Worried about something I probably shouldn't be

[DoinWV]

Ok I'm an AFC. I've been dating my gf for 2 months. We have yet to have intercourse, but we have messed around and done oral..and stuff like that. Due to our situation we are never able to be alone much, therefore we haven't had intercourse, its just never the right time or place. Anyhow, recently her evil friend...STOLE a dildo for her. This is not just any dildo, its a ****ing monster of a dildo. Its a 9 inch long vibrating dildo thats about equally as thick as my **** maybe even thicker. Like 5-6 inches around. She says she wanted it for when I get her horny and we aren't able to do anything to help each other out so to speak (she can't masterbate with her hands it "doesn't excite" her). Well I am intimidated to say the least about this dildo of hers. I know a toy can't take the place of a person, but how am i going to be able to compete with this monstrous, extreme vibrating(i felt the power this thing packs, i nearly got off from the sound waves) tool of pleasure. I mean unless my **** starts vibrating, that thing has one up on me. Not to mention about 3 inches up on me. Is she going to want sex less now that she has this toy to fullfill her orgasm needs? I mean our relationship isn't just about sex, but sex is a big part of any relationship. Atleast in my mind. I guess Im just worried that I wont be able to satisfy her nearly as well as that ****ing behemoth wand of extasy. I guess this all comes down to my insecurities about myself in that department. I just wonder if I'll be of any use for sex now that she has that damn thing. I love the girl, but my need for lots of sex are very real and true. I dont have any experience in this matter. Is it going to make her want sex more or less? I don't really care if she gets off from me or not, well I do sort of for the whole pride thing, just as long as we **** a lot and I get off. Then she can go home and break out her vibrating elephant leg.

 

[b's nuts]

you have 2 options.

stop being a pvssy.

or

steal it from her.

 

[Big Pappy]

Relax. Forget about it. There's nothing you can do, but service her as best you can.

You might try renting a hotel room and shagging her good and proper.

 

[Eileen]

Dildo envy?

Don't worry. Just think. If she's comfortable using a dildo she'll probably be comfortable experimenting with you. Name it for her. All dildos should have a proper name. Something that will remind her of you. Tease her about using it when you ring her up.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I have an idea - wrap yourself with wires throughout your whole body and make a connection on the end of the wire so that you can plug your whole body into an electrical outlet and be a 6 foot vibrating dildo that no other dildo can ever match and then you dive into her tw@t as if you were a lifeguard and somebody’s life was at stake.

Oh, by the way, I left out a small but a critically important detail, don't forget to insulate yourself from the wires and the wires from her -- if the current don't kill her then the vibrating human dildo will!

Good luck explaining to the police investigating the death of the first girl in the world who died of good vibrations. Also have an excuse ready, like you were on crack at the time you did this and that she agreed (I personally would have that agreement in writing before the act). This is the excuse you can tell your family and friends so they think that you were not your true self and were temporarily insane by the crack cocaine when you attempted such a stupendous feat. Also don’t be surprised if they have your picture in the paper the next day with the title, “The human dildo who murdered girl through bad vibes" or good vibes depending on your outlook.

Just tell her parents that she had a death wish and she wanted to go out with a smile on her face!

You’ll never listen to the Beach Boys’ song “Good Vibrations “ in the same way again