 

speed dawg

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I would probably do it just for the entertainment value. Just be careful and keep yourself out of harm's way. I'd probably physically stay away from that building. Have her meet you at a hotel or something.

Now, if you can't handle that because of lingering feelings or some AFCness going on.....don't do it. You'll get eaten alive.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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RickTheToad

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It was okay. She didn't really look like her pics in real life. Happened with the other one too. Not sure why ladies use pics that do not look at all like them.
 

Billtx49

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Not sure why ladies use pics that do not look at all like them.
It’s called bait and switch. A common retailing tactic used by sleazy retailers to get a sale once they have you in the door after the hot advertised deal got you there …
 
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RickTheToad

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It’s called bait and switch. A common retailing tactic used by sleazy retailers to get a sale once they have you in the door after the hot advertised deal got you there …
Yea, but don't they know you'll notice they do not look like their pics when you meet them? I shouldn't have to pity a lady I just met in real life. There has to be ladies with some sort of clue or direction in life. No?
 

Billtx49

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Yea, but don't they know you'll notice they do not look like their pics when you meet them?
Ha, you’re supposed to fall for her personality … It’s how many women with declining looks and/or excessive weight gain think, and it’s not logical or based on physical attraction…
 
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RickTheToad

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Ha, you’re supposed to fall for her personality … It’s how many women with declining looks and/or excessive weight gain think, and it’s not logical or based on physical attraction…
Logic and sex appeal are not the same. Most men, at least desirable and high value men, I think need to build an attraction first to the lady and then build an attraction to their personality. However, many of their personalities seem bland and boring. Listen, I work with animals, so I do not live the most glamorous life, however, I saw this book editor for drinks who works from home. Buttaface too, but smoking body. She was the one who gave me a quick peck on the lips. Did really nothing. Boring life didn't have many activities. If you look at her pics, she looks kinda like an airhead. So, I was surprised to learn she was a book editor. We had a fluid conversation, but she was so pro feminist, it was a big turn-off for me. Never heard from her again. However, usually from ladies who are interested, they at least text they had a good time. Nothing. I'm past the age of running after ladies. I have no problem doing the work, but it seems many of them just expect men to do everything and all they have to do is grace us with their presence. I've tried the going dutch, never works. So, I limit each first date to a drink and an app. Max expense, 25 bucks. Still seems like it's throwing money out the window most times.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DEEZEDBRAH

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I would pursue especially if she's younger, thinner, and attractive. Its almost as good as sex running into a train wreck from my past in the company of top form SMV.
 

Poonstra

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Yea, but don't they know you'll notice they do not look like their pics when you meet them?
The amount of times that a girl 25 pounds heavier than her pictures showed up can't be counted on my two hands.
 

RickTheToad

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The amount of times that a girl 25 pounds heavier than her pictures showed up can't be counted on my two hands.
It's a bit nuts that they think we'd not notice the difference. The weight on her was fine, it's just the pics were no where near what her skin looked like. She was tan and tight skinned in the pics, pale and wrinkly skin in real life. I just wasn't attracted. I tried, but if my willey doesn't move best to not waste any time and skip.
 
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