Would you be mad if....

[The Cynical Man]

F*CK NO!

Really now, just think about it!

Dude, if you let her do this, you just bought yourself a ticket to loser-land, and you can kiss your respect level down the drain.

Give her the ultimatim:

She stays and gets to keep you.
She goes and you're moving on.

PERIOD.

If she can't accept that, then it's HASTA LA BYE-BYE, B!TCH!

WHAT ABOUT WHAT *YOU* WANT!!!!!!!!!????????

 

[The_Fire]

hey man...just let her go...i think she will have more respect w/ u if u let her go...and it has only been 4 months man..

if she cheats on u then just say bye bye..

shes not the end of the world...there are plenty more woman out there

but it is up to u..

just be a man

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"Life is too important to be taken seriously"

Fire

 

[Rico]

I'm finally a fukkin Master Don Juan! Hellz Yeah!!!

Well bro, I think you've got your answer.
Perhaps the question should better be posed this way. If a girl that was a friend of yours asked you to Hawaii to be her "companion" and you were involved in a relationship with this other girl for 4 mos. would you go (against your girlfriend's will at that)? Better yet, would you expect to come back and find yourself with a girlfriend?

It's completely disrespectful for her to ask this of you. Tell her your feelings and if she can't deal, then tell her that there's no deal between you two!

[This message has been edited by Rico (edited 05-15-2001).]

 

[UnimagnbleBstard]

Whatever happened to trust?..

Women is what happened to trust.


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BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)

 

[Neophyte]

Didn't tell you what i should do:

Personally i wouldn't let her go! Hell no!
If she's really feeling that much in love with you, she won't go. She'd realize she is giving you a really hard time.

But this is just my point of view...

CYA and hope this helps.



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Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined!

 

[Shackmaster]

Damn Women!!!
When they don't like you as much anymore for no reason whatsoever, (which happens most of the time) then they stray, and let the other boys play.

Obviously, she's getting a little bored, so she's looking for another boy-toy to have fun with. ANY guy and girl going to Hawaii together for a week obviously wanna screw, I would too.

 

[maranathaman]

I agree with Soldier and the others of his type opinion. The fact that she would even consider this is a good reason for you to Dump Her! She disrepects you, and doesn't mind that she's risking your relationship by doing this. So the best thing you can do is turn the tables on her and say "hasta la vista baby! You're history!" Then maybe she'll wake-up and realize what she's losing, but then really, is she the kind of woman you can trust, and want to be with? You deserve better.
~Andy

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“Patience is a virtue I do not have time for.”

 

[richevalenz]

Dude, its already over. Let her go, move on. It happened to me a few years ago. I don't think my girlfriend cheated on me then, I'll never know for sure but she went...against my wishes. She wrote me postcards, called, etc... She was in the travel industry so it wasn't that far off of normal to go on lots of trips but it did'nt sit well with me. When she got back, she started wanting to go out with her girlfriends, then we started fighting, then she was down the road. Beat her to the punch and tell her to go ahead, have a good time. Don't let her disrespect you man. If she goes, she's done. I'd book a trip and take another girl you want to get to know better and suprise her with that when she gets back.

 

[Deagleclaw]

Are you sh*ttin' me? You don't know what to do? I'll tell you what your situation is.

A) A company trip and he can bring a guest: He stipulates MUST BE FEMALE. He's a lying bastard.

B) Any guy going on a trip will invite someone he wants to score with over any of his best friends. He wants her.

C) This guy is trying to mack your girl.

D) Challenge Guy is an idiot for even suggesting that letting her go is "Being a man".

