Naughty Ninja
Banned
What was your absolute worst first meet, date or sexual experience? Let's hear them.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Worst first meet, date, or sexual experience?
- Thread starter Naughty Ninja
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
MrRhythmic
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2011
- Messages
- 16
- Reaction score
- 0
Got one that covers all three... Started talking to a friend of friend on facebook, HB8 redhead, we hit it off (she's a geeky chick, it was fun to let that side of me flow and combine with my confidence... interesting results), we arranged to meet up on a night out...
...didn't know the night out was a £15 all-u-can-drink...
I have a weak spot for the drink, so got on it, lost my game. Lucked it, went back to hers. Couldn't get hard. Covered it up well - teasing her with some BS about not wanting to fvck her this soon. Ended up licking her out for 90 minutes-ish, multiple Os.
Got a good review.
That might not sound that bad, but thinking back, it was massively lucky that night didn't just bomb. SO many ways it could have gone worse on a coin flip.
...didn't know the night out was a £15 all-u-can-drink...
I have a weak spot for the drink, so got on it, lost my game. Lucked it, went back to hers. Couldn't get hard. Covered it up well - teasing her with some BS about not wanting to fvck her this soon. Ended up licking her out for 90 minutes-ish, multiple Os.
Got a good review.
That might not sound that bad, but thinking back, it was massively lucky that night didn't just bomb. SO many ways it could have gone worse on a coin flip.
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
I was out with a very hot Thai woman for the first time. We'd just got done drinking at a bar, and she was rubbing my leg and arm. I was going to use the bathroom real quick and then go back to my car for 'activities' with her, but I wound up passing a minor kidney stone in the bathroom that completely shredded the tip of my penis and made the thought of any sexual activity completely unbearable and painful.
I made up some excuse and bailed on her and nursed my stinging urethra.
I made up some excuse and bailed on her and nursed my stinging urethra.
irocknike23
Senior Don Juan
worst sexual experience:
1 month ago got a girl in bed i been wanting to bang for months.
was so drunk i couldn't get it up and she wanted it hard.....still couldn't get it up. she got frustrated and left and the next morning i found out my best friend banged her instead that night
1 month ago got a girl in bed i been wanting to bang for months.
was so drunk i couldn't get it up and she wanted it hard.....still couldn't get it up. she got frustrated and left and the next morning i found out my best friend banged her instead that night
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
A looong time ago I (like a moron) answered a personal add in the papers for the hell of it. I wound up talking to this chick who was Italian and said she had long hair, a nice body, used to do Ballet etc. She lived a few towns over so I said "fvck it" and went to visit her at her apartment...Should have known better....
I got there and the door was open and the apartment lights were all out except for the T.V....
She was laying on her couch and her body WAS hot, hair was LONG...but was covering her face....I asked her to turn on the lights....and I swear to God she had that disease that makes young people look old...Forgot what it's called...I felt bad but told her I had to go as my friend was waiting for me and I just came to meet her...She asked me to stay over as her room mate was away for the weekend...
I couldn't do it. I took off out of her apartment and she called me an ******* and started bawling! I kept walking and got the hell out of there...Kindof felt bad for her but fvck that....
I got there and the door was open and the apartment lights were all out except for the T.V....
She was laying on her couch and her body WAS hot, hair was LONG...but was covering her face....I asked her to turn on the lights....and I swear to God she had that disease that makes young people look old...Forgot what it's called...I felt bad but told her I had to go as my friend was waiting for me and I just came to meet her...She asked me to stay over as her room mate was away for the weekend...
I couldn't do it. I took off out of her apartment and she called me an ******* and started bawling! I kept walking and got the hell out of there...Kindof felt bad for her but fvck that....
