"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Would it hurt attraction?

cNfny

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I'm a sarcastic person and throw in lots of ****y and funny into the mix. My only draw back is that I tend to say just kidding a lot after a remark. Its almost instant with no control. Bad thing?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ligyron

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bad thing. never say just kidding. do your ****y/funny thing, then move on to something else, dont give them time to respond, dont expect them to respond. if they get really offended, then quietly look at them at the corner of your eye and whisper "relax" or "it's gona be ok" or something, as if you're letting them off the hook

dont give the impression that you're saying something to get a reaction. you're just existing and saying whatever comes into your mind you dont care what others think, you know you're funny and in control
 

cNfny

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Its just that sometimes what I say will come off too serious or hurtful so I just add a jk to show I'm being funny and observative. How could I get around that?
 

ligyron

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if you're going to say jk every time, what's the point of saying anything in the first place? it just means you're not being genuine and nothing you say has any value

if you're always getting bad reactions, then maybe you're being too ****y and not funny enough. anyone can be ****y and hurt other people's feelings

by saying jk all the time, what you're demonstrating to everyone is that you simply say stuff to get certain reactions out of people, and you dont really have any beliefs/values of your own. you're approval seeking. bad
 

cNfny

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Good point although that's not how I viewed it. Would it make sense that I'm conditioned to use jk in real life from chatting online where there's no emotion with text. so droppin a jk shows you're being playful?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MR_PERFECT

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Two things: First, one thing I've learned is that it takes intelligence to get the jokes. I've offended several people at once when it was a younger group of people I didn't know, and other times had everyone laughing. Second, younger people are more narcissistic and relate everything you say to how you see them.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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cNfny said:
I'm a sarcastic person and throw in lots of ****y and funny into the mix. My only draw back is that I tend to say just kidding a lot after a remark. Its almost instant with no control. Bad thing?
If you need to temper your comments with "Just kidding," is what you are saying really that funny (to people other than yourself). Don't confuse sarcasm with genuine humor.
 

cNfny

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The younger crowd has a lot to do with it. They sometimes take it literal and miss the humor in the tone.
 

Victory Unlimited

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When to use "****y and funny" is often a matter of timing...of accurately reading the current circumstance...and of having SOME general knowledge of the demeanor of the woman you're using it on.

I would say that there are MULTIPLE fine lines between being witty and being an asswhole, and "****y and funny" is somewhere in the middle. But if you use it in a way that comes across a little TOO mean-spirited to the the other person, then that's when you get all that NEGATIVE feedback.

Most people are at least a little "self-conscious", and maybe WOMEN even more so...That's why SARCASM can be a volatile weapon to use in your arsenal to attract women. Sarcasm is a higher form of humor in the sense that IT, unlike some other forms, REQUIRES a certain level of mutual intelligence for BOTH parties to enjoy it...

...if the delivery comes across as the slightest bit insulting, it could explode in your face and blow away ANY attraction that you may have nutured with the woman.

So let's be CAREFUL out there,troops...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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cNfny said:
The younger crowd has a lot to do with it. They sometimes take it literal and miss the humor in the tone.
You need to understand and play toward the audience you're performing to.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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