jophil28
Master Don Juan
Bingo ^^-Mister T said:
ADHD in kids = Absent Dad, Hopeless Discipline.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Would an ADHD help thread be useful?
- Thread starter Atom Smasher
- Start date
ADHD in kids = Absent Dad, Hopeless Discipline.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The fact is, though, that the symptoms do exist. I agree fully that it appears in developed "1st-world" countries, as they say.
I believe that this is mostly because of information overload. We weren't designed to juggle the massive influx of data that we in America are forced to process. Rather, we were designed to raise crops (a slow, methodical process) and tend sheep and such. I personally am in the IT business (I have my own company) and the demands on my ability to process information quickly are off the charts. It's the same for the average office worker. We simply weren't designed to handle this "information age". There have been many experiments done that have proven that too much choice in any given situation is debilitating. I'm not saying "a lot of choice" or "several options", rather, too much choice. Today we are inundated with choice and with information.
This artificial society we have contrived now robs us of our humanity because we are coping with more than we were designed to cope with. In some, it takes the form of continual anger. In some, continual stress which can manifest in any number of ways. In still others, it takes the form of depression. And in others, whether an offshoot of depression or not, there seems to exist an emotional shutdown where a person feels overwhelmed and can't, no matter how hard they try, make the decisions necessary for a "successful" life (however you want to define that).
It is so easy to look at a depressed or otherwise partially functioning individual and say, "Snap out of it. What you need is confidence". WTF? That person already knows this. They think about it constantly and yet their brain short-circuits when they try to apply themselves.
Should those people be taken out into a field and be shot in order to purge society of the perceived "weaklings", or should mankind rally to find and share solutions to the problem? I for one intend to find and apply solutions.
There seems to be an overriding attitude among men in this forum (and in society in general) of "That's just the way it is". When it comes to women, we learn to conform to their demands instead of setting our own demands. We are men, and yet we are training ourselves to become dancing monkeys for women. "That's just the way it is, Atom Smasher."
I say bullsh!t! I hate that attitude, and that passive attitude is what got men into this situation in the first place. I would say that needing a forum like Sosuave is a uniquely modern-day and modern-society phenomenon. We all know that women will run roughshod when men become spineless puss!es, and we as a society have created this monster because we are weak and unwilling to pay the price of saying "Enough's enough. I'm not having this anymore!" No, instead we learn techniques and tricks to help us to mold ourselves to the demands of the entitled gender.
Similarly, regarding the symptoms of ADHD, I want to say, "Enough's enough! It doesn't have to be this way. It's time to do something about it. It's time to take action and address it."
There are thousands of adult men who find themselves in this situation, and what good does it do to declare that there is no such thing as that, you've had too much computer, TV, and not enough excersize? "Just shut those distractions off and get into the gym and you will straighten out and be a man." The problem is that they just can't see the possibility to be able to do it.
Well, sorry, but I refuse to let this utterly ridiculous argument about whether or not ADHD "exists" or not stop me from handling my own symptoms and the symptoms of others who are interested. I have clawed my way out of it by applying methods I have come up with and I can't help but think that those lessons learned can be applied to others whose fingers are bloody from trying to crawl out of their hell hole and haven't yet been able to.
As I said, I don't give a rat's ass what it is exactly or why it is. I just care about handling it and making a life for myself, and since I am succeeding, I care about helping others do the same.
I believe that this is mostly because of information overload. We weren't designed to juggle the massive influx of data that we in America are forced to process. Rather, we were designed to raise crops (a slow, methodical process) and tend sheep and such. I personally am in the IT business (I have my own company) and the demands on my ability to process information quickly are off the charts. It's the same for the average office worker. We simply weren't designed to handle this "information age". There have been many experiments done that have proven that too much choice in any given situation is debilitating. I'm not saying "a lot of choice" or "several options", rather, too much choice. Today we are inundated with choice and with information.
This artificial society we have contrived now robs us of our humanity because we are coping with more than we were designed to cope with. In some, it takes the form of continual anger. In some, continual stress which can manifest in any number of ways. In still others, it takes the form of depression. And in others, whether an offshoot of depression or not, there seems to exist an emotional shutdown where a person feels overwhelmed and can't, no matter how hard they try, make the decisions necessary for a "successful" life (however you want to define that).
It is so easy to look at a depressed or otherwise partially functioning individual and say, "Snap out of it. What you need is confidence". WTF? That person already knows this. They think about it constantly and yet their brain short-circuits when they try to apply themselves.
Should those people be taken out into a field and be shot in order to purge society of the perceived "weaklings", or should mankind rally to find and share solutions to the problem? I for one intend to find and apply solutions.
There seems to be an overriding attitude among men in this forum (and in society in general) of "That's just the way it is". When it comes to women, we learn to conform to their demands instead of setting our own demands. We are men, and yet we are training ourselves to become dancing monkeys for women. "That's just the way it is, Atom Smasher."
I say bullsh!t! I hate that attitude, and that passive attitude is what got men into this situation in the first place. I would say that needing a forum like Sosuave is a uniquely modern-day and modern-society phenomenon. We all know that women will run roughshod when men become spineless puss!es, and we as a society have created this monster because we are weak and unwilling to pay the price of saying "Enough's enough. I'm not having this anymore!" No, instead we learn techniques and tricks to help us to mold ourselves to the demands of the entitled gender.
Similarly, regarding the symptoms of ADHD, I want to say, "Enough's enough! It doesn't have to be this way. It's time to do something about it. It's time to take action and address it."
There are thousands of adult men who find themselves in this situation, and what good does it do to declare that there is no such thing as that, you've had too much computer, TV, and not enough excersize? "Just shut those distractions off and get into the gym and you will straighten out and be a man." The problem is that they just can't see the possibility to be able to do it.
Well, sorry, but I refuse to let this utterly ridiculous argument about whether or not ADHD "exists" or not stop me from handling my own symptoms and the symptoms of others who are interested. I have clawed my way out of it by applying methods I have come up with and I can't help but think that those lessons learned can be applied to others whose fingers are bloody from trying to crawl out of their hell hole and haven't yet been able to.
As I said, I don't give a rat's ass what it is exactly or why it is. I just care about handling it and making a life for myself, and since I am succeeding, I care about helping others do the same.