"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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would you allow your gf to do this?

pyros

pyros

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Just wondering, which of the following actions would you let your gf do?:

a) meet with guy friends for coffee, lunch etc.

b) dance with guy friends in a club

c) dance with guys in a club

d) text random guys

e) keep contact with exes, ex fwb's, etc (not facebook included)

I know some guys here think it is ok to have the 'let her do whatever if you're alpha' attitude, while others prefer to set boundaries or call their gf's out when appropiate to keep respect, and keep their frames. It is a bit confusing though.

If I am in a serious relationship with a girl, I expect a normal behaviour from her, common sense, and respect, so I would not allow her to do: c), d), and definetely not e).
For a) and b) I would just allow it if I know the guys, they are OLD FRIENDS, and it just happends from time to time and I do not feel anything is going on behind my back.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

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H

hudpes

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Some things can be an indication for something bigger, but it really depends on a woman. Some could do all of the above (except D) and still love you and be 100% faithful but they are mature and rare. As for the rest, it depends on the context - is it a once a month kind of thing? Does she do that while you're unavailable or does she do that excluding you? B and C are on the edge of a cliff, question is, what drives her to do that, especially C.

But this is all speculation and in a way irrelevant, because I wouldn't let her or not let her do that, I would just decide if I can accept a girl that does that or not. Not letting her would create pressure inside of her and it would demand a release in one form or another - not good. Letting her would indicate I have an option to orchestrate her behavior, which I don't. I might talk to her to find out why she wants to do those things and then act as a result of that.
 
zekko

zekko

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The only one I would have a problem with is a. I don't think it's appropriate to have one on one meetups in an exclusive relationship.

As for b and c, I don't care if she dances with someone. However, I won't seriously date a girl who likes to hang out in clubs, that's a red flag IMO. And certainly not at my age.
 
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