won't put out before marriage

[MixMaxster]

Ok this is like a big deal to me,

I might be disrespectful for saying this, but what do others do about girls who say they won't put out before marriage? Do you stick it out with them with the expectation that you don't know where it will go and if it leads to marriage then that's fine, OR is it more like you can't hold out that long and you either hope she changes your mind or find someone else or something.

 

[MetalFortress]

Seeing as I'm living by the same standard, I look for that.

 

[MindOverMatter]

If you think she's marriage worthy, stick it out with her, if you don't, do yourself and her a favor and move on.

 

[xblitz44x]

Accept it. If she changes her mind and decides she wants to do it, great. But if she doesn't, you have no right to get pissy and impatient because she told you from the beginning and YOU accepted it.

Personally I stay away from those women. They are a waste of time for me. I want to have sex before marriage. I don't feel like compramising what *I* want because of HER beliefs.

 

[PoloBlue]

I would keep the relationship but also date other women and have sex with the other women, you should always have a back up plan.

women usually date other guys while they are seeing you, just dont make any commitments.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Rule #4:

Any woman that makes you wait for sex or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

While there is a latent purpose in abstinence before marriage, this purpose ALWAYS serves the female's primary desire - security. That said, many a woman will assume this 'moral highground' as a form of LJBF in an effort to give you a moralistic rejection. It actually becomes a more ironclad form of LJBF.

Whenever I hear this reason floated out by a woman for not becoming intimate with a guy, my first suspicion is she lacks interest and is attempting a rejection that will send a clear message. I've had chicks in my past run this one at me only to hook up with a guy she was hot for and toss all pretense of morality out the window.

Passion necessitates risk; risk to ones reputation, risk to ones personal conditions and risk to personal beliefs. Trust me, if a girl was that passionate about you she'd risk the sin of becoming intimate with you. And that's really an unconscious decision we make as at least semi-moral people, passion is a willingness to risk.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Does a bear shyt in a toilet?

I think your on the wrong site man. This isn't the arch of angels site here. Your in the den of women fawkers.

Why don't you go to:

www.sochristian.com

and ask this question.

 

[DeathDealer]

If you agree to this, you give the woman ULTIMATE power in relationship. You're already an AFC in this relationship, seriously.

 

[RiceHapa888]

go **** other girls on the side

 

[MindOverMatter]

I think your on the wrong site man. This isn't the arch of angels site here. Your in the den of women fawkers.

LOL.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
If you agree to this, you give the woman ULTIMATE power in relationship. You're already an AFC in this relationship, seriously.

Actually, you're the AFC. You should be keel-hauled for making such a simplistic statement.

 

[dietzcoi]

More AFC advice.. thanks Smart One.

Dietzcoi

 

[mistyc]

ohhh no.... I've been in a relationship like that recently. Thankfully it lasted only 6 weeks.

I was even vaguely entertaining the thought of marrying her one day, if she ever came back to my country.

Then she left to her country and my mind cleared.

If she won't **** NOW, if she wont' even let me touch her boobs... HOW THE HELL WILL IT BE AFTER MARRIAGE? Constant excuses not to ****? Lower and lower sex drive? And you KNOW the sex drive just lowers after marriage.. Screw that stuff man, get yourself a REAL woman with fully functional sexual urges.

No means no. That means "no (sex before marriage) means no (relationship before sex)"

 

[B9]

to AFC or not to AFC.

that is the perfectly overrated question.

 

[Wyldfire]

If this girl is one of the very few in this day and age that wants to save herself for the man she marries, then you need to respect that. If you genuinely like her and think you would want to get married within the next 5 years and you want to marry someone of quality then you'd be stupid to "next" her just because she doesn't want to have sex with anyone other than the man she marries. This is a girl you can and probably should maintain a friendship with. Girls who really want to save themselves in this way are not saying no because they don't like you. They are saying no because of their values and morals. They aren't just leading a guy on.

In this situation, the best way to go is to actually become good, close friends with this girl with the understanding that it's not going to lead to sex or even dating. If you don't try to have a romantic relationship with her but build a good friendship then it leaves you free to date and have sex with others while still standing a chance with her a few years down the road if feelings grow and you find you'd like to get married.

The added bonus to this is that a relationship or marriage that starts off with a genuine, solid friendship is not only far, far better than one that starts off physical, but it also tends to actually last. When this girl marries, it's much less likely that she will get divorced, cheat or place little value in the man she marries. These are all things to consider.

Don't date her or have a romantic relationship with her unless you intend to marry her. Get to know her as a friend and keep it a friendship unless and until you are ready to marry her...period.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
If this girl is one of the very few in this day and age that wants to save herself for the man she marries, then you need to respect that. If you genuinely like her and think you would want to get married within the next 5 years and you want to marry someone of quality then you'd be stupid to "next" her just because she doesn't want to have sex with anyone other than the man she marries. This is a girl you can and probably should maintain a friendship with. Girls who really want to save themselves in this way are not saying no because they don't like you. They are saying no because of their values and morals. They aren't just leading a guy on.

In this situation, the best way to go is to actually become good, close friends with this girl with the understanding that it's not going to lead to sex or even dating. If you don't try to have a romantic relationship with her but build a good friendship then it leaves you free to date and have sex with others while still standing a chance with her a few years down the road if feelings grow and you find you'd like to get married.

The added bonus to this is that a relationship or marriage that starts off with a genuine, solid friendship is not only far, far better than one that starts off physical, but it also tends to actually last. When this girl marries, it's much less likely that she will get divorced, cheat or place little value in the man she marries. These are all things to consider.

Don't date her or have a romantic relationship with her unless you intend to marry her. Get to know her as a friend and keep it a friendship unless and until you are ready to marry her...period.

This is good advice.
Couldn't say it any better.

 

[So Many Ways]

I've been in this situation before. I met a woman who after the second date, decided to become a born again virgin. We hadn't had sex yet but she was far from a virgin. Needless to say I walked away. I will settle for nothing less than a sexually fulfilling relationship. If that's what you want, then your decision should be an easy one. Since not having sex in a relationship bothers you, you will be settling. Is that what you want?

You can't force a woman who wants to wait to engage in a sexual relationship. On the flip side, you can't force someone who desires a sexual relationship to have a celibate relationship. You end up in a situation where one person's needs are not being met.

The solution to these scenarios really is simple.