You need Put your foot down hard. Let her know that if she goes, you won't be around when she gets back. It's something you DO NOT DO. She might have no intention of cheating on you, but that's not the point. The point is, the other guy DOES have intentions beyond friendship. Ask yourself, if you were in a similar situation, you have an extra ticket to Maui. You could ask any of your friends, let's say you're BEST Friends with a girl that's around a 6/10. But you're good friends with another girl that's a 9/10. Who are you going to invite along, and why? Exactly. I'd suggest having a talk with this f*cker and let him know that if he pushes it he's going to find himself chained to a bed in a cheap motel and a big black man in a crotchless batman suit is gonna rape him over and over while he squeals like a little girl in a blender.

If she goes with him, she's gonna f*ck him. Then give you the, "We were drunk, it just sort of happened, it didn't mean anything... any of the 18 times we did it, honest" speech.

You could always pull a total Deagler maneuver if you want to really screw this guy over... Tell her she can go, she'll tell the guy, the guy will blow his load. Then buy yourself a ticket and make it a threesome.... oh but there's only 2 beds in a hotel room... F*ck her hard while he's in the room!
Deagleclaw out.


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No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)

 

[Monkey]

Originally posted by Deagleclaw:
She might have no intention of cheating on you, but that's not the point. The point is, the other guy DOES have intentions beyond friendship.

EXACTLY! If shes not smart enough to realise that this would make you uncomfortable then shes a selfish B!TCH and needs to be dropped RIGHT NOW!

I'd suggest having a talk with this f*cker and let him know that if he pushes it he's going to find himself chained to a bed in a cheap motel and a big black man in a crotchless batman suit is gonna rape him over and over while he squeals like a little girl in a blender.

LMFAO

Tell her she can go, she'll tell the guy, the guy will blow his load. Then buy yourself a ticket and make it a threesome.... oh but there's only 2 beds in a hotel room... F*ck her hard while he's in the room.

Nice idea but the point is if shes made up her mind to go then shes a LOSER and NOT WORTH ANYMORE EFFORT!


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'You know women mate, like monkeys they are, won't let go of one branch till they get a grip on the next.'

[This message has been edited by Monkey (edited 05-16-2001).]

 

[DJ]

The way I see it is this. Tell her that she goes you go and kick her out of your life for good (not literally of course

) I see it this way ticket to hawii $4,000, but a good long term relationship is priceless. If she believes that you are not worth $4,000 I would give her the old heave ho (pun intended). I also like the batman plan too

 

[swigue]

At the risk of saying what's already been said:

There are a few things going on here, but here's my advice.

1)From my experience, anytime you "feel" that something is wrong in a relationship, it is. I can't stress that enough. Go with your gut, always. There are lots of non-logical cues that we have honed our senses to perceive over the years. Body language would be one of these, there are lots of sub-concious reasons that you feel strange about her going.

2) Girls often do things to make their boyfriends mad on purpose when they want to break up with them. It allows them not to feel like the bad guy.

3) I could possibly see myself allowing this situation if I knew the guy well and the girl and I had been going out for 1 or more years. I don't think you'd be asking this question if you felt comfortable with it.

4) She obviously isn't too worried about you or your feelings. Most girls I have dated are hyper-sensitive to this kind of stuff. If they like me, they are not going to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. They wouldn't even dream of going to Hawaii with some other guy. Why would they want to spend the weekend with some guy they barely know when they could spend it with me, their boyfriend.

5)I know it sucks but if you want to stay with her. I would flat out ask her what the deal is. List all the above reasons and see how she reacts. Its better than getting strung along for a few more months. To the point: Some guys will say that asking her flat out makes you look desperate. I think it depends how you ask her. If you come sniveling up and say" I don't want you to go away with this guy" of course you'll look like a wuss.

However, if you simply say "I find it offensive and disrespectful that you want to go away with this guy. Furthermore, I think it shows a lack of consideration for my feelings, and I'd like to know why you would risk harming our relationship." That makes it look somewhat manly while still giving her a window to discuss her reasons.

Most Importantly: DO NOT let her guilt trip you by asking why you don't trust her. You have every right to be pissed off about this.

Hope that helped.

 

[CHALENGE GUY]

Trust her and dump her if she cheats on you.


