KingWizard
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2015
- Messages
- 24
- Reaction score
- 2
Hi guys,
A while ago, I posted about buying an engagement ring for a girl... You know... You talked to me how bad idea it was. I was too stubborn to understand it. And we were engaged... for a while... I was in FOG as I heard. We were together for 1 and a half year. Year engaged. Long distance relationship, which started just as a plate. And guys, you know what?
I will post here a comment from an old thread + some thing added by me -
*I would catch her in lies frequently
*I feel like I've been manipulated and controlled
*She would often tell me how trapped and empty she felt - very lonely
*She told me on a couple of occassions that she was "damaged"
*All my friends thought she seemed fake or like she was acting
*VERY seductive and would always seem to know what to tell me
*Push and pull dynamic
*Very afraid of abandonment
*Would talk about how great her family and friends were to others, but her family was a mess - constant fighting and ignoring each other and she would tell me that her friends don't relate to her at all
*She complained/hated her life, job, situation, etc (and she's got it pretty good)
*I'm pretty sure she was acting out with sex behind my back now, and know she drank too much frequently to escape
*She would seem content then go to depressed and sad often
*In hindsight, her words and actions never lined up
`She would write to me, how much she misses me, but when we met, she was just standing like "ow, hi"
`She was so mindfvcking I almost thought I have bipolar disorder and BPD
`In first 2 months, I was a knight in shining armor. After first fight, I was starting to be treated as a shiet
`Left by father while a child - heard he is abusive, depressed, alcoholic. But her mother was still with him
`Her answer when I was talking about other couples having fights - "Why won't they break up / divorce?"
`After sucking dry my emotions, she started to act real b!tchy, mad at me when I called her too proud and a typical girl
`Wanted to break with her, but I felt so sorry for her, I stayed way much longer then I should,
`3 weeks before moving out with her 500km away, she told me that - "I love you, I care about you, I don't want it to be destroyed, let's not move out". 3 weeks later, she broke up with me, and found new fvck boi
`Until I met her, I considered myself Don Juan, always different girls to meet, girls checking me out. In relationship? Depressed, without friends, without family, having only her.
`When we split, everybody just came back to me, all friends, family, girls. Talking how b!tchy she was.
I guess, you already know guys. I was dancing with the devil, I failed as supposed to, coming back to life now. Need help - BPD-ex. I am burned out. Hollow shell.
At first I felt awesome, 2 weeks of partying, spinning plates, reforging relationships with friends etc. etc. But right now. I feel empty, passionless, unattractive, guilty, ashamed, and ... I still think about her. It was hard for me to start NC, my things were held hostage. And right now, she is still trying to keep me in touch. She wants her things back too. It is only 1 photo... Which I threw out. Also I still catch myself on one thing. I am still talking about her. Just to talk about her, about anything. Like an addiction to drugs. But that's not the point.
I want to apologize you guys, for not listening to you, being too stubborn, being mad at you for "being jack@sses" and so on. I wasn't myself. I need to get back on the track. You are more experienced with BPD then me. Any ideas and words? Been through hell and back, almost lost
everything. But I am still here, not gonna surrender now. But I need some advice. What to do when mildly depressed? Also it is strange depression, which I haven't experienced before. I want to turn up every night, spin plates, and at the same time, I feel like worthless poop. I hope, part of her disorder didn't hooped on me. Will you give me a hand, despite being Biblical Lost Son? And I don't remember which advice I turned down, and which of you guys I probably sh!tted on but take my deepest apologies.
Also I have reread my latest thread. I am a bit ashamed of myself. Glad I am over this BPD chick. Guys, don't be like KingWizard 2015/2016...
A while ago, I posted about buying an engagement ring for a girl... You know... You talked to me how bad idea it was. I was too stubborn to understand it. And we were engaged... for a while... I was in FOG as I heard. We were together for 1 and a half year. Year engaged. Long distance relationship, which started just as a plate. And guys, you know what?
I will post here a comment from an old thread + some thing added by me -
*I would catch her in lies frequently
*I feel like I've been manipulated and controlled
*She would often tell me how trapped and empty she felt - very lonely
*She told me on a couple of occassions that she was "damaged"
*All my friends thought she seemed fake or like she was acting
*VERY seductive and would always seem to know what to tell me
*Push and pull dynamic
*Very afraid of abandonment
*Would talk about how great her family and friends were to others, but her family was a mess - constant fighting and ignoring each other and she would tell me that her friends don't relate to her at all
*She complained/hated her life, job, situation, etc (and she's got it pretty good)
*I'm pretty sure she was acting out with sex behind my back now, and know she drank too much frequently to escape
*She would seem content then go to depressed and sad often
*In hindsight, her words and actions never lined up
`She would write to me, how much she misses me, but when we met, she was just standing like "ow, hi"
`She was so mindfvcking I almost thought I have bipolar disorder and BPD
`In first 2 months, I was a knight in shining armor. After first fight, I was starting to be treated as a shiet
`Left by father while a child - heard he is abusive, depressed, alcoholic. But her mother was still with him
`Her answer when I was talking about other couples having fights - "Why won't they break up / divorce?"
`After sucking dry my emotions, she started to act real b!tchy, mad at me when I called her too proud and a typical girl
`Wanted to break with her, but I felt so sorry for her, I stayed way much longer then I should,
`3 weeks before moving out with her 500km away, she told me that - "I love you, I care about you, I don't want it to be destroyed, let's not move out". 3 weeks later, she broke up with me, and found new fvck boi
`Until I met her, I considered myself Don Juan, always different girls to meet, girls checking me out. In relationship? Depressed, without friends, without family, having only her.
`When we split, everybody just came back to me, all friends, family, girls. Talking how b!tchy she was.
I guess, you already know guys. I was dancing with the devil, I failed as supposed to, coming back to life now. Need help - BPD-ex. I am burned out. Hollow shell.
At first I felt awesome, 2 weeks of partying, spinning plates, reforging relationships with friends etc. etc. But right now. I feel empty, passionless, unattractive, guilty, ashamed, and ... I still think about her. It was hard for me to start NC, my things were held hostage. And right now, she is still trying to keep me in touch. She wants her things back too. It is only 1 photo... Which I threw out. Also I still catch myself on one thing. I am still talking about her. Just to talk about her, about anything. Like an addiction to drugs. But that's not the point.
I want to apologize you guys, for not listening to you, being too stubborn, being mad at you for "being jack@sses" and so on. I wasn't myself. I need to get back on the track. You are more experienced with BPD then me. Any ideas and words? Been through hell and back, almost lost
everything. But I am still here, not gonna surrender now. But I need some advice. What to do when mildly depressed? Also it is strange depression, which I haven't experienced before. I want to turn up every night, spin plates, and at the same time, I feel like worthless poop. I hope, part of her disorder didn't hooped on me. Will you give me a hand, despite being Biblical Lost Son? And I don't remember which advice I turned down, and which of you guys I probably sh!tted on but take my deepest apologies.
Also I have reread my latest thread. I am a bit ashamed of myself. Glad I am over this BPD chick. Guys, don't be like KingWizard 2015/2016...
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