Wondering what to do (URGENT)

[AntoniousIV]

That'll take out the awkwardness of whether you should escalate, so you can focus on the awkwardness of probably not being able to go all the way in. It's gonna suck, and it's gonna be quick.

Wait why won't I be able to go all in? Why will it suck and be quick? (she's definetly a virgin, so am I)

Since you don't know how to escalate properly, the next time you're getting hot and heavy in private, I'd probably just ask, "Do you want me to be your first?"

Ok that sounds great, I'll try that. And let's say she says "yes". (I'm pretty sure there might be atleast some resistance I'll try with affirmations, like saying it's natural, and that she'll really enjoy it, and hopefully get a yes).

But how do I escalate "properly" after her yes?
I think I should get her bottom dressing off, get mine off and just take it from there haha.

That said, if you watched a lot of porn, how do you not know what the "thingy between her legs" is?

I was joking. I know that she has a pu$sy between her legs lol.

 

[BPH]

Wait why won't I be able to go all in? Why will it suck and be quick?

This is why:

(she's definetly a virgin, so am I)

(I'm pretty sure there might be atleast some resistance I'll try with affirmations, like saying it's natural, and that she'll really enjoy it, and hopefully get a yes).

Don't do that. Neither one of you has a single clue about what you're doing. Your best course of action is to be honest about that, and ease into it together - rather than f*** it up by trying to play it cool.

But how do I escalate "properly" after her yes?
I think I should get her bottom dressing off, get mine off and just take it from there haha.

Ideally, you would take her clothes off, and she would take your clothes off. You would then put the condom on (learn how to do this properly, as it correctly rolls down ONE way, and NOT the other), and ease your way in. She will find it painful, so you will have to go very slowly, and let her dictate the pace - not that it matters too much, since you won't last long.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think I'm pretty relaxed and not desperate irl.
I'm being an unfiltered "first thought first word" version of myself here.
Otherwise I think twice before I say something irl.

On the secone date I did do something which I wonder if it's a turn off.
So we went to a place far away in my car, and when she was on my lap I said "how do you know that I'm not a crazy axe murderer? I'm not but still?"
She didnt really say anything so I said:
"Or maybe you are one? Atleast I'll die happy."
Is this cheesy and weird? The "atleast I'll die happy" part.

I remember making many cheesy remarks like this with one very ugly and "ungrateful" girl (I was desperate back then). And I think even she found me repulsive back then, she dodged my kiss and went ghost after a week of seeing eachother.
(2 years ago)

A couple of days ago I wrote on another thread that when someone treats every gesture like a hidden message to solve, they distort what’s actually being communicated in real time through behaviour, tone, and escalation. In your case, you are taking one cheesy line and trying to reverse engineer attraction from it when the actual interaction already gave you the answer; she went on a second date, sat on your lap, made out with you, grinded on you, and drunk-texted you afterward. That matters far more than obsessing over whether “at least I’ll die happy” was slightly awkward.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Not sure what her age is, or yours for that matter. If she's younger, I would actually expect this type of behavior to be honest.

My best offering here is set boundaries at certain levels. Explaining this a bit with an analogy. You don't use a screwdriver for everything do you? You're not trying to make her an LTR? Great. You're not making ANY mistakes with a plate. Unless you've done a deal that can't be undone. Like putting a baby in her, turning your fun bits into gumby, or giving her the green goolies! *barf*

If she's a plate, just keep 'playing' around with her. She sees you as fun enough, otherwise she wouldn't be talking to you. Maybe she expected you to respond with something specific by blurting out that she had that many drinks? A ride? A crash space? A good excuse not to hook up with a guy who hit on her in the bar? We don't know. Getting another plate while you're still 'playing' with this one keeps you sharp.

More on the boundaries bit. Once you've got a few plates, you'll learn about new boundaries, likes and dislikes. Those will change. You'll also find out certain turn offs and characteristics that a re flat out unacceptable in an LTR based off of what you see. I'm a picky sumbeach myself. Most men would have smashed most of my encounters who did everything except jump my bones. Your boundaries for a plate, a STR/situationship or LTR are going to be different. That's ok. Especially if you're just beginning on learning this stuff.