[This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 05-16-2001).]

 

[XCMan]

I would definitely let her go, and then put the guy on the rack (literally) until he screams, "OK, I WAS DOIN HER!!!" Then you destroy him.

later.


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"I must not fear. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration..." Dune

 

[BGC]

I'd communicate to her that you would disapprove very highly -- but don't tell her not to go.

Guys who are "friends" with chicks are either a) gay; b) deluded in thinking they can turn the friendship into romance, boning, etc.; c) too pusssy to say that they want her, and are waiting for the "right time;"

Nonetheless, "guy friends" are suitors to a chick, no two ways about it.

I've told my girlfriend as much, and I've kind of made it clear I don't like the idea of her hanging around this one guy friends she's got.

I might ante up the pressure later if I think I have the leverage to back it up.

 

[locrian]

Ok Rookie, in case you're tallying up votes, here's my vote:

The relationship is already over. It was over when she decided that she wanted to go on a vacation with this guy.

But if you're the generous type and want to give her a chance to redeem herself... Tell her, "You have two options, you can be with this guy, or you can be with me. Tell me right now, what do you want?" If she does anything other than IMMEDIATELY say "I'm staying with you I didn't realize it was this serious I love you take me now blah blah blah" (or something along those lines) then tell her to have a good time with joe shmoe and hang up (or drive away) and don't talk with her again. Game Over, she loses.

If she were truly interested she would not risk her relationship like this, she would not put you in this kind of position. Believe me, she's a woman - she know's EXACTLY what kind of position she's putting you in!

Read Swigue's post above, that one's a gem! Points to remember (tip of the hat to Swigue and those who mentioned these already):

- your gut never lies
- an interested woman does not jeopardize your relationship like this
- you are COMPLETELY justified in not wanting her to go, she should NOT be pulling the "don't you trust me" routine.

 

[marknola]

A few questions. First off. One room, one bed. Do you really think his company is going to give him 2 rooms.

Do you really think you want to stay with this girl?

The relationship is over. No girl in her right mind is going to ask this of someone she cares about.
Can you imagine you asking her this. No way.
The reason she is asking in the first place is she wants to see how this other guy works out before she jumps ship. A women will never leave you till she is sure she can get another man. This guy is a player and probably has slept with her in the past. If you let her go on this trip, she will dump you quicker than yesterdays news paper.

The question you have to ask yourself is do I deserve better, and do I want to stay with a women who has little or no respect for me. Because if she respected you at all, she would not have asked.

So take locrians advice and tell her to decide right this very second. If she decides to go, you have lost nothing, because your fate was already decided, when she asked you. You have everything to gain by dumping her if she goes. You gain your self respect. You cannot lose.

I'm telling you the look on her face when stand firm and tell her to choose you over this trip, will be priceless. No matter how it plays out she will deep down respect you for not being played. That is what she is doing to you. She is playing you.

Next time a women asks you a question like this, look her straight in the eye and say " are you fu*king nuts"

This is not about trust, it is about respect.

 

[Teddybear666]

the fact she is even considering it means she's a pretty poor girlfriend

either you turn her into a f**k friend in which case you don't care that she goes and the other guy gets her or you sever all ties with her

 

[swat]

Wow.. this has been quite the unexpectedly long thread =)

 

[Survivor]

Rookie,

There's pretty much a consensus among the DJ's that your pitiful excuse for a girlfriend needs to be dumped on sight.

However...the blame goes both ways.

After you've dumped her, I seriously suggest taking time out to re-evaluate the four month relationship and figure out where, when, and why she lost respect for you.

Maybe you were to "nice" to her.
Maybe you said "I love you" too many times. Maybe you were too available. You might have supplicated to her too often.

Whatever it was, the fact remains that somewhere along the four month period, she obviously lost interest in you. Figure out what you did wrong and vow to never make that mistake with your future girlfriends.

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 05-17-2001).]