Would like advice re: girl's behavior

[killahpl]

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this board, so glad to meet you

I come to you with the following problem. At a party about a month ago, I got really s**t-faced, and this girl appeared out of nowhere. So first, she sits down next to me on the sofa, then starts cuddling up to me, so I figure I'm gonna go for the kiss, what the hell, right? Well, first she turned away from the kiss, but luckily, because I had already read A LOT of PUA material, I knew that I should just remain calm and go for it again after building more comfort, whereas previously I would've just gotten mad. So we made out for a while, and in the end, my hand would've ended up in her pants had it not been for several drunk guys there who were teasing me and saying not to molest the girl.

I didn't ask for her phone number then, but was able to find her on this social newtork site similar to FB that we've got here and sent her a teasing message. She came back with a message in much the same tone, and we exchanged several messages (note that I sent her no more than 4 messages over a period of two weeks) before I asked her to give me her phone number, which she did no problem.

So I waited two days before shoting her a quick text, 'hey, cool picture on [let's call it Facebook]. Overall, I'd give it a 2 out of 10...well, maaybe 3 ." She came back "Well, I guess all I can do is be grateful for such a gracious rating ".

Another two days, another text from me: "I like to be kind to people whenever I can Now, back to your studies. You need to finish Uni 'cause I'm looking for some who'll support me in my old age ". Her: "Sounds to me like your dream is a bit unrealistic."

The next text, I sent quicker than the last two, although still waited about half a day: "Also, I'm looking for someone who would scrub my back ". She didn't reply to that one, so right, I thought, it's put up or shut up time, I'm gonna call her. And I kid you not, I wrote out this whole script of ****y & funny stuff I could say to her over the phone, but she answer the phone.

I thought, well yeah, the worst thing I could do is keep trying, so I waited another day and a half and tried calling her again. Again, no answer, but shortly afterwards, she texted: "Sorry, can't answer the phone right now." That was yesterday and I got nothing from her.

Now, the obvious thing is, I should've called as opposed to texting, but 1) it wasn't a massive number of texts, 2) I don't have a lot of experience, and when you've got social anxiety like me, even sending a stupid text is PAINFUL, as in dragging-yourself-through-hot-coal-painful.

You might also say, "just next here." Well the thing is, if I keep doing that and next girls at the earliest sign of inconveniece, then I'm gonna get good at nexting and nothing else.

Oh, well, thanks for any input, guys!

 

[Igetit!]

Hi everyone,

I'm new on this board, so glad to meet you

I come to you with the following problem. At a party about a month ago, I got really s**t-faced, and this girl appeared out of nowhere. So first, she sits down next to me on the sofa, then starts cuddling up to me, so I figure I'm gonna go for the kiss, what the hell, right? Well, first she turned away from the kiss, but luckily, because I had already read A LOT of PUA material, I knew that I should just remain calm and go for it again after building more comfort, whereas previously I would've just gotten mad. So we made out for a while, and in the end, my hand would've ended up in her pants had it not been for several drunk guys there who were teasing me and saying not to molest the girl.

I didn't ask for her phone number then, but was able to find her on this social newtork site similar to FB that we've got here and sent her a teasing message. She came back with a message in much the same tone, and we exchanged several messages (note that I sent her no more than 4 messages over a period of two weeks) before I asked her to give me her phone number, which she did no problem.

So I waited two days before shoting her a quick text, 'hey, cool picture on [let's call it Facebook]. Overall, I'd give it a 2 out of 10...well, maaybe 3 ." She came back "Well, I guess all I can do is be grateful for such a gracious rating ".

Another two days, another text from me: "I like to be kind to people whenever I can Now, back to your studies. You need to finish Uni 'cause I'm looking for some who'll support me in my old age ". Her: "Sounds to me like your dream is a bit unrealistic."

The next text, I sent quicker than the last two, although still waited about half a day: "Also, I'm looking for someone who would scrub my back ". She didn't reply to that one, so right, I thought, it's put up or shut up time, I'm gonna call her. And I kid you not, I wrote out this whole script of ****y & funny stuff I could say to her over the phone, but she answer the phone.

It looks like you may have waited a bit too long.

****y funny is just supposed to be a bridge,something to connect you to the end goal of dating her. It's not supposed to be the destination itself.


You spent too much time there. Not saying that it's over with,but you need to move on a bit sooner the next time.