You're leaps and bounds ahead of most. Stop worrying about it. Just remember that each time you do something to improve yourself, most people didn't do the same. Same feeling of pride should radiate off you anytime you go to the gym, read a book, or try something new and force yourself to adapt.

 

[AntoniousIV]

You would then put the condom on (learn how to do this properly, as it correctly rolls down ONE way, and NOT the other), and ease your way in. She will find it painful, so you will have to go very slowly, and let her dictate the pace - not that it matters too much, since you won't last long.

Bro I'm super grateful for your advice, I managed to get laid haha.

Here's the story if you're curious.

She was in my bedroom, we were chilling, I put a TV show (Dr. House) on the tv and we were kissing and stuff for a couple hours 8pm-12am. then 12am I rubbed her pu$$y and got her horny, and went in with my fingers.

Then suddenly she was on top of me on on my bed (with clothes), and I asked her if she wanted me to be her first (like you advised me to). She said "with a condom?", I said "yeah", she said "you got one?, I said "ofcourse". She said but what if it hurts?, I said "I'll immediately stop." (basically 0 lmr lol)

So I got up, got the shield on, but my sword became a noodle. And I couldn't get it in bcs I had performance anxiety.

So I gave up put my boxers back on, and we kissed for some time, and at around 4am she was on top of me rubbing her pu$$y on me. So I figured fvck it let's try again. Asked her "wanna try again", she said "yeah".

This time I was 75% on, so I got another shield on, tried entering her, struggled for 4 mins, put my finger in first to locate and managed to enter. And it was fine, she was moaning so she probably enjoyed it. We did it for like 10-15mins I think. I didn't really feel anything (prolly cus of the performance anxiety, i was only at 75% peak power), didn't even finish. I'm gonna get thin condoms next time.

Got any advice for performance anxiety? I heard that being a lil drunk is good, but I rarely drink.

 

[BPH]

Bro I'm super grateful for your advice, I managed to get laid haha.

Here's the story if you're curious.

She was in my bedroom, we were chilling, I put a TV show (Dr. House) on the tv and we were kissing and stuff for a couple hours 8pm-12am. then 12am I rubbed her pu$$y and got her horny, and went in with my fingers.

Then suddenly she was on top of me on on my bed (with clothes), and I asked her if she wanted me to be her first (like you advised me to). She said "with a condom?", I said "yeah", she said "you got one?, I said "ofcourse". She said but what if it hurts?, I said "I'll immediately stop." (basically 0 lmr lol)

So I got up, got the shield on, but my sword became a noodle. And I couldn't get it in bcs I had performance anxiety.

So I gave up put my boxers back on, and we kissed for some time, and at around 4am she was on top of me rubbing her pu$$y on me. So I figured fvck it let's try again. Asked her "wanna try again", she said "yeah".

This time I was 75% on, so I got another shield on, tried entering her, struggled for 4 mins, put my finger in first to locate and managed to enter. And it was fine, she was moaning so she probably enjoyed it. We did it for like 10-15mins I think. I didn't really feel anything (prolly cus of the performance anxiety, i was only at 75% peak power), didn't even finish. I'm gonna get thin condoms next time.

Got any advice for performance anxiety? I heard that being a lil drunk is good, but I rarely drink.

Glad to hear it worked out for you.

As far as alcohol for performance anxiety, it's a bit of a double-edged sword...

On one hand, getting a little bit of a buzz might loosen you up so you're not overthinking the moment.

But on the other hand, if you're struggling to feel anything, and can't get off because of that, you might have MORE difficulty, since the alcohol will make you less sensitive.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Got any advice for performance anxiety? I heard that being a lil drunk is good, but I rarely drink.

It was your first, it was her first, too much going on but you did it. Dont worry about it, keep having sex with her, it will get easier and easier (and more enjoyable). This was a win, enjoy (literally and figuratively)