Women Who Re-explores Her First Love!?!?

[realdeal]

Hi,

I have been dating this women for the past 2 years. Her mom hates me. Her dad and sister love me. we got engaged after two years. A month ago she went back to her country with her mom. I also travelled there a couple weeks into her vacation on sort of a suprise just to see her. Her mom found out later and is pissed and thinks I am a lier. Ha! When I arrived she was all over me for the 1st 2 days of seven. Then the rest of my stay was hell because I had to put up with her confusion for the rest of my stay. The problem is she told me she ran into this guy that she knew before she moved here that first took her virginity. They were never physical on her vacation but of course they talked and she says she is very confused now about who she loves. I took the ring back from her before I returned so she knows I mean business. She returned several days later. I have been together with her physically numberous times since she has returned always insisting I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her husband. She always seems to get into my head though because she is still communicating with this other guy half way around the world! Something that would make any guy jealous! Now I know I am the better man. I was with her yesterday making sure I made my point in the bedroom!! (if you know what I mean). Today I gave her 5 roses telling her these signifiy the 5 days that we will be apart and they also signify the 5 things that I find special about you...... which i went on to list (A bit corny I know but if she wants space it is on my terms!!!)...Now I will give her complete silence for at least 5 days. The reason I am unsure of my next move is because this cherade started a month ago. A couple of weeks back I did the same thing, and she pulled me back by being physical with me then a couple of days later claiming she was unsure. She had told me a couple of times that she loves me still. I have told her that I only want to be with her if she is 100% with me and I don't want to be her friend, and to stop dangling me along like a doormat. I am no fool and call me crazy, but I think this is a natural response for someone about to get married. What do you people think?

also.. How do I make this more intense for her? I'm sure she will call before the 5th day but should I wait until maybe the 7th to call or return her call?

Do you guys think she would really take the risk on this loser she hardly knows or will she realize what she has to lose?

Do you think this is an ordinary reaction for her since she will possibly marry me because she wants to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am the one?


Responses from men and women are appreciated!! I hope some of you have had the same thing happen to you!

Thanks,

JAL

 

[FRëSHURE]

Originally posted by realdeal
Hi,

I have been dating this women for the past 2 years. Her mom hates me. Her dad and sister love me. we got engaged after two years. A month ago she went back to her country with her mom. I also travelled there a couple weeks into her vacation on sort of a suprise just to see her. Her mom found out later and is pissed and thinks I am a lier. Ha! When I arrived she was all over me for the 1st 2 days of seven. Then the rest of my stay was hell because I had to put up with her confusion for the rest of my stay. The problem is she told me she ran into this guy that she knew before she moved here that first took her virginity. They were never physical on her vacation but of course they talked and she says she is very confused now about who she loves. I took the ring back from her before I returned so she knows I mean business. She returned several days later. I have been together with her physically numberous times since she has returned always insisting I don't want to be her friend, I want to be her husband. She always seems to get into my head though because she is still communicating with this other guy half way around the world! Something that would make any guy jealous! Now I know I am the better man. I was with her yesterday making sure I made my point in the bedroom!! (if you know what I mean). Today I gave her 5 roses telling her these signifiy the 5 days that we will be apart and they also signify the 5 things that I find special about you...... which i went on to list (A bit corny I know but if she wants space it is on my terms!!!)...Now I will give her complete silence for at least 5 days. The reason I am unsure of my next move is because this cherade started a month ago. A couple of weeks back I did the same thing, and she pulled me back by being physical with me then a couple of days later claiming she was unsure. She had told me a couple of times that she loves me still. I have told her that I only want to be with her if she is 100% with me and I don't want to be her friend, and to stop dangling me along like a doormat. I am no fool and call me crazy, but I think this is a natural response for someone about to get married. What do you people think?

also.. How do I make this more intense for her? I'm sure she will call before the 5th day but should I wait until maybe the 7th to call or return her call?

Do you guys think she would really take the risk on this loser she hardly knows or will she realize what she has to lose?

Do you think this is an ordinary reaction for her since she will possibly marry me because she wants to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am the one?


Responses from men and women are appreciated!! I hope some of you have had the same thing happen to you!

Thanks,

JAL

Sounds like you have a fair grasp on your sh*t.

