women with issues

[alphajosh22]

as much as i hate to admit it, for some reason i have this tendency to get emotionally involved with women that have issues? sometimes they are not exactly visible at first glance, but for the most part i spot them long before the disaster strikes. for example, the last chick that i dated was 23 years old, lhad two kids, and lived at the kids dad mothers house). the girl was a nice girl, but man was she messed up. her whole situation was messed up. for example the dads mom would disrespect and talk **** to her, make her cry, the kids dad would also so the same. (i just heard today that they are getting married by the way)anyways, she would tell me, and it was like i was slowly getting dragged into their problem. i had plenty of these red flags come up before we even stopped seeing each other, but for some reason i ignored them!!

now that its over i realize that i was in denial the whole time. it freakin pisses me off that i invested so much of my time and energy with these women that only ended up giving me heartaches and grief. these girls have bigger problems than me. another example, this otehr chick that i dated a couple years ago had just gotten out of a long abusive relationship. the guy was bipolar, clinically depresses and he would go crazy on her. yet she left me to go back with him. I now realize that im in a much better place now, but i am still amazed at how naive and blind i was throughout the whole ordeal. its crazy but even when i was seeing these women, i was sorounded by other women, but becuase they probably weren't as good looking(these girls weren't hb 10 either) i ignored them and continued with the damaged goods. anyways i want to ask you guys what you think my problem is. if any of you guys have gone through this or know what i am talkin about, i would greatly appreciate hearing from you guys. peace.

 

[sexysuave]

We love hot women. Bottom line, sometimes you know a chick that's a little more average might be better for you, but there's something about a beautiful girl. Did you ever have that feeling "Damn, this chick is hot, if I loose her, I may not get somebody as hot as her" and then you excuse her behavior and think you can "put up with it". I bet you did, that's why you stayed. Somebody had a great observation in another post that once you're whipped over a girl like that, even though you know you might be better of with someone else, you still hang in there and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Well, there is, but you're NOT going to do anything about it, because of these feelings that you'll never find anybody better. You'll just keep trying to make it work, as the other person observed and I totally agree with it. The fact is, you can ALWAYS get over a person. There were 3 girls I had that I always thought, "MAN THAT WAS THE ONE, I WON"T FIND ANOTHER ONE". Once I lost contact, AND THIS MIGHT BE THE KEY: LOST CONTACT!!!! I was able to find another girl that I thought was a LOT better and then I felt stupid as how I could have lost so much time over the last one.

Two observations in this, one of 'em is what I just realized tonight after reading a couple of posts, is that no matter how good I am with women, I sometimes tend to develop a "ONEITIS" over a girl that I REALLY like, which backfires on me eventually. Right now I'm on another level as far as game goes, so I'm able to control it a lot more. I also recognize the problem now, and am a pretty inteligent fella, so I'll definitely observe my own damn behavior on this from now on.

Second observation, this may be a coincidance, but ONLY after I totally lost all contact with the previos person I fell hard for, was I able to fall for another one. In other words, I had girlfriend in between while I was still talking to my ex's that I LIKED, but never really felt much for those girlfriends. But once I TOTALLY cut contact off, I was able to find new love. Take it for what it's worth, but DO NOT stay in contact with ex's that you felt strongly about. I reverse the game on girls now, and find reasons to cut contact. They give us bull**** reasons for things sometimes and I do the same. For example, 2 years ago my ex. invited me to her b-day party with some friends, and after I got there, and called her, her friend answered the phone and told me she was "not there". 10 mins later she calls me and asks where I'm at. This was a great reason for me and I didn't loose this chance to end it all with her. I told her I felt disrespected and that I whish I didn't have further contact with her. You move on a lot easier.

Be smart when you start dating 'em, do not get too serious or see 'em too often. If there are HUGE red flags, leave 'em man.

 

[alphajosh22]

man, you hit right on the button, its crazy but i just erased all her emails and i threw away her phone number, and it feels like i just took this bigweight of my back.i already feel better about the whole situation. For the most part its a temporary feeling for me, it not the first time that its happened, so i know that it goes away. But i don't want to expose myself to bad situations especially if i know what it can lead to. thanks for the advice, it defintely helped me see things in another light. thnks bro.

 

[Bible_Belt]

My ex-wife was clinically depressed. She said that she planned on killing herself every day, and I was very close to coming home from work to find a corpse. I am generally against anti-depressant drugs, but they seem to be the only thing that keeps her from being suicidal.

When you are with someone who is so messed up, the natural tendency is to in part blame yourself, but as you have found, after the relationship is over, the crazy chick is just as crazy without you.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by alphajosh22
as much as i hate to admit it, for some reason i have this tendency to get emotionally involved with women that have issues? sometimes they are not exactly visible at first glance, but for the most part i spot them long before the disaster strikes. for example, the last chick that i dated was 23 years old, lhad two kids, and lived at the kids dad mothers house). the girl was a nice girl, but man was she messed up. her whole situation was messed up. for example the dads mom would disrespect and talk **** to her, make her cry, the kids dad would also so the same. (i just heard today that they are getting married by the way)anyways, she would tell me, and it was like i was slowly getting dragged into their problem. i had plenty of these red flags come up before we even stopped seeing each other, but for some reason i ignored them!!

now that its over i realize that i was in denial the whole time. it freakin pisses me off that i invested so much of my time and energy with these women that only ended up giving me heartaches and grief. these girls have bigger problems than me. another example, this otehr chick that i dated a couple years ago had just gotten out of a long abusive relationship. the guy was bipolar, clinically depresses and he would go crazy on her. yet she left me to go back with him. I now realize that im in a much better place now, but i am still amazed at how naive and blind i was throughout the whole ordeal. its crazy but even when i was seeing these women, i was sorounded by other women, but becuase they probably weren't as good looking(these girls weren't hb 10 either) i ignored them and continued with the damaged goods. anyways i want to ask you guys what you think my problem is. if any of you guys have gone through this or know what i am talkin about, i would greatly appreciate hearing from you guys. peace.

All women has issues..