"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Wondering if she is losing interest

da_hunter

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I have been dating this girl for about six weeks. We fvcked after the second date. It has been extremely hot and heavy. We have been sleeping together about 5-6 nights per week. The sex has been amazing, we've both told each other so. Two weeks ago she told me that she has started taking the pill and I don't have to wear a condom anymore. Last weekend we spent the entire weekend basically doing it at my apartment, then taking breaks, ordering food, then doing it again.

I feel like I am getting too attached to her and it is making me nervous. We get along pretty well, but I just get this feeling that she may be losing interest slightly, and that I may have done some stuff to make her lose interest.

How can a girl who went on the pill for me and just spent 3 days at my house, screwing my brains out, be losing interest? This is a girl who texts or calls me usually multiple times throughout the day, and for the past 3 days she has not called, I've had to call her. She has also told me that she has changed her phone plan so that she can't talk on the phone until she gets her free minutes at 9 o'clock at night, so now I can't talk to her so much on the phone.

I might be imagining that something is up, I tend to get paranoid and overthink things when I like someone. I may be spending too much time with her too - I do think that 5 times a week is too much to spend together. I don't have time to take care of my responsibilities and hobbies if I spend that much time with her. The sex made it hard for me to resist, though. I may have screwed up in other ways - I gave her a gift - an iPod, after she lost hers, I gave her my old iPod so she could have some music when she jogs. I looked at it as a present for helping me set up some furniture at my house, and for going on the pill for me. This is bad - but when we were doing it, I told her I loved her. It was one of the many things that were blurted out to each other during sex (we're always saying dirty stuff to each other like 'i love your pvssy', she always says 'i love your c0ck' to me) - so she may not have noticed I said it. It just slipped out and i didn't even mean to say it, I think I meant to say something like 'i love your pvssy', but it didn't come out right. Anyway so I'm hoping she didn't hear that. Again, I'm probably being really paranoid and overthinking this.

She basically told me I can't have sex with anyone unless I tell her about it first, since we're now using having sex without a condom. It feels really serious really fast. I don't think I could date anyone else without feeling guilty about it. Anyways, should i tell her we're moving too fast? Should I tell her I don't want to be exclusive? Should I date around on her? On the one hand I feel like she may be losing interest, on the other hand I feel like if I do something to give myself some control in the situation, it may result in loss of sexual privileges, which would be a damn shame. What you think?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ConantheLibertarian

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Seeing her 5 times a week and your hobbies are suffering? There's no maybe about it, you are seeing too much of her. And forget about her IL in relation to how much you see of her, your hobbies are taking a back seat. Stuff you do for yourself. You're starting down a dangerous path, in which you no longer derive happiness from self and self-interests, but rather from an outside source (a woman.) That never ends well, and it ends eventually. Give her the gift of missing you and get back to what you do for you.

I wouldn't worry about giving her a present, just don't make a habit of it obviously. There can't be a penalty for being nice on occasion. She did something for you, and you did something for her. As for the I love you, don't bring it up. She might think nothing of it. But if you broach the subject, then you might give her the idea you said it and meant it and are trying to retract it.

It does appear as though you are over-analyzing, though you have picked up on some hints because of that. Her not calling for 3 days after calling a lot certainly appears to be a sign. How were your conversations when you called her during those 3 days? If it were me, I would have taken the opportunity to get out of bed (yeah most people don't live in bed ;) ) and have some me time.
 

flows101

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da_hunter said:
She basically told me I can't have sex with anyone unless I tell her about it first, since we're now using having sex without a condom.
Right now from what iv read I think she see’s you more like a **** buddy.
If you’re really paranoid about her losing interest go cold turkey on her for a bit and SARGE other chicks to get her of your mind (VERY IMPORTANT), eventually she’ll call you to ask why you haven’t been contacting her then just play it off.
 

MacDiddy

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when we were doing it, I told her I loved her.
Bad move... really bad move... This is the IL killer...
She basically told me I can't have sex with anyone unless I tell her about it first, since we're now using having sex without a condom.
She is setting up her escape clause and subtly inferred that it is not an exclusive relationship that you and her are in.= Meaning that she reserves the right to fcuk others or slip into another relationship without notice. She knows that you won't cause she knows that you are so into her (RE: the I love you fiasco)
 

da_hunter

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ConantheLibertarian said:
Seeing her 5 times a week and your hobbies are suffering? There's no maybe about it, you are seeing too much of her. And forget about her IL in relation to how much you see of her, your hobbies are taking a back seat. Stuff you do for yourself. You're starting down a dangerous path, in which you no longer derive happiness from self and self-interests, but rather from an outside source (a woman.) That never ends well, and it ends eventually. Give her the gift of missing you and get back to what you do for you.

I wouldn't worry about giving her a present, just don't make a habit of it obviously. There can't be a penalty for being nice on occasion. She did something for you, and you did something for her. As for the I love you, don't bring it up. She might think nothing of it. But if you broach the subject, then you might give her the idea you said it and meant it and are trying to retract it.