Basically, I think you cut all contact with her, and tell her that if she is 100% certain that its you she wants, she you know, and things go back to normal. following that, another mention of confusion, or this guy, and you walk away. and tell her that you will.

marrige is a giant step. and i wish you luck with it.

but be prepared to walk away now, before its happened.

if she isn't with you 100% marrying her will not keep her. so your better to walk away now before all the money/time blown.

if she is with you 100%, you have nothing to worry about.

don't play her games.

 

[Lost In Translation]

ok you need to have a complete no BS grasp on whats happening

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their dycks is not in my picture. “

ok this is wisdom right here and it tells you she is not 100% into you

this is going to hurt but it's the truth

YOU ARE HER SECOND CHOICE

the dude that took her virginity is her first choice and who she REALLY wants to marry

YOU ARE HER BACKUP PLAN

Quote : realdeal
When I arrived she was all over me for the 1st 2 days of seven. Then the rest of my stay was hell because I had to put up with her confusion for the rest of my stay. The problem is she told me she ran into this guy that she knew before she moved here that first took her virginity. They were never physical on her vacation but of course they talked and she says she is very confused now about who she loves.

she was all over you. you with her for years. you engaged.

now she is your woman but she all of a sudden gets confused ?

what changed ?

she said she ran into the guy who took her virginity back in 1972

long time before she was with you

she only talks to him *cough bull$hit*

now she is confused

THE TRUTH :

she has always kept contact with her ex. via email since 1972.

she has always told him she loves him and planned to be with him since he left.

YOU WERE HER REPLACMENT KILLER

she brought you in to do a job ( sex ) while her no.1 was on leave

now watch closely

she goes on vacation ( 10 points if you figure out she asked for the destination from her parents )

and out of all the places she chooses for a holiday

on this entire f*cking planet

she chooses the place where her ex lives

this proves they have been in communicado this entire time waiting to line things up

SHE HAS SEX WITH HER EX AGAIN

He planned it. they talked about in emails since 1972. she wanted it.

Now she is confused

BECAUSE SEX HAS A DEEP IPACT ON HALF HONEST B*TCHES

her confusion is this

SHE WANS TO MARRY HER EX BUT DISTANCE IS A PROBLEM

also maybe her ex is not a sap to propose to a wh0re and is just using her for sex

so she knows he is a true player and will never get married

but every woman in the world dreams of getting married

and she likes the social status of being engaged

SO HER REAL DILEMA IS :

how do i get my ex to marry me

how do i keep my current bf on lock down till i figure it out incase i need him as a backup plan

GET RID OF THIS WH0RE

REMOVE ALL ILLUSIONS FROM YOUR MIND

SHE IS A H0 AND SHE IS TRYING TO JACK YOU

KEEP HER ONLINE FOR A BOOTY CALL IF YOU GOT GAME

replace her with 3 fresh faces as soon as possible

best of luck my fellow Don Juan


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[Viking25]

Realdeal....you have to realize that no relationship will always be perfect. That said.....your fiance is having doubts and that is a perfectly good reason to cool things off and start exploring other options. You deserve someone who is 100% in love with you..without doubts,someone you don't have to play games with...someone you feel happy with. Leave the h0 with her games....few years from now you'll be thinking: " WTF was I thinking?!...it was such a waste of my life!..and now I am trully happy!"

 

[Centaurion]

holy sh*t mate, LIT is back.

realdeal : listen to this guy, he knows his sh*t

 

[DJ Alejandro]

i have to say something. this is too much.

ive been away for a while. a long while. but after reading this dilemma, cant help but share my thoughts.

ok.. youre in one hell of a bad situation right now.

know what LIT said? hes right. keeping things real the non-dj way, he might be a little 1% off in what he said about your situation. but i tell you.. its what you need to know.

LIT has just told you the things you needed to hear. viking also has a point.

take heed. you have to be sure in what you do. something which this girl isnt is right now.

truth hurts. but now isnt the best time to think about marriage with this girl.

dont let your emotions blind you from the truth. she can easily be swayed by hers.

think of it this way. lets say the both of you do get married. but then by accident meets the guy again. think of the long term. and so far, until she doesnt get over it, youre bound to get into a lot of trouble.

 

[Desdinova]

I can't believe you're still considering marrying this woman. She made a commitment to you when she said "Yes" and accepted that ring. Now, she is clearly making a conscious decision about returning to her ex. She KNOWS she shouldn't be talking to her ex because she made a commitment to you, but she's doing it anyway. She is betraying her promise to marry you, and you still think it's a good idea to be marrying her?

