"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Women talking about exes on first dates

flowtheory

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What are your guys’ thoughts on this?

The last three first dates I’ve been on have all mentioned past guys or exes on the first interaction, or even over the phone. All have been 30-32 years old.
Is it a sign of low interest on their part?
2 of 3 of the women have had exes with drinking/slight drug addition problems. And the other one thought it was very important to talk about exes because it made us who we are.
Met all three via tinder.

I’ve read several articles saying it’s a good thing, but I am slightly sceptical, as what is the point?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Billtx49

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Sign of rebound situation or alpha widow
Yes, she’s still not completely over an Ex if it comes up that soon…
It’s usually revealed at 20-60 days in when she’s comfortable enough to reveal her dating past.
 
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lamath

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Sign of rebound situation or alpha widow
From past experience rebounds can be very fun and more impulsive.

Alpha widow not sure i ever met one in my past.
But from what ive read they seems like dmg good
 

Billtx49

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Alpha widow not sure i ever met one in my past.
But from what ive read they seems like dmg good
Not necessarily damaged goods, but you will be compared to a at least a fairly high level past Alpha, and if she feels like she’s dating down, you’re usually out…
 

Roober

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I would agree that it's odd to come up so soon. Although, if it is just an offhand comment and that's the end of it, I may just dismiss it.

I dont believe this as black and white as the answer you are seeking. I would treat it as a case by case basis.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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devilkingx2

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Depends on the context

Was she comparing you two heavily? Ranting about him for no reason? Brought him up out of the blue? Reminded of him by random things or triggerred by unrelated things like she has PTSD or misses him? Speaking of him very positively or very negatively?

All of the above is a red flag of varying intensity, but there's nothing wrong with her bringing it up if it's actually legitimately relevant to the topic/subject at hand and if she doesn't dwell/linger or get super emotional


2 of 3 of the women have had exes with drinking/slight drug addition problems.
How the **** does that even come up on a first date??? Are these women new to having fun?


And the other one thought it was very important to talk about exes because it made us who we are.
Okay that one kinda makes sense. I get it.
 

ubercat

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Careful should be baked into how u operate No woman is g/f before 3 months. No woman is unicorn before 2 years. No thinking required. This is DJ DNA.
 

Mazer

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Could turn into a fwb if played correctly. Be careful if she starts being super clingy, starts acting like you are a couple and cuddling before sex. She is looking to fill that void (her ex) just bang and let her come to you. She will be gone before you know it.
 

Paradiddle

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What are your guys’ thoughts on this?

The last three first dates I’ve been on have all mentioned past guys or exes on the first interaction, or even over the phone. All have been 30-32 years old.
Is it a sign of low interest on their part?
2 of 3 of the women have had exes with drinking/slight drug addition problems. And the other one thought it was very important to talk about exes because it made us who we are.
Met all three via tinder.

I’ve read several articles saying it’s a good thing, but I am slightly sceptical, as what is the point?
Some try to see how you react. If you are non-chalant and prove that there are no ****s given if she brings up her exes in the conversation, she will most probably sleep with you early than you expect. I'm talking out of experience.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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zekko

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I think women are emotional creatures, and as such will spill out with whatever has been affecting their emotions of late.
Maybe they realize logically that talking about exes may not be that good of an idea, they go with their emotions.
I don't think it's necessarily a sign of disrespect, or low interest, although I'm sure some here will argue that ("Would she be talking about her ex with your d!ck in her mouth?"). If it's annoying, some redirection might be called for.
 
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