Women secretly laughing at me

[SteveBlaine]

I have a natural funny disposition about me. Some have told me I would be a good actor or comedian.
I have a quirky way of looking at life. I can be zany and crazy. Its hard to control my high energy which is a fail with most women. However, I am attractive and have been told I look like someone on TV.
Every time I end a date--a woman will say your funny. I guess because I am ballsy and joke around. Sometimes I end in the friend zone and sometimes not.

In my last post I wrote that being calm, cool, and having a bit of an edge gets me laid far more than being a jokester or highly energetic.

I remember I was playing a game of pool at Arizona State University(hottest girls in the country) with some friends and I was being myself and somewhat calm with a beer in my hand and a pool stick in the other.....and this one girl would start laughing at me...I didn't tell any jokes or anything....she would just look at me and laugh and say....your funny. Roll her eyes or something to that effect. Even my friend told her to give it a rest. We both split and I felt a litte humiliated to let her laugh at me. I wanted to take the pool stick and smack her across the face. My friend said she was just being stupid. I get this feeling women are always laughing at me.

One time many years ago at my job in Scottsdale at a hotel I was working and a football player comes walking in with his girl and he had such a badass quality about him. He had a serious look on his face. You didn't want to mess with him. I wanted that "look."
He seemed muscular and like he would throw down in a minute if someone looked at him wrong. Fvck. I want that look.

Any ideas on how to stop the comedian approach? Its hard to be serious all the time, but in order to get respect you have to be serious. Funny guys don't get respect.
I can flip the switch. I have many friends who like my funny approach to life but have seen me lose it. I have been taunted and in many fights back in college. A few of my friends who saw me fight changed their tune about me quickly. I instantly gained their respect when they saw I could throw punches like a badass. I feel that being naturally funny is a good quality --- but people will push it with me --- and that is when I snap.

I feel like I am being secretly laughed at for being me.

 

[TheFixer14]

Just be yourself man. Who cares if some basic b!tch is laughing at you? You don't even want her anyway.

I get that it's impossible to not care what others think 100%. But you gotta realize that you have more important things to think about than that.

And don't compare your insides to someone's outside. The muscular dude could hate himself for all you know.

 

[devilkingx2]

I remember I was playing a game of pool at Arizona State University(hottest girls in the country) with some friends and I was being myself and somewhat calm with a beer in my hand and a pool stick in the other.....and this one girl would start laughing at me...I didn't tell any jokes or anything....she would just look at me and laugh and say....your funny. Roll her eyes or something to that effect.

it kind of sounds like she was high. she just randomly started laughing at nothing?

I get this feeling women are always laughing at me.

just remember that nobody cares, no random stranger cares so much about any other random stranger to mock or insult them for no reason. as soon as you're out of sight they'll forget whatever problem they had with you if they ever had a problem at all

 

[Dan Bautista]

There will always be people making fun of others because they get a kick out of it and it helps uplift themselves. These are the same people who'll piss their pants if you come face-to-face and ask them what's so funny. You can choose to knock their teeth out or just ignore it and go on about your day — latter recommended.

 

[SteveBlaine]

Right on guys. All good posts. Its better to be proactive than to be reactive. I shouldn't care what b*tches think.
That chick probably was probably flying sky high....who knows?
There was a guy on here that commented on my last thread.... who said...."If a girl rejects you ...be cool like a boss. If she accepts you be the same way."
I don't need to pull the trigger on my emotions, but keep them in check. Always. Thanks brahs.

 

[El Payaso]

Don't let them get to you.

You'd be surprised but that football player you saw probably saw you and thought "I wish I could get a more laid back attitude and look like that guy. Everyone always says I look so aggressive or rough and people don't really enjoy socializing with me."

 

[backseatjuan]

Last summer I had these two b1tches living at my place, I invited them from another city, they lived for free plus I fed them, and took them places every night and paid the tap. No sex. Honestly, I thought I'm gonna pick one of them and get married, I'm 35, and it's time already. They too were about my age and it's time for them as well, in theory.

I got tired of bsing and no sex and them wanting to go out without me. So I rigged a phone with program that allows me to listen in on surrounding sound. For android it is called reptilicus.

Basically what I heard flipped my reality upside down. I ended up kicking them out, then next day met a girl online, fvcked her the following day, and we lived together for more than half a year.

I suggest you go this same route, install software that allows you to listen in, get your reality flipped, and take some steps to change things around.

Presently I am not even dating, I don't want to see anyone, for now. I am happy and complete being alone.

 

[zekko]

There's an old saying: If you can make a woman laugh, you can sleep with her.

That said, if you want to be more muscular, simple enough to get a weight training routine started. I might also look at your social calibration if you are coming off as "weird".

If you're funny, go with your strength while minimizing weaknesses.

 

[Roober]

funny is a good thing. You should have taken it in stride. If you feel a woman is insulting you, it is a good time to neg her. Her giving the plug is likely because she wants to fvck you. That is the mindset you have to have.

For example, a text convo i dabbled with yesterday after I invited her out...
Her: I can't stay out late, I can't be out in the dark with a stranger
Me: Ya, probably turn into a werewolf? Ogre? Shrek?
Her: So rude!!! Werewolf for my hair, ogre for my looks, and shrek for being ugly
Me: Crazy! I was right.
Me: That's okay, Shrek is beautiful is his own unique way =D

Needless to say, and she committed to a date tomorrow afternoon. I finished with..

Me: Have to go to bed. night
Her: watch out for ogres, werewolves, and Shrek!
Me: quit stalking me!
Her:

Moral of the story??? You have to roll with the punches! Now text is wayyyy easier than realtime, but it gives you practice. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL! It is either b*ll**** or a complete waste of time

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I kinda wish I was more like how you are right now. At least you feel more free that way.