Her IL in you has dropped. The reason could be anything, but she's clearly not interested in marrying you anymore. What you're doing right now is grabbing at strings to bring her IL back up. It's only going to have the opposite effect. The more you pull her toward a commitment that she doesn't want, the more she's going to consider going back to her ex who doesn't want that commitment.

You're best off continuing to break off the engagement, and toss this b1tch to the curb. She's not worth the amount of money you've already spent on her.

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by Desdinova
You're best off continuing to break off the engagement, and toss this b1tch to the curb. She's not worth the amount of money you've already spent on her.

Besides, if she DOES marry you, she'll just cheat on you later on. She's prone - it's obvious.

~Vibe~

 

[frivolousz21]

A women have a HUGE HUGE HUGE ATTACHEMENT TO THE GUY WHO TAKES HER VIRGINITY

 

[DonJuanMonk]

I know what I'd do, I'd get the fck outta there - too much drama.

 

[Tazman]

A women have a HUGE HUGE HUGE ATTACHEMENT TO THE GUY WHO TAKES HER VIRGINITY

Based on what I've seen, this seems to be a popular "myth." I have a close friend I grew up with and he and his gf took each other's virginity. I remember going out with them a few times and at times she would sit there and stare at me (almost without blinking) to the point where I'd get uncomfortable because my friend would be right next to her. Maybe I had mustard on my face*shrug*.

Needless to say, she wanted to "explore" other guys and eventually left him. Where's that magical bond I hear of?

 

[frivolousz21]

she wanted to "explore" other guys and eventually left him. Where's that magical bond I hear of?

she prolly want a virgin and lied to him.

women who fall in love and lose there virgnity to a guy are glued to him like crack.

 

[penkitten]

re exploring an old love is the same as oneitis.

 

[nectarine]

It tends not to apply at the time. It's a rose-tinted spectacles thing, looking back.

I agree with LIT. It's harsh but it's logic you have to have equipped.

Except first, I seriously doubt they've been in touch ever since, more likely they got back in touch recently somehow, and second, she didnt randomly pick where her ex is to holiday - it's her hometown, she was with her mom. If her mom hates you, it's likely she encouraged her daughter to go to her ex and probably furnished her with a number, and you can rest assured the mom is busy pouring her input into her daughters ear on a regular basis, on how unworthy you are and great the ex is. Some moms are like that. That's why she was pissed when you turned up; she didn't want you around while she hooked her daughter back up with her ex.

She's obviously a silly cow, thinking about her ex after so long.

What I'd suggest is talking to the sister who loves you. She may cover for her though. Don't bother with the dad, he won't know ****, dads never do.

The whole 'confusion' thing is a womans codeword for 'we ****ed and I liked it'.

 

[realdeal]

Originally posted by nectarine
It tends not to apply at the time. It's a rose-tinted spectacles thing, looking back.


Except first, I seriously doubt they've been in touch ever since, more likely they got back in touch recently somehow, and second, she didnt randomly pick where her ex is to holiday - it's her hometown, she was with her mom. If her mom hates you, it's likely she encouraged her daughter to go to her ex and probably furnished her with a number, and you can rest assured the mom is busy pouring her input into her daughters ear on a regular basis, on how unworthy you are and great the ex is. Some moms are like that. That's why she was pissed when you turned up; she didn't want you around while she hooked her daughter back up with her ex.

She's obviously a silly cow, thinking about her ex after so long.

Nectarine....I like your reply the best. This exactly what it is. Her grandpa was sick so she went back to her country with her mom to see him and somehow he discovered she was in town (her mom...EXACTLY!!)..... Anyways I know from experience not to fret over this cow...so Im not calling her cause i know i am money. I know she will call for sure after the weekend. When she calls for anything else other than to tell me we are back together i'm gonna flip and tell her i'm not her friend!!

any other input is appreciated.....

 

[Lost In Translation]

i had a redux for my post after i wrote it but i thought i would let the pot simmer

yes after i wrote it i realised she was just returning to her old country.

and the mother in law

what wicked dragons some of them are

no $hit i booted a chick once because as much as i thought she was cool i couldn't stand the idea of having any contact with her evil mother

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81812&highlight=mother

same situation

and whats funny is her mother was the one who tried to get rid of me

her mother was also the one who arranged a new guy who would marry her straight away


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[EquityPrivate]

http://www.ids.org.au/~mdmsmith/images/notmine/run_forrest.jpg

 

[DJ Alejandro]

MONSTER-in-law.