Womens' quest to betaise alpha males:

[jophil28]

After how long do I stop the ignorance? Inputs?

How long do you put a kid in TimeOut and take away its priveleges ? That depends on the circumstances and the misdemeanor.
Women who are acting badly are harder to correct than kids. You are dealing with an adult ( well almost) with deeply established patterns of behavior.
In your case she is playing the "I am tired / have a headache " game.
THis is not so much a test as a power play. She is withdrawing and withholding the thing that she knows is VERY important to you. Why?
Because she knows that if she rations sex she she controls it, and that gives her the illusion of power over you. This is a very destuctive scam. This game is usually the beginning of the downward spiral.
What to do ? The slow takeaway is the way to go- if she does not drop the mind games then you need to let her know very calmly that you are "disappointed in your relationship" and you intend to date others. And be ready to do it ! Then NO CONTACT for at least three weeks.
Does this sound harsh, brutal and ruthless ? Yep, it is BUT so is the game that she is playing.

 

[squirrels]

How long do you put a kid in TimeOut and take away its priveleges ? That depends on the circumstances and the misdemeanor.
Women who are acting badly are harder to correct than kids. You are dealing with an adult ( well almost) with deeply established patterns of behavior.
In your case she is playing the "I am tired / have a headache " game.
THis is not so much a test as a power play. She is withdrawing and withholding the thing that she knows is VERY important to you. Why?
Because she knows that if she rations sex she she controls it, and that gives her the illusion of power over you. This is a very destuctive scam. This game is usually the beginning of the downward spiral.
What to do ? The slow takeaway is the way to go- if she does not drop the mind games then you need to let her know very calmly that you are "disappointed in your relationship" and you intend to date others. And be ready to do it ! Then NO CONTACT for at least three weeks.
Does this sound harsh, brutal and ruthless ? Yep, it is BUT so is the game that she is playing.

It's not your job to "raise" or "train" women. At least that's how I see it.

Raising your kids is one thing. They're YOURS, your responsibility. Women, on the other hand, come and go. You don't HAVE to deal with them. It's not your responsibility.

So...you stay with women as long as it makes you happy to stay with them. When they start giving you sh!t and stressing you out, you refuse to deal with them. It's that simple. If they want to be in your life, they play by your rules.

 

[vorbis]

Zero2, you're probably better off without her.

I'd echo Squirrels. Its not your job to turn her into a well adjusted woman. If my gf even attempted to turn toward that kind of power play, I'd dump her. It shouldn't even be a convo over what I can do to combat it. Its appalling behavior pure and simple. Its a definite signal that you're in for a lot of head ****s with this woman.

Find yourself a girl who can handle issues within the relationship without resorting to these tactics.

 

[Colossus]

Yep that is the popular theory.. however I can tell you from personal experience that as they get older their habitual "testing" transforms itself into control and power plays . The faked-up drama , the mind fvcking, playing the jealousy card , the demands for trinkets.. a new this and a new that , the appaling disloyalty . the bad mouthing you to their girlfriends ... I could go on...
These are not legitimate tests to evaluate your character or your "strength", they are destructive toxic undercurrents which destroy the foundation of a marriage or an LTR and drive men AWAY or drive men to the divorce court. .

Jophil you have about 25 years more life experience than me, so i cant really disagree with you...but i think ther is a difference between a sh!t test and straight selfish manipulation.

 

[Colossus]

Dude, I know im being very selfish when I say this, but Im a man. I need sex. My girl, she puts out a lot in the beginning, but now when we make plans to hangout at my place, she will come out with a pre-im having headache or early menses kinda stuff.

I may be brutally honest, but if you got a girlfriend that you cant screw, then what is the point of getting a girlfriend? Might as well get some good guy friends, build close relationships, talk about life and sharpen each's others' perspective right?

She still enjoys getting stuffs from me, like attention, time, affections and fun outings, but Im getting less from her, and Im not too happy about it. I just need to hear from expert views on how to settle it.. currently using the take away affection and attention way.. she called me five times today. Im still ignoring her.

After how long do I stop the ignorance? Inputs?

No, you are not selfish. It has been immortalized in a quote here that if you are not sexual with her, which is what you want and need, then you are no different than a girlfriend with a d!ck.

It sounds like you are getting less and less from her, and she keeps getting the same or more from you. Thats not good business. Withhold your attention, money, and time. Let her know indirectly that when your needs arent being met, you dont quite feel 'in the mood' to provide for her needs.

Thats kind of a tit-for-tat approach, but i like to think of it as the rule of 2: If she is withholding, you withold twice as much. If she is laying it on you, you lay it on half as much. Just multiply or divide your actions by two. It's not an absolute rule, so dont apply it to everything. Use it with discretion.