"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Women who expect men to continually initiate contact

For_F

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Have you guys experienced women who expect you to be calling/messaging them first almost all the time so they don't feel like slvts or desperates?

Or is this purely girls playing games and not interested in you? For example, she won't ring you but if you do she's down and keen as mustard to see you. Are some girls just really bad initiators?

I remember some girls I met at college who were so shy or reserved that they would rarely contact their crush or interest and if the guy never contacted them they would create this scenario in their head that the guy no longer cares and pretty much next the guy while never putting their thoughts out to the guy who was nexted.

Girl im tuning atm seems like this type but Im not going to be initiating contact all the time because I feel lame and oneitis-like even though Im 'seeing' three other girls.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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bigneil

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Some girls initiate more, but all girls initiate with guys they have high attraction to.

A new rule for men is that after a date, if the woman doesn't initiate contact (i.e. to at least thank you) it's over. This is a sad trend as it's the opposite of what it used to be. Not to say she'd necessarily be more happy to hear from him then, but the man had more control then.
 

For_F

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bigneil said:
Some girls initiate more, but all girls initiate with guys they have high attraction to.

A new rule for men is that after a date, if the woman doesn't initiate contact (i.e. to at least thank you) it's over. This is a sad trend as it's the opposite of what it used to be. Not to say she'd necessarily be more happy to hear from him then, but the man had more control then.
Oddly enough I had a date last week and she messaged me two hours after the date saying what a great night she had. I replied saying Im glad you did so did I. I haven't rang her since then wanting her to initiate :/
 

bigneil

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For_F said:
Oddly enough I had a date last week and she messaged me two hours after the date saying what a great night she had. I replied saying Im glad you did so did I. I haven't rang her since then wanting her to initiate :/
In this case the ball is in your court. She thanked you, you said you're welcome (which is ideal so she knows you were cool with everything also). Just ask her out again in a week.
 

MisterD

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Yeah it happens and I usually next them for it after a while. In the initial stages I don't mind doing it, but eventually they have to pull their share of the work load, and if you can't take 20 seconds out of your day to send me a text; odds are you're not all that crazy about the idea of sleeping with me--so into the "next" pile you go.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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For_F

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It just fvcking sucks that slvts who interest me only for one thing I can 'play the game' easily but my damn afc tendencies flare up when Im very interested in a particular woman.

If a slvt doesn't initiate contact - big deal right? Slvts are common. But when there's a girl who I assume is of decent character and attractive and we click, if she doesn't reply to my calls or messages or show initiation - WWIII explodes in my head. It's such a negative to my game and even.mental health. No way should i be obsessive like that over a girl I just met.
 

Financed

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For_F said:
It just fvcking sucks that slvts who interest me only for one thing I can 'play the game' easily but my damn afc tendencies flare up when Im very interested in a particular woman.

If a slvt doesn't initiate contact - big deal right? Slvts are common. But when there's a girl who I assume is of decent character and attractive and we click, if she doesn't reply to my calls or messages or show initiation - WWIII explodes in my head. It's such a negative to my game and even.mental health. No way should i be obsessive like that over a girl I just met.
I'm with you on this. I get the old AFC thoughts swarming my mind but I don't let it take over. Just take a deep breath and find something to take your mind off of it. Preferably another female!
 

VladPatton

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I think you should be the initiator, then see if she follows up on HER original signs of interest. Like MisterD said, if she can't take 20 secs out to say hi via text, then the interest tapered off. It happens. I just had this happen to me. Oh the signs, the giggles, the long eye contact, it was all there. But when it came down to going out, she refused twice and never sent one text in a entire month. Why would I chase her like a dog in heat? Phuck that. Number deleted, and nexted.
So initiate, and see if you get something back. If not, something is not firing on all cylinders. She could just love the attention.
 

ArcBound

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Doesn't necessarily mean interest is gone, it's just absence of a positive signal, but the absence of it doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

Some girls just don't show much initiation but will still go out with you and escalate. It's just up to you whether it is acceptable from your woman or not.

If she's playing games she won't go out with you and would never let you escalate. You figure out if she's playing games or not by going on dates with her and escalating.
 

Skalioppe

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Some woman are just plain weird about men instigating contact.

One girl I know hardly ever starts communications, however, if I contact her first it's like an avalanche and some serious text ping pong occurs. Maybe it's out of politeness, who knows?

When women ignore you, you feel obliged to chase. I've tried the no chase and sometimes it works and works well, other times you end up being largely forgotten about. I suppose the secret it balance and reading the situation.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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