"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Wooing the PhD ladies

ilikeburritos

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I'm a 21 year old junior in college, and recently have taken interest in a girl I met who is a grad student at my school. She's 24, she has her masters degree, and is working on her PhD right now. So basically she's past the whole college-partying thing, and is in a different stage of life than most other girls I've been going after.

Also, I have a crappy car with duct tape fixing various parts of it, rust, paint peeling, rattle noises, and various stains on most of the seats. I also live in a lower flat that is pretty much a piece of crap. In my room there's nowhere to sit besides my bed and no comfortable way to even sit on the bed much less even big enough for two people to fit on. We have a living room, but no tv or anything of any attraction in there. So basically I have a ghetto car and live in a crappy house. These will definitely not help my situation. I would be embarrassed to drive her anywhere in my car or have her over to my place.

It just seems like this is a little different ball game than I'm used to...any advice?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ilikeburritos

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Yeah but the thing is, how do I get that to happen without basically saying "ok lets go over to your place, oh and by the way can you pick me up?"
 

The Bat

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You are focusing too much on material things. Click with her on a personal level at first. Let her see that you're one of the most funnest and coolest guys she has ever met. After which, I'm sure, she won't care about your crappy car/house. Don't try to impress the girl with a nice car or a nice house. Impress them with your nice personality.

And don't forget, she is a grad student. She wants to have fun...with you. Don't worry about trying to match up to some imagined benchmark of the perfect guy that she's looking for at this stage in her life. Just have fun with her. Everything else will flow naturally.
 

Desert Fox

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No Phd student is going to marry a loser in college who has a ****ty apartment/car etc.

If your family is poor and you live liek that, but you SUCCEED AND ARE AWESOME AT SCHOOL, and you are very drivein in school in a very relevant area, then she will care abotuu you. But otherwise no.

PhD women are focus and result oriented...they look for the same in men. No body wants a leech to support. Would you want a poor girl hanging on you if you were rich? It would bel ike taking care of a grown baby.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJDamage

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Desert Fox said:
No Phd student is going to marry a loser in college who has a ****ty apartment/car etc.
A woman is a woman, no matter if she has a PHD or a GED. You are assuming that a PHD student wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. He ain't marrying her, he wants fo FVCK HER. All he needs is some confidence and game.

Desert Fox said:
If your family is poor and you live liek that, but you SUCCEED AND ARE AWESOME AT SCHOOL, and you are very drivein in school in a very relevant area, then she will care abotuu you. But otherwise no..
What kind of nonsense is this?! having success in school does not equal success with ladies.

Desert Fox said:
Would you want a poor girl hanging on you if you were rich? It would bel ike taking care of a grown baby.
That was your worst argument yet. Men don't give a fvck how much money a woman has in her pocket, if she is hot.

Oh look its Jessica Alba look alike but she is broke, I really don't want to fvck her now....:rolleyes:
 

oakraiderz2

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Damage took the words out of my mouth.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDamage said:
A woman is a woman, no matter if she has a PHD or a GED. You are assuming that a PHD student wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. He ain't marrying her, he wants fo FVCK HER. All he needs is some confidence and game.



What kind of nonsense is this?! having success in school does not equal success with ladies.



That was your worst argument yet. Men don't give a fvck how much money a woman has in her pocket, if she is hot.

Oh look its Jessica Alba look alike but she is broke, I really don't want to fvck her now....:rolleyes:
I'll add that most PhD students have crappy apartments and crappy cars themselves because they are living off stipends which seldom compare to the pay of full time jobs. Unless they are living with/off their parents don't expect them to have much.
 
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