I know why girls (and people in general) will sometimes do that. It's because everytime they are around you, you do something that makes them laugh, so then they start to associate you with humor. This is operant conditioning.

 

[RedZone]

Honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with being funny. You are who you are. I'm funny and some girls will probably hate that about me and other will love it. Most important thing is you can't change who you are for a girl. A girl it might not even work out with. Never lose yourself.

As for a girl randomly laughing at you, who knows or cares. Maybe she's flirting with you or maybe she thinks you like weird. Only one way to find out.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Have you ever done stand-up? Put yourself under a spotlight, performing in front of a crowd, and see if women don't change their tune about funny not being alpha or respectable.

 

[fastlife]

I remember I was playing a game of pool at Arizona State University(hottest girls in the country) with some friends and I was being myself and somewhat calm with a beer in my hand and a pool stick in the other.....and this one girl would start laughing at me...I didn't tell any jokes or anything....she would just look at me and laugh and say....your funny. Roll her eyes or something to that effect. Even my friend told her to give it a rest. We both split and I felt a litte humiliated to let her laugh at me. I wanted to take the pool stick and smack her across the face. My friend said she was just being stupid. I get this feeling women are always laughing at me.

She was attracted to you lol; obviously trying to get your attention. All you had to do was hold frame (i.e. DGAF about her laughing) and talk to her.

Easy way to flip it would be to make a girl laugh (or even see her laughing across the room) and say something like, "Just laugh at me girl. What the fvck. I thought you were cool."--at which point she either keeps laughing (good--her frame is scrambled) or she stops and tries to explain herself (good--she's investing).

Laughing is often supplicating behavior. It's why when you're dominant, girls will laugh at anything you say; it's why when you're in trouble, sometimes, you have the overwhelming urge to laugh. The problem is that you're insecure--and operating out of negative assumptions instead of positive assumptions: so you interpret it that the girl must be making fun of you (which is a super unattractive assumption and will dry out the most high interest girl) instead of she's so attracted she doesn't even know how to speak.

The truth is that 9/10 people in any given social environment don't even notice you exist. If a girl is reacting to you--whether it's a smile or a b1tchy expression or she's turning to her friend to whisper & laugh--that means you showed up on her radar & that you pretty much have permission to approach. Any reaction to your frame is a recognition of your frame--and all you have to do is hold it. That is always attractive. It's why a girl can be yelling & cursing you out & if you DGAF and just bask in the face of all that social pressure you can easily flip her to being attracted.

 

[SteveBlaine]

She was attracted to you lol; obviously trying to get your attention. All you had to do was hold frame (i.e. DGAF about her laughing) and talk to her.

What does DGAF mean? DTF = down to fvck. The frame to hold is the confident frame? I get it now. If she was showing me attention whether negative or positive -- I was on her radar. I need to remember that---good point.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Being "high energy" and funny is most definitely a plus with women. That's not to be confused with being a "clown", which is not a positive.

A clown is someone who jokes...all the fvcking time, often in self-deprecating ways. And even if, on an individual basis, the jokes are funny, the combined effect of this non-stop clowning leaves a negative impression. As with all things in life, humour is good in moderation.

 

[RedZone]

Speaking of Stand up..I did it for a group I was in when I was in college. Girls were all over me after I finished the set I did. Girls saw me completely. Grabbing my hand, touching me. The only real downside is when you have bad sets, which I had where I was pretty down right awful, but like anything else to be good at something you have to suck at it first.

 

[fastlife]

What does DGAF mean? DTF = down to fvck. The frame to hold is the confident frame? I get it now. If she was showing me attention whether negative or positive -- I was on her radar. I need to remember that---good point.

DGAF=Don't Give a Fvck

So think of it like this: If a 5 y/o girl called you a big dummy would it affect you or would you laugh it off and maybe make a funny face? Or you might tell them to knock it off. Hopefully one of the latter. You know your frame is stronger than a 5 y/o girl's. You (hopefully) wouldn't sulk & bail on the interaction or get in a logical discussion about college degrees or GPA's or job titles.

That's the kind of frame you should have with girls in general. Never take it personally, never explain yourself logically--laugh it off, agree & amplify, put them in their place.

Girls call me old, g*y, accuse me of being a player, call me a d1ck, call me a loser--and all of those are good reactions. I can flip any of those reactions--since I know I'm awesome. I know I have a lot of friends & people that love me; I know how many other girls love me or have loved me; I know how much money's in my bank account & I know that if they weren't interested they would've left, avoided eye contact, ignored me. Their opinion of me, based on how little they know, is laughable. And girls aren't dumb: they can tell when your frame is stronger than theirs & then they want to know why. That's attraction.

 

[sazc]

non stop clowning, non stop jokes are a huge turn off. you cant get to know someone if, every time you ask them a question, their reply is about humorous deflection or witty sarcasm. Non stop humor is a sign that the person is insecure and unwilling to let you in to know them. I;m not saying this is the OP, just making a comment.
She may have been flirting with you - in a very annoying way.

In the long term, @devilkingx2 got it right:

just remember that nobody cares, no random stranger cares so much about any other random stranger to mock or insult them for no reason. as soon as you're out of sight they'll forget whatever problem they had with you if they ever had a problem at all

 

[SteveBlaine]

I want to be BAD ASS like these guys....

Fastline - great point on the framing. Well understood and good examples. I will definitely put this into perspective next time.

Sazc maybe she was and I mistook her signals. She could have been wasted too.