Now, the obvious thing is, I should've called as opposed to texting,

True.

but 1) it wasn't a massive number of texts, 2) I don't have a lot of experience, and when you've got social anxiety like me, even sending a stupid text is PAINFUL, as in dragging-yourself-through-hot-coal-painful.

You have social anxiety?

You mean you can make out with some chick you've never seen before at a party,but you can't call the girl to ask her out?

Hmm....that's weird.

You might also say, "just next here." Well the thing is, if I keep doing that and next girls at the earliest sign of inconveniece, then I'm gonna get good at nexting and nothing else.

Now this,I agree with.

I say to try to call her again. Maybe wait two or three days from the last time you tried,but call her at least once more. And this time,if you do get ahold of her,STOP PLAYING GAMES and simply ask her out.



Now that that's said,it's possible you activated her ASD and she got buyer's remorse. She just made out with you,some random stranger. She was cool with it at the time because maybe she was drunk or horny or whatever,but once the party ended,a day or two passed,and she's back in her right mind,when she looks back at what she did,she may feel "slvtty".


And since she did it with you,then YOU represent that "slvtty" feeling.

So she's avoiding you because YOU make her feel like a slvt.

If that's the case,then you can forget it.

Besides,you shouldn't be going around making out with random girls if you want to date/have a relationship with them. If it's just for fun,then fine,but if you're after something more meaningful,you need to go the traditional route,which is talking to a girl and getting to know her first.

Once that's done,then you can stick your tongue down her throat.


Just try calling her again. And if she doesn't answer the next time,then move on.

 

[katatonia]

You've acted way too desperate and initiated contact far too many times even after she was ignoring you.

Your only course of action is no contact. She will definitely notice that you stopped contacting her and you may have a chance only if you didn't fvck up too badly already.

 

[killahpl]

You have social anxiety?

You mean you can make out with some chick you've never seen before at a party,but you can't call the girl to ask her out?

Hmm....that's weird.

It's only because, like I wrote in my original post, I'd had A LOT of liquid courage before making out with her, otherwise it would've been a completely different story.

Now that that's said,it's possible you activated her ASD and she got buyer's remorse. She just made out with you,some random stranger. She was cool with it at the time because maybe she was drunk or horny or whatever,but once the party ended,a day or two passed,and she's back in her right mind,when she looks back at what she did,she may feel "slvtty".


And since she did it with you,then YOU represent that "slvtty" feeling.

So she's avoiding you because YOU make her feel like a slvt.

See, I would've totally understood that if she hadn't wrote back, if she hadn't come back with those flirty, cutesey messages and texts, I would've totally got that she might be feeling a bit ashamed of what she did, which may or may not have been a spur of the moment kind of thing.

BUT, first she makes out with a guy at a party, then she responds to his messages for two weeks, then coughs up her phone number without thinking about it twice, then sends flirty responses to his texts for another week, AND ONLY THEN DOES SHE DECIDE THAT SHE FEELS LIKE A SLVT?

And it's not like my texts/messages to her were like "hey, babe! I like how we almost fvcked the other day, let's get together again and do it right this time! :-0~~" or "I like how easy you were compared to other girls."

Anyway, I don't think this girl is relationship material for me, I would just like to practice on her a bit, see where it goes, although I'm not totally discounting the possibility that it might lead to something...IF she answers the gd phone on my third and FINAL attempt to call her.

Thing is, I'm a 24 year old guy holding down two jobs and working long days from Monday through Sunday, and it's a CHORE just forcing myself not to collapse on my bed on Saturday night and go out, ya know?

Thanks for the advice, man!

 

[killahpl]

You've acted way too desperate and initiated contact far too many times even after she was ignoring you.

Your only course of action is no contact. She will definitely notice that you stopped contacting her and you may have a chance only if you didn't fvck up too badly already.

Oh, come on - Really?

How is trying to call her once again after she didn't answer the first time after two days desperate?

I mean, desperate to me is when a guy calls a girl three times during a day and she's not answering. hell, I'll even take two phone calls over two days - but a phone call on Sunday, then another on Tuesday is desperate?

Thanks for the input though, I may have to seriously consider whether or not to call her for a third time.

 

[sodbuster]

well then call her 10times until she stops answering your calls-then you will know we were right.

 

[killahpl]

I got another flirty text from her now. Haven't and will not reply to that one, though.

I may wait till something like Sunday and then try n' call her for the third and final time.