all answers are in bold
Why is your home life so bad?
i don't have a room in the house i am staying at. nor do i have a bed or even a fookin wardrobe. i have a small rack where my clothes go and 1 draw to house my crap another to house my underwear.
my folks HATE each other. there not together anymore haven't been for years but they live in the same house. the tension in this sounds can be cut with a knife. it's like that ALL THE TIME. then you will hear one yell at the other about paying bills. the house looks feels and is a POS. no one will clean it or do anything because the other is leaving here. Perth ( where i live) just went threw the hottest heat wave in 40 years. my dad wouldn't turn on the AC because he wanted to fave move on power. got yelled at the other day because my mother asked me to leave the room so she could make a call. so i move to the lounge sit down and start watching tv with my computer in front of me. dad walks in the room and yells at me to pick one or the other. i was only out there because i was told to go there. the house is really small.
What goals didn't you accomplish and why do think you you didn't?
I haven't even started the goals i want to for this year. i guess it was a jump at that.
Why have you made a main component of your mental state contingent upon a girl you barely know... and why aren't you being more aggressive?
I've been told " no" be every living person i know. in one form or another. so i guess after awhile you just think that " no" is ok. I'm also scared of loosing the girl in some form or another. but today i released, if the girl is attracted how can you loose her?
i also don't believe i have the skill to get the girl. i mean why would she pick me?
It's hard to "get on with the job" when you are in the midst of a battle with your self. You cannot win the war with others if you have not already won it with yourself. Do you think a two front war sounds like a good idea?
lets go to battle man!
Why do you think you have a side to yourself that craves attention so? Attention is a form of validation from others, so why do you seek that validation and why do you think you need it? Don't you think you have what it takes to find what you're looking for, or do you believe you will never find it alone? Be careful with this one and don't give the answer you think is right or that we want to hear, give the answer that is true for you right now. Are you seeking fulfillment internally or externally?
this is a hard one...
i want it because it's all i know. I've always been told to have it. the only reason i know of this is because Tyler RSD told me. It stems from not believing in me or the things i do. i can feel it when I open girls, it feel like i'm giving 40% because that's all i fee i am worth.
the about if times people have told me. " what" or " excuse me" because they can't hear what i am saying is redic
i crave attention because I've never been in the spotlight before. i have a school dvd some film kids did for my high graduation. i'm not in it... well.. you hear my voice say "sevens" while i'm playing cards with the guy getting interviewed.
I just want to be told i'm " good boy" i think i've only ever heard it from anyone twice in my hold life. maybe 3 times. ( as i write this i have a smile on my face remembering the 3rd time) that is the REAL reason.
You are battling yourself. "I should have just dont it". "The opportunity didn't come". "I'm p*ssed". "I should have". I should have. I should have. I should have.
When will you finally do it?
next time i see her. i have a blind rage towards her now. she is either coming out to see me this weekend. or i delete her number.
Not to add insult to injury, but do you see what you are doing here? Successes definitely synergize but so do failures. Every time you have something in your head that you want to do, like make a move on the girl, and you don't, you have only further trapping yourself in this pattern of behavior.
Do you have any idea why this is so hard for you? Do you have experiences in your past you need to resolve?
if you mean with not making a move on girls, sure i have plenty.
i also remember kissing my sister when i was 5 more then once. and under a bed. so lets go with that shall we
An easy life can be a Godsend for some and a liability for others. It was a liability for me. You have probably not had to work quite so hard for things and developed some lazy patterns, which is why you find it hard to "get the stones" to do things like make a move with a girl. In your life, have you had to do things that have been very hard and stretched you to your core very often? For some people, experiences like that are their life. That is how my father grew up and probably why he never had the issues I had growing up as a doctor's son... he had to literally fight for almost everything in life and I didn't have to do much at all.
I've alwyas had my basic needs taken care of so i will say yet to that question. though, it's always been my basic needs. i don't really know what hardship is. i guess.
You will also never find a resolution to any of your issues if you are minimizing them. So stop doing that. Don't dramatize them, but if they are causing you distress, accept it.
You won't find the answers to your problems with alcohol - you are actually risking turning in to your father. Stop it.
i have stopped doing both thing you have mentioned. i looked in my wallet today and saw i lost my bank card. so they are both GONE!
You may have had a good life in a way, but if your parents act out, that is a liability that is not trivial. Why haven't you left home? If you did, it would provide a challenge for you (you would stop having things handed to you and have to fight for things) and you would not have your parents dragging your state down. Are they really so bad? If they are, what will you do?
i guess you have never lived in Perth. the " average rental house price per week" is $450 minimum wage is just over $500. you do the math. it's FOOKING IMPOSSIBLE to move out of home. I only know of 1 guy who has moved out with his gf and i never see the guy becuse he lives so far away and he works so much. ( that and i went to his engagement party and was so drunk i think i told his gf's parents to go fook themselves. though this is second hand information)
i'm not scared of not having this handed to me. I WANT to be on my own. i can have PURE freedom at last. i can finally start eating healthy ( i don't buy the food) and start to do thing on my terms. i can't " just get a job" because i have no skills to bump me up into the higher earnings bracket. so once i complete 6 months of school this year i will be able to do that once i get a job.
And why aren't you focusing on what you are doing right, like your cert 3? I don't know what that is, but it sounds good!
thanks. i'm not working on it because i have finished it. it's summer holidays over here. i don't start school again until feb 2. having a cert 3 is the into level to accounting. mean i can work as a bank teller lol next step is book keeping.
I used to walk through downtown Cleveland with whoever my girl was and point to skyscrapers and say "one day I'm going to own a building like that". I believed it.
You will really start to lose in life if you ever stop dreaming like that. You may never own the building, but you will surely never own it if you stop trying to.
so do i man! whats funny is at the time, i kind of felt like i want her to come along with me. but i know that's not going to happen. plus my goal is to have hoes in area codes.