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
6 years ago A cute brunette messaged me on Myspace and we kind of hit it off, flirty and all she thought i was hot. So at the time i was spinning more plates than a dish washer, i decided to meet up with her. She picks me up in Brooklyn, and automatically shes attracted to me and says "lets go to my house" it was like 12am so im like ok cool. I thought she lived in Jersey, i end up in Deleware. Im thinking WTF! im being kidnapped? but i had a knife and alot of money in my wallet so, worst comes to worse i got money to run away LOL anyway, on the NJ turnpike, she starts stripping for me while shes driving and ends up completely naked and every time we go to a toll she would cover up with a shirt,.... Nice body and all and im like NICE! im messin around with her as shes driving....................................... UNTIL she opens her legs. I rather smell dead bodies, a whiff of the most atrocious smell i have ever encountered. I move back and almost instantly i nauseous. She said "Whats wrong Sexy" with a smile. I said ugh i dont feel well from the pizza we ate (We ate pizza before we left brooklyn) anyway,...i put my jacket over my face and laid back on the seat. i said im going to put my head back cuz i dont feel well. maybe we can stop at a 7-11 when we stop. I ended up almost throwing up, and i bought some tylenol. We got to her house which was F*kin scary, I do not know WTF is going on but i saw her computer screen saver and it had one of those satanic stars on it. Her mom comes down the stairs and is like,.. Oh hey with a smile. At this point im thinking, Hmm her mom doesnt care her daughter is bringing a guy over late like this,.... I felt like i was going to be the Morning sacrifice. She invited me to her basement which she had a tied up putbull that was foaming at the mouth. Im ready to shank the dog, her and her mom if ANYTHING feels wrong. Finally she cooled down and we chilled. she gave me a Hand Job and we hang out for a bit. I start feeling so sleep from the 4 tylenols i took and we pass out on her bed. BTW, she opened her drawer and there was like 10 dildos in there. anyway, i wake up at like 4:30am and im like i need to go home, shes like Aw babe come lay down and almost passes out again, I smack her ass and say i gotta go NOW. she smiles and says OO i like that. At this point im like WTF,... she says ok. she drives me all the way back home in a snow storm. Finally i got home and she gives me a kiss. im like.. Okay, i gave her $20 for the tolls and she called me up a few times but i didnt answer. The end. and BTW she even threated on my voicemail that if i didnt pick up that she would call the police on me. i still ignored and eventually never heard from her again.
Went to a party with my group of friends, great party house was packed and down here in Canada we have this type of alcohol called "everclear" It's illegal in I think most of the states and even provinces up here.
Anyways my friends and myself bought a 26 of this ****, it's 95% grain alcohol, one shot of it feels like drinking gasoline and your mouth instantly dries up, horrible horrible ****!
So we finish this 26 between the 3 of us (gave a few shots to friends) I drank that ontop of a few beers and at this point i'm feeling completely sloshed. Possibly the highest drunken state i've ever been able to function in. (I'm 17 at the time)
The girl who invited my friends and me specifically to the party was a HB7 and she was eying me the whole night but kind of being all push-pull when i'm making moves.
As the night progresses I no longer care and grab her hand and take her to her bedroom.
I'm thinking "Score, this is good, sex then sleep"
So she locks the door turns off the lights and we start making out.
She starts taking off my pants and starts giving me a hand job and a *******, I take off her shirt.
I make moves to advance to undoing her pants and she pulls away or moves my hands to her tits.
Weird.
This goes on for a while until I have her butt naked, me as well.
Note to get to this point it took a good 30 minutes, and being as drunk as I was I had the patience of a two year old.
We continue making out and she's getting really excited, I stroke the side of her thigh and up the middle then feel a string.
Pesky string, so I pull the string.
With almost no resistence I feel this wet slap on my leg.
...
What the ****
What was that?
I stop making out and feel my thigh; it's wet.
My drunken mind puts the puzzle pieces together which takes about a full 20 seconds.
"ARE YOU ON YOUR!?!?"
I look at my hand and with the lighting through the window I see a darkish liquid on my fingers.
The alcohol, the mental picture along with the moisture on my hand all combine at once.
I roll over and throw up on the floor.
She calls me an A******!! Grabs a sheet her clothes and runs out of the room in tears.
I fall back on the bed and pass out.
Moments later i'm woken up to the room with the lights on, a bunch of people around me and my friends laughing and putting my pants on for me saying "We have to go now!!"
I never got invited to ANY other parties hosted by her for the rest of high-school.
I did however manage to slay her last winter after seeing her at the bar after two years. This time she was indeed not on her period. haha.
I still have no clue why she let me take her pants off or why she refused to not say anything?? Maybe she was just too embarrassed to tell me?
Anyways my friends and myself bought a 26 of this ****, it's 95% grain alcohol, one shot of it feels like drinking gasoline and your mouth instantly dries up, horrible horrible ****!
So we finish this 26 between the 3 of us (gave a few shots to friends) I drank that ontop of a few beers and at this point i'm feeling completely sloshed. Possibly the highest drunken state i've ever been able to function in. (I'm 17 at the time)
The girl who invited my friends and me specifically to the party was a HB7 and she was eying me the whole night but kind of being all push-pull when i'm making moves.
