women that dont keep their word

[foreverace87]

I live in a college town and met a HB7 ( she is 21) and did her several times. Before school starts, she went home (Minneapolis) for ten days. Its about 3 hours from here, I figured it be a good opportunity for me to visit the city for the day and for her to show me around so she agreed. The day before i was about to go she send me a text

Her: "I am not sure if you still want to come down :/ I am going to be really busy"

Me: "Alright, plan B then, on to National Glacier Park"

...an hour later

Her: I am really sorry. Please don't hate me.

Two Questions

a) Did I respond appropriately?

b) How busy can you be for someone you are fvcking the brains out of?

 

[jay07]

A) yes
B) she proby is gonna be busy with family and friends. and probly ex boyfriend from back home.

who cares? let her do her thing and you do yours.

 

[Poop1337]

You made a few game mistakes. Planning something so far ahead. Driving 3 hours to see her. Letting her show you around... Like she even knows her way around plus never put them in that position it's an attraction killer.

I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll bang her when she gets back

 

[foreverace87]

You made a few game mistakes. Planning something so far ahead. Driving 3 hours to see her. Letting her show you around... Like she even knows her way around plus never put them in that position it's an attraction killer.

I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll bang her when she gets back

How would that be an attraction killer? Isn't it valid to let a woman invest some of her time into you?

 

[dasein]

I don't see anything done wrong here. Great response with the on to glacier park thing. Perfect actually. Do let her be the one to escalate towards more familiarity.

It's a pink flag IMO with the "don't hate me" text of hers. Women who think and express themselves in that "are you mad at me? hate me" way have been poor bets for anything other than very casual IME. Good luck.

 

[Poop1337]

It's not a good idea to put them in charge of an activity like showing you around. Means she'd have to suggest where to eat, what to see etc. I understand she's from that city you're not but the point still stands. If you wanted to see the city you should have planned something's using internet research and invited her to join you.

I agree the are you mad at me thing is a bad sign as it's so commonly the precursor to more bs. Really though you should just be casual with this girl for now. You did have a good response when she canceled realize the are you mad questions are a **** test. Don't get caught up in explaining you're not mad. Just either say no or ignore it or tease her yes real mad grrrr is what I would do

 

[foreverace87]

It's not a good idea to put them in charge of an activity like showing you around. Means she'd have to suggest where to eat, what to see etc. I understand she's from that city you're not but the point still stands. If you wanted to see the city you should have planned something's using internet research and invited her to join you.

I agree the are you mad at me thing is a bad sign as it's so commonly the precursor to more bs. Really though you should just be casual with this girl for now. You did have a good response when she canceled realize the are you mad questions are a **** test. Don't get caught up in explaining you're not mad. Just either say no or ignore it or tease her yes real mad grrrr is what I would do

Be casual with her? As in do her? Honestly, I dont mind just doing her, but some girls catch up on that and start feeling like sluts if all you are doing is fvcking them and not doing anything else.

 

[hudpes]

To recap: You did her a few times and now she went back home for 10 days and you couldn't wait it out, so you wanted to take a 3 hour drive to see her and take a tour of the wonderful Minneapolis, kill two flies with one swing. You don't see anything wrong with that? She responded with: you can come see the city, but I don't have time to play the guide, we can go for a drink though.

You were indirect, instead of telling her you want to come **** her (which is still a bad move, but a notch better), you've planted an excuse that you are interested in her b*tchin' home town so you won't be just driving to see her. She understood that you want to go see the town and visit her while you're there. Now that she's somewhat unavailable, you've lost all interest in Minneapolis, is that right?

The response you gave her then was totally fine, don't worry about it.

 

[logicallefty]

I would go NC for a while. Even after she is back in your town, don't respond if she contacts you. She sounds kinda insecure with her "don't hate me thing". Use that to your advantage.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Poop

Is she a FB back in college, or do you guys go out and do $hit together as well?

Meeting her back home, and having her show you around, is relationship type crap, and/or could be considered smothering her.

Give her the break to see friends and family, while you do the same and/or go find some new plates. Enjoy the time off all while knowing once she gets back into town she'll be back fvcking your brains out. For the meantime: "Give her the gift of missing you." -David D.

Like was mentioned before, it would me more acceptable if she's sending the invite, as in: "You should come meet me, it would be great, there's some places Id like to show you!! I'll make it worth the drive, promise!! "

Otherwise, that's a lot of pressure, to find time for you, and be a tour guide. Is she staying with her parents? She'd also have to deal with that whole scenario. They'd be asking her questions. Would she introduce you to them? Would you two guys fvck somewhere?

Lot's of crap that would add to her already filled up schedule of visiting home before she goes off to college, unless you were some type of exclusive boyfriend. Even then, inviting yourself to her home town, or even accepting the invite, is somewhere along the lines of beta. She should be begging you to allow her to show you her hometown and introduce you to her friends. Otherwise, keep that $hit separate.

And yes, I feel you handled her cancellation just great.

 

[Poop1337]

Don't worry about making her feel like a slut. People are giving you good observations in this thread.

My point was simply this entire thing was a bad idea you should have just waited till she got back to town so it would be more casual I'm coming to see you tonight instead of this in traveling 3 hours be my tour guide stuff.

 

[The_411]

I do see mistakes. You should never let a woman show you around.* Think about the connotation. She's leading you which is a big no-no under the biological imperative for male and female roles. You coming to see her is also showing neediness. Had you been going to Minneapolis for school, or work, or to tour for grad school etc., and said perhaps we can meet up you'd be in a lot better shape because she wouldn't feel the pressure of meeting you because you came just to see her. She'd be a part of your trip but not the sole reason for your trip. The whole wanting to see Minneapolis doesn't fit well as an excuse to see her.

She could be busy or she's seeing an old BF there or she's dating there, or doesn't want her parents/friends/family to meet you. Could be a 1001 and one reasons. This is one of those where she's not comfortable having her old world and imagine collide with her current world and new image, or as mentioned she doesn't want people to know she's so casual/cavalier about sex.

*always exceptions but if you live for exceptions you'll be playing long odds.

 

[foreverace87]

Alright bros, looks like I got my answers and adding this to my list of thing learned

Here is the moral of the story:

a) DON'T let a woman lead you, in ANY scenario - it really is an attraction killer.

b) Don't make plans that are centered around them - make YOUR plans and if she wants to be part of it she will let you know

c) BE DIRECT. If you are going to come up with some BVLL ****T excuse to fvck her, she will see RIGHT THROUGH it.

d) Women have complicated lives, keep her personal vs casual life SEPARATE. She has another identity when she is around family and friends. She may be a freak in bed, but she could be an angel in front of everyone else.


Violation of any of the above could lead to Beta behavior, stay clear of it.

THANKS to EVERYONE that responded!