I'm going to bet that a lot of guys here can relate to this...
As we all know, most, if not all women are attracted to a man who embraces his sexuality. Most women want to be swept into an exciting fantasy, have a man who takes control, leads them out of their comfort zone...a man who is edgy, unafraid, impulsive. A man who we all aspire to be.
But then you meet a woman, you know this is what she wants, but whenever you try to show that side of you she raises her guard. She doesn't want to be played, pumped and dumped, so she shuts down the sexual advances and flirting and tries to continue interactions on a more platonic way.
This shifts the power into her hands, because now she considers herself the gate keeper. If we want sex from her, we must then abide by her rules.
So as men, we're left with two choices. We either walk away, thus affirming to her we were "only after one thing" or we persist on her terms. Both are losing situations. In the latter case, if we continue on a platonic level, we find ourselves slipping into the friendzone and becoming the type of asexual nice guy she doesn't find attractive.
I notice most women like this are single for long periods. They want a specific type of man, and yet when he's standing right in front of her, they either push him away or they try to change him into someone that repulses her.
I was reviewing a lot of my dates and exes recently and I realise all those that have been successful are the ones where I've been openly sexual and flirtatious. That's not to say I talk 100% sex. I go through the usual getting to know each other routine, have good conversation, good laughs, yet when I've made innuendos or suggestive comments, they've been reciprocated...or at least not rejected. I've fvcked these women quite soon into the dating and the last thing they would perceive me to be is a nice guy. To these women, I'm a bad boy, I'm rugged, masculine, sexual and impulsive. I'm the kind of guy who swept them off their feet and led them to new experiences.
However, whenever I'm shut down from making sexual advances, I often get rejected on the grounds I'm too nice or I get LJBF. These women perceive me as an asexual AFC...but that's their fault, because they were the ones who refused to interact on a sexual level.
This even happened in my relationships. For example, my last relationship started out intensly sexual. I fvcked her on the first date, led her astray and we kept trying new things and it was amazing. As the relationship got serious, the sex started to dwindle, get less and she expressed she wanted more from me - responsibility, stability etc, and as I gave in to her demands, I became less sexual and more of an AFC lapdog. And you can guess what happened...I got dumped.
Unfortunately, there is no avoiding this paradox with some girls. They're their own worst enemy. Sometimes you can find the right balance of getting to know her, laughs and conversation and gradual escalation towards sex. But sometimes women are just too guarded. As men, we will often blame ourselves for acting "too nice" or blowing an opportunity, and yet a lot of the time she gives us no choice and it's doomed before you even started.
I'm just putting this out there as a personal realisation from my own experiences, but would appreciate any feedback on these kinds of situations and if you guys have a good way of breaking down those barriers.
As we all know, most, if not all women are attracted to a man who embraces his sexuality. Most women want to be swept into an exciting fantasy, have a man who takes control, leads them out of their comfort zone...a man who is edgy, unafraid, impulsive. A man who we all aspire to be.
But then you meet a woman, you know this is what she wants, but whenever you try to show that side of you she raises her guard. She doesn't want to be played, pumped and dumped, so she shuts down the sexual advances and flirting and tries to continue interactions on a more platonic way.
This shifts the power into her hands, because now she considers herself the gate keeper. If we want sex from her, we must then abide by her rules.
So as men, we're left with two choices. We either walk away, thus affirming to her we were "only after one thing" or we persist on her terms. Both are losing situations. In the latter case, if we continue on a platonic level, we find ourselves slipping into the friendzone and becoming the type of asexual nice guy she doesn't find attractive.
I notice most women like this are single for long periods. They want a specific type of man, and yet when he's standing right in front of her, they either push him away or they try to change him into someone that repulses her.
I was reviewing a lot of my dates and exes recently and I realise all those that have been successful are the ones where I've been openly sexual and flirtatious. That's not to say I talk 100% sex. I go through the usual getting to know each other routine, have good conversation, good laughs, yet when I've made innuendos or suggestive comments, they've been reciprocated...or at least not rejected. I've fvcked these women quite soon into the dating and the last thing they would perceive me to be is a nice guy. To these women, I'm a bad boy, I'm rugged, masculine, sexual and impulsive. I'm the kind of guy who swept them off their feet and led them to new experiences.
However, whenever I'm shut down from making sexual advances, I often get rejected on the grounds I'm too nice or I get LJBF. These women perceive me as an asexual AFC...but that's their fault, because they were the ones who refused to interact on a sexual level.
This even happened in my relationships. For example, my last relationship started out intensly sexual. I fvcked her on the first date, led her astray and we kept trying new things and it was amazing. As the relationship got serious, the sex started to dwindle, get less and she expressed she wanted more from me - responsibility, stability etc, and as I gave in to her demands, I became less sexual and more of an AFC lapdog. And you can guess what happened...I got dumped.
Unfortunately, there is no avoiding this paradox with some girls. They're their own worst enemy. Sometimes you can find the right balance of getting to know her, laughs and conversation and gradual escalation towards sex. But sometimes women are just too guarded. As men, we will often blame ourselves for acting "too nice" or blowing an opportunity, and yet a lot of the time she gives us no choice and it's doomed before you even started.
I'm just putting this out there as a personal realisation from my own experiences, but would appreciate any feedback on these kinds of situations and if you guys have a good way of breaking down those barriers.