It does appear as though you are over-analyzing, though you have picked up on some hints because of that. Her not calling for 3 days after calling a lot certainly appears to be a sign. How were your conversations when you called her during those 3 days? If it were me, I would have taken the opportunity to get out of bed (yeah most people don't live in bed ;) ) and have some me time.
When I talked to her the past 3 days, the conversation is the same as always, but I am ao stressed that it spoils the conversation for me, I can't enjoy it. But that's not her fault, that's my fault.

Here is something I didn't mention. I have a project due at the end of the week, she knows this. And I didn't get anything done over the weekend because we were together so she knows I will be really stressed pulling a lot of overtime getting this thing done. Maybe she is not contacting because she knows I have to get this done. The last time I talked to her she said, 'get this done so you can come over at the end of the week'. But there still really is a drastic reduction in the number of calls and texts.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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da_hunter

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MacDiddy said:
Bad move... really bad move... This is the IL killer...
She is setting up her escape clause and subtly inferred that it is not an exclusive relationship that you and her are in.= Meaning that she reserves the right to fcuk others or slip into another relationship without notice. She knows that you won't cause she knows that you are so into her (RE: the I love you fiasco)

I don't think she noticed the ILY. She was moaning pretty loud herself at the time. The more I think about it, you can't count that anyway because it was in the middle of sex where we are saying all kinds of dirty stuff to each other.

I still don't see how this is 'not an exclusive relationship' to her if she goes on the pill, and tells me that we cannot date or **** anyone else unless we tell the other person about it first. One other thing: she told me, when she is ****ing someone, she is only seeing that person.
 

da_hunter

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flows101 said:
Right now from what iv read I think she see’s you more like a **** buddy.
If you’re really paranoid about her losing interest go cold turkey on her for a bit and SARGE other chicks to get her of your mind (VERY IMPORTANT), eventually she’ll call you to ask why you haven’t been contacting her then just play it off.

I know you're right. Sarging will get her out of my mind and make me not so attached to her. I used to sarge a lot, it's weird that I'm in a sort of exclusive situation now, I'm not used to it. If I went out to a club and started macking girls and asking for their number I would feel sort of guilty. Should I feel guilty about this? She has told me that when she is is ****ing someone she is exclusive with them. I think she expects me to be the same way.
 

flows101

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Well if you promised to be exclusive with her then you have to keep that promise, but you can still play mind games with her to get her interest level back up.

I think you should read THE ART OF SEDUCTION by Robert Greene VERY VERY good book it has stuff you can use to keep a girl interested in you and fall in love with you for a loooong time.
 

da_hunter

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MacDiddy said:
What a chick tells you does not mean anything.. What a chick does, means everything.
so what does it mean when she is fvcking my brains out every day for a week, then tells me she is going on the pill for me so I don't have to use a condom? that doesn't sound like someone who just wants to be casual fvck buddies.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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MacDiddy

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flows101 said:
Well if you promised to be exclusive with her then you have to keep that promise,
Are you kidding me... A man does what ever he damn well pleases.

I've promised women the world... I lied... so what... They still want me... I've told them I'm no good for them... they don't care..
 

da_hunter

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MacDiddy said:
Are you kidding me... A man does what ever he damn well pleases.

I've promised women the world... I lied... so what... They still want me... I've told them I'm no good for them... they don't care..
You have no character. A real man does not have to stoop to lying to get what he wants. Remember, character is destiny.
 

MacDiddy

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da_hunter said:
so what does it mean when she is fvcking my brains out every day for a week, then tells me she is going on the pill for me so I don't have to use a condom? that doesn't sound like someone who just wants to be casual fvck buddies.
And yet here you are... posting about your doubts... yet offering advice about destiny... what a chump!!!

A real man does what ever he wants..!!! He makes no apologies for the choices that he makes.
 

da_hunter

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MacDiddy said:
And yet here you are... posting about your doubts... yet offering advice about destiny... what a chump!!!
At least I do not have to lie or cheat on my girl to get my way.

MacDiddy said:
A real man does what ever he wants..!!! He makes no apologies for the choices that he makes.
But he doesn't need to lie about it or use deception, which is what you admitted to doing.
 

danielzxc

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macdiddy, you're not a man, you're a piece of shyt if you do WHATEVER you want. That is such fkking retarded advice it's only in our fkked up age that you'd ever hear a man claiming that 'real' man is one who does WHATEVER he wants. What happened to integrity, honor, duty etc? THOSE things always used to make a real man. da hunter points out to you, and you mock him. You're a lost fkker is what you are.

da hunter, that kind of intensity is hard to maintain man. Sucks, but that's life. I hate it when you notice things starting to die down. It's like coming off a drug high.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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MacDiddy

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danielzxc said:
That is such fkking retarded advice it's only in our fkked up age that you'd ever hear a man claiming that 'real' man is one who does WHATEVER he wants.
Welcome to the real world, or in your case a fukked up world.
What happened to integrity, honor, duty etc?
Dude, thats so lame.. You must have joined the army and gotten a bit carried away.. I predict you'll make rank Capt. Save-A-Ho with ease.
THOSE things always used to make a real man.
I'm glad you have the sense to realise THOSE things "used" to exist in the same age when chicks were feminine and proper and had our dinner ready before we got home. Nevertheless,

No boys!! Its a dog eat dog world out there... I suggest you get use to it. Its all for your benefit.
 
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