So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Somehow I don't expect much of a reaction from this, but I just had a small realization.
Some of you have heard how words make up 3-7% of communication, and the remaining 90+% of communication is noise and movement (voice tone and bodylanguage.
I was at the club last weekend, with a few lady friends (who are all in the 7-9/10 range in looks) we were on the floor dancing at one point and this guy walks up to the girls but I was standing in his way slightly... so he looks me in the eyes as though to ask for permission to talk to them... I gestured for him to go ahead (knowing damn well that he was dead in the water).
So, he walks up and starts a conversation with one of them standing there like a wet noodle. His posture, the expression on his face, his eyes downward... everything that just showed his powerlessness. Before he could even get an actual word out one of the girls walks across our little circle looks him straight in the face and says "NO!".
I swear the guy would have been just as well to say "Here are my balls, I don't use them so maybe you won't hurt them." In a way, I felt bad for the guy, but I had better concerns....
I talked to one of the women later : "The way you shot that guy down, why do you girls put up that shield, stops any guy from getting close to you?? I mean, you girls are always talking about Mr Right, and your endless search for him... what if that guy had been mr right and you just shot him out of the water before he got a word in." (Sometimes I pretend like I'm clueless in areas just to ellicit a useful opinion from women)
"Mr Right would not have approached like that" was essentially her response.
Anyway, I decided to try a small experiment the next day at work to try and tie it together (even tho it was a crude experiment). So, at my work (in a sales department) I was chatting with a woman sitting next to me.
On 3 seperate occasions I used the phrase 'how did you do that' except putting the focus on different words
HOW did you do that?
how did YOU do that?
how did you do THAT?
Each time I got different TYPES of answers... which was expected.
The conclusions I've come up with, which even though it's nothing really new is that :
- Body language communicates attitude, emotion, direction, focus, intent, intensity, confidence and personality.
- Voice tone communicates emotion, intensity, intent, confidence / belief (in what your saying), and focuses the context
- The words that you use are ONLY there to extablish a context for the other layers of communication.
That's why an approach as simple as "Do you like smarties?", that was suggested a short while ago, can be used successfully (assuming that you've got game to back it up). The words are there only to provide the context of the communication, the smarties example would require other contexts following it to lead to a pickup, but will only be lead to further interest by the woman when other parts are congruent with what is viewed as attractive... for example, to display confidence you need to use confident words, said in a confident tone, using confident body language to communicate that you have confidence....
I wish I wasn't so tired while writing this so that I could really be sure that this all makes sense, because I understand it in my mind, but I'm not sure at this point if the contexts (words) that I'm using are communicating properly.
Some of you have heard how words make up 3-7% of communication, and the remaining 90+% of communication is noise and movement (voice tone and bodylanguage.
I was at the club last weekend, with a few lady friends (who are all in the 7-9/10 range in looks) we were on the floor dancing at one point and this guy walks up to the girls but I was standing in his way slightly... so he looks me in the eyes as though to ask for permission to talk to them... I gestured for him to go ahead (knowing damn well that he was dead in the water).
So, he walks up and starts a conversation with one of them standing there like a wet noodle. His posture, the expression on his face, his eyes downward... everything that just showed his powerlessness. Before he could even get an actual word out one of the girls walks across our little circle looks him straight in the face and says "NO!".
I swear the guy would have been just as well to say "Here are my balls, I don't use them so maybe you won't hurt them." In a way, I felt bad for the guy, but I had better concerns....
I talked to one of the women later : "The way you shot that guy down, why do you girls put up that shield, stops any guy from getting close to you?? I mean, you girls are always talking about Mr Right, and your endless search for him... what if that guy had been mr right and you just shot him out of the water before he got a word in." (Sometimes I pretend like I'm clueless in areas just to ellicit a useful opinion from women)
"Mr Right would not have approached like that" was essentially her response.
Anyway, I decided to try a small experiment the next day at work to try and tie it together (even tho it was a crude experiment). So, at my work (in a sales department) I was chatting with a woman sitting next to me.
On 3 seperate occasions I used the phrase 'how did you do that' except putting the focus on different words
HOW did you do that?
how did YOU do that?
how did you do THAT?
Each time I got different TYPES of answers... which was expected.
The conclusions I've come up with, which even though it's nothing really new is that :
- Body language communicates attitude, emotion, direction, focus, intent, intensity, confidence and personality.
- Voice tone communicates emotion, intensity, intent, confidence / belief (in what your saying), and focuses the context
- The words that you use are ONLY there to extablish a context for the other layers of communication.
That's why an approach as simple as "Do you like smarties?", that was suggested a short while ago, can be used successfully (assuming that you've got game to back it up). The words are there only to provide the context of the communication, the smarties example would require other contexts following it to lead to a pickup, but will only be lead to further interest by the woman when other parts are congruent with what is viewed as attractive... for example, to display confidence you need to use confident words, said in a confident tone, using confident body language to communicate that you have confidence....
I wish I wasn't so tired while writing this so that I could really be sure that this all makes sense, because I understand it in my mind, but I'm not sure at this point if the contexts (words) that I'm using are communicating properly.