Have you ever wondered why some women will do almost anything to secure a man who fits the internet's definition of an "alpha"?
A high value man but who doesn't really listen to them, doesn't make them feel seen, and often doesn't prioritize their emotional needs, but He is always climbing and searching for status, achievements, and high position in the hierarchy.
Over the years, I've seen many relationships that seem to confirm this pattern. (And you can confirm too given your own experiences)
If we use the terms "alpha" and "beta orbiter," then these are the two characters in the story. (alpha and beta are just internet terms to get the idea)
A woman, from her teenage years onward, meets many men. She mentally categorizes them.
She might think, "B is a good man, but A is the alpha. He's the one I want."
She invests her energy into pursuing A. (yes women see a man as an investment)
Ten years later, in her mid to late twenties, she's proud of all the effort she has put into maintaining that relationship.
Now come the next steps: living together, marriage, children, responsibilities, and long term commitments.
A has proven himself to be successful. He has status, a social circle, respect, money, influence, power, and attention from other women.
Over the years, she has tried to soften him, to make him more attentive and more emotionally available. Perhaps he changes a little. He becomes somewhat more considerate, a somewhat better listener.
Yet he never comes close to making her feel the way she does when talking to B or any man that actually listen to her.
Meanwhile, B has built a stable life of his own. He has a good job, his own home. He still single and He doesn't have the same status as A, but he has a small circle of genuine friends, meaningful hobbies, and a peaceful life.
Years later, the woman finds herself in her late thirties or early forties. She's a wife and a mother, carrying much of the burden of keeping the family together. She no longer feels deeply connected to A, even though he is still a man she respects and who can still excite her in the ways He always did, but She has spent years trying to change him, but in the end, he remains who he has always been.
Eventually, she leaves. (walkaway wife "WAW")
She tells herself, and others, that A is selfish, distant, impossible to live with. And she turns toward B.
What B often doesn't realize is that he was part of the game all along. He had qualities that A never possessed. His kindness, reliability, and emotional presence were valuable in ways he never fully appreciated.
Also, maybe He spent years comparing himself to A, not realizing that he had strengths of his own and that he, too, could become a high value man.
The woman may still miss certain aspects of A. Some emotional stuff and excitement never fully disappear. (more details in Desdinova's High Score Theory)
But for the first time in her life, she feels truly seen, truly heard, and genuinely understood by a man.
And that feeling is powerful enough that she would willingly give up many of the things that A once provided.
A high value man but who doesn't really listen to them, doesn't make them feel seen, and often doesn't prioritize their emotional needs, but He is always climbing and searching for status, achievements, and high position in the hierarchy.
Over the years, I've seen many relationships that seem to confirm this pattern. (And you can confirm too given your own experiences)
If we use the terms "alpha" and "beta orbiter," then these are the two characters in the story. (alpha and beta are just internet terms to get the idea)
A woman, from her teenage years onward, meets many men. She mentally categorizes them.
She might think, "B is a good man, but A is the alpha. He's the one I want."
She invests her energy into pursuing A. (yes women see a man as an investment)
Ten years later, in her mid to late twenties, she's proud of all the effort she has put into maintaining that relationship.
Now come the next steps: living together, marriage, children, responsibilities, and long term commitments.
A has proven himself to be successful. He has status, a social circle, respect, money, influence, power, and attention from other women.
Over the years, she has tried to soften him, to make him more attentive and more emotionally available. Perhaps he changes a little. He becomes somewhat more considerate, a somewhat better listener.
Yet he never comes close to making her feel the way she does when talking to B or any man that actually listen to her.
Meanwhile, B has built a stable life of his own. He has a good job, his own home. He still single and He doesn't have the same status as A, but he has a small circle of genuine friends, meaningful hobbies, and a peaceful life.
Years later, the woman finds herself in her late thirties or early forties. She's a wife and a mother, carrying much of the burden of keeping the family together. She no longer feels deeply connected to A, even though he is still a man she respects and who can still excite her in the ways He always did, but She has spent years trying to change him, but in the end, he remains who he has always been.
Eventually, she leaves. (walkaway wife "WAW")
She tells herself, and others, that A is selfish, distant, impossible to live with. And she turns toward B.
What B often doesn't realize is that he was part of the game all along. He had qualities that A never possessed. His kindness, reliability, and emotional presence were valuable in ways he never fully appreciated.
Also, maybe He spent years comparing himself to A, not realizing that he had strengths of his own and that he, too, could become a high value man.
The woman may still miss certain aspects of A. Some emotional stuff and excitement never fully disappear. (more details in Desdinova's High Score Theory)
But for the first time in her life, she feels truly seen, truly heard, and genuinely understood by a man.
And that feeling is powerful enough that she would willingly give up many of the things that A once provided.
