"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Women would RATHER you approach

Mike24ct

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I had this big realization that I wanted to share.

For guys that have approach anxiety, look at it this way....

Women would RATHER you approach than act like a stalker. Having dealt with approach anxiety myself, I finally realized that by staring at women, lingering in their presence, and not saying anything, I was MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE.

I used to avoid approaching to avoid stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I was making women uncomfortable in the process.

I've even asked women about this and they have all told me that a guy should approach (and say something) RIGHT AWAY, because a guy that looks at her too much or lingers near her without saying anything gives her the creeps. Even if your opener is weak, or even if she isn't interested, she'll be much more comfortable if you say SOMETHING. By saying something, you'll at a minimum seem like a normal guy, as opposed to a stalker.

If you don't believe me, as an experiment, go out to a bar or club and stand near a woman or group of women. Every few minutes, look right at them, then look away. But don't say ANYTHING to them. Nine chances out of ten, the girl(s) will eventually take off and move to a different spot in the bar/club. (In the slim chance that they don't take off, if you finally do say something they won't be receptive to you as you have staled yourself out and looked like a stalker.)


Mike
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Caldus

Senior Don Juan
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What about the part of being rejected and then they tell all of their friends and it spreads? That's why I fear approaching. Dumb fear I know.

I understand your post though. Good points.
 

BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Caldus
What about the part of being rejected and then they tell all of their friends and it spreads? That's why I fear approaching. Dumb fear I know.

I understand your post though. Good points.
You should be proud you made that big of an impact. Just play it cool, don't freak out because your getting rejected, and you'll leave a good impression anyway - and she's not going to go 'tell her friends'.
 

jago25_98

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yeah, u gotta stop thinking. Like dancing or singing

You're so hot it doesn't matter whether she tells all her friends. Fish everywhere. You need her like you `need` chocolate ; you want but don't need.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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