Would you allow ex-wife's son with the man with whom she adultered with at your home?

[MatureDJ]

http://news.yahoo.com/ex-wifes-son-painful-reminder-unhappy-past-050021018.html

DEAR ABBY: I was divorced when my son was 9. He's now 24. My ex-wife married the man she had been having an affair with and they have a 12-year-old son. I am also remarried and in a good place in my life.

For the past two years, my son has brought his half brother to our beach house for a weekend of fun. We honored this request and enjoy time with our son, but it is difficult having his half brother in my home. It brings up emotions I thought I had put behind me years ago.

I do not want these visits to continue, and I need to communicate this. I'd like to have an adult conversation with my son to explain the situation. How much do I tell him about my emotional reasons without being negative about his mom?

I also don't think he should have to carry the news to my ex or disappoint a 12-year-old. Should I send a simple note to her and explain that we will no longer host her son?

On one hand, I can agree with this guy - on the other, it seems like a loser's attitude.

NOTE: I mistakenly have an extra 'with' in the title.

 

[yuppaz]

I think he is too butthurt for something that happened a long time ago and it only punishes a 12 year old. The guy needs to get over it.

 

[sodbuster]

Maybe a bit butthurt, but he's not HIS. She left, she no longer has any benefits from his life. Don't know where the line is....but my ex wife and stepdaughter aren't in my will.

 

[VladPatton]

Why the hell are they keeping contact in the first place? For this circumstance, it's not the kid's fault. He should let em play, they're friends now. Dude needs a hobby.

 

[Desdinova]

I've thought about this myself because I'll be in a very similar situation when my kid gets older. I have to keep in mind that his half-brother is part of his family and I should respect that.

 

[Who Dares Win]

At brain level I can surely say that this guy should not deny his son to bring his half brother to play with him since the little kid has no fault about what that cvnt of his mother and the assh0les of his father did.

At gut level I can kinda understand what he is passing from this situation but being myself a man and not a woman I believe the brain is right.

 

[Down Low]

A 24-year-old man can rent a hotel room for a weekend. Or he can VISIT HIS HALF-BROTHER AT THEIR MOTHER'S HOUSE ANYTIME. Why not? Doesn't her current husband want him around? At least the 24-year-old actually has a blood relation to the woman.

Seems to me that the ex dreamed up the plan of thrusting the 12-year-old love child into the face of the man she cuckolded. The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

 

[glass half full]

I guess it would depend on the kid's attitude toward you. I have a similar issue, in that my last wife had two kids with her ex, and wanted me to be "the dad" to them. But their dad had his little instructional talk with the oldest, who taught the young one, they were both to treat me like crap, tear up my stuff, etc. You've all seen Home Alone, right? I lived with bratness for 18 years, I can tell you I would never do it again. I sincerely hope your situation wasn't/isn't that bad.

 

[ecko280]

I would not be OK with this. I would not want to take care of the 12 year old kid with a place to sleep and food while giving the ex wife and her new man the "weekend off". f++k that. I'll take care of my own kid.

 

[LiveFreeX]

But, fact remains he's the 24 y/o's brother... blood runs deep man. I don't care what my brother does in his life, he's always gonna be my little brother and I'll always take care of him, no matter what anyone says. Its a sick situation but you shouldn't take it out on the child, its not his fault. If the two brothers have a good relationship then foster that, I think the old man is just being a bit selfish and stupid.

 

[DJDamage]

Seems to me that the ex dreamed up the plan of thrusting the 12-year-old love child into the face of the man she cuckolded. The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

Agreed. I bet this woman also rationalized her cheating on this guy by blaming it all on him, its the reason why most women are guilt free when they do it.