As the night progresses I no longer care and grab her hand and take her to her bedroom.
I'm thinking "Score, this is good, sex then sleep"
So she locks the door turns off the lights and we start making out.
She starts taking off my pants and starts giving me a hand job and a *******, I take off her shirt.
I make moves to advance to undoing her pants and she pulls away or moves my hands to her tits.
Weird.
This goes on for a while until I have her butt naked, me as well.
Note to get to this point it took a good 30 minutes, and being as drunk as I was I had the patience of a two year old.
We continue making out and she's getting really excited, I stroke the side of her thigh and up the middle then feel a string.
Pesky string, so I pull the string.
With almost no resistence I feel this wet slap on my leg.
...
What the ****
What was that?
I stop making out and feel my thigh; it's wet.
My drunken mind puts the puzzle pieces together which takes about a full 20 seconds.
"ARE YOU ON YOUR!?!?"
I look at my hand and with the lighting through the window I see a darkish liquid on my fingers.
The alcohol, the mental picture along with the moisture on my hand all combine at once.
I roll over and throw up on the floor.
She calls me an A******!! Grabs a sheet her clothes and runs out of the room in tears.
I fall back on the bed and pass out.
Moments later i'm woken up to the room with the lights on, a bunch of people around me and my friends laughing and putting my pants on for me saying "We have to go now!!"
I never got invited to ANY other parties hosted by her for the rest of high-school.
I did however manage to slay her last winter after seeing her at the bar after two years. This time she was indeed not on her period. haha.
I still have no clue why she let me take her pants off or why she refused to not say anything?? Maybe she was just too embarrassed to tell me?
milf, I was really looking forward to it but as I started kissing her I noticed that she had eaten something that had to do with garlic and had not washed her mouth well enough or at all!
Needless to say all my excitement was gone with the first kisses and a week of anticipation and excitement went out the window in seconds. I still banged her but at one point when i was kissing her on the bed I almost threw up on her! Basically I was kissing her but I couldn't stand it any longer and took my mouth off of hers and put it on top of the pillow (i was on top of her).
Up to that point everything had been great between us but with that incident I lost all attraction I had for her. Our moment that day didn't last long as I had lost my will to do it. Needless to say that was our last time together I gave her the friend card after that.
Ever since that time I have become more conscious of my own personal hygiene and breath than ever before. You just don't know how important those 2 are until you experience something like this. It makes you realize that it could happen to you and a girl that you like could lose all her interest if you slack up with your game and not keeping your mouth fresh.
You just don't know how much of a turnoff something like this can be until it happens to you.
Needless to say all my excitement was gone with the first kisses and a week of anticipation and excitement went out the window in seconds. I still banged her but at one point when i was kissing her on the bed I almost threw up on her! Basically I was kissing her but I couldn't stand it any longer and took my mouth off of hers and put it on top of the pillow (i was on top of her).
Up to that point everything had been great between us but with that incident I lost all attraction I had for her. Our moment that day didn't last long as I had lost my will to do it. Needless to say that was our last time together I gave her the friend card after that.
Ever since that time I have become more conscious of my own personal hygiene and breath than ever before. You just don't know how important those 2 are until you experience something like this. It makes you realize that it could happen to you and a girl that you like could lose all her interest if you slack up with your game and not keeping your mouth fresh.
You just don't know how much of a turnoff something like this can be until it happens to you.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I'll take the breath over a 100 year old rotten scrambled eggs smelling Vag LMAO OMG that smell! Overal good story, when i was kissing her on the bed I almost threw up on her! thats funnyf283000 said:
last year i was mistakened for smoeone at the mall and was banned. I happened to work at that mall and didn't really listen to the security guards and they never did anything. One time, my friend hooked me up with this girl who loves muscular arabs, so i just added her on fb. Second date we went on , i suggested a restaurant in the mall (east side marios) since it wasn't far from work.
On the way out, i saw two security guards, they questioned me then put me under arrest (citizens arrest). I didn't fight back since i've never been arrested before nor did i knwo what was going on.
The girl got scared, fled and never called me again. lol
On the way out, i saw two security guards, they questioned me then put me under arrest (citizens arrest). I didn't fight back since i've never been arrested before nor did i knwo what was going on.
The girl got scared, fled and never called me